Adoption is NOT a one sided interaction...?

Part of it is that adoption is such a sensitive issue that effects the lives of those involved dramatically, hence arguments are more likely to happen then if we were discussing the best type of muffin. Another point would be that many people here have been bullied by people in the groups they are angry at in real life, whether through coercion or closed records or whatever. Then there is the fact that people will say things on an message board that they would never say in a face to face conversation. Finally there are people on here who ask questions just to rile people up.

I think the issue here is money- on what ethically sound planet does any money change hands between any of the 3 sides involved in adoption? (The agency are not a side; they are an inevitability that should hold no part, other than basically administrative and certainly in no way emotional, in this situation). How much does a baby cost? Who decides the amount and on what basis? There should be no money at all involved in this. No money changed hands between any 'sides' at any point in my and thousands and thousands of other children's adoptions- the whole situation is completely outside of any kind of financial relevance; people shouldn't be profiting in any way for any part of adoption, whether for their administrative services, assessment fees, 'finding fees', whatever etc which they can dress up and call what they want but money has no place in adoption, because it is a sad fact of the world we live in that those who have to pay have no power without that money and adoption is outside of that.

It is not an equal transaction.

The power lies with the agencies, which were licensed by the government for the purpose of separating families.

The pre-adoptive couples and the agencies have had the same goal: to bring about an adoption.

Pregnant mothers, many of whom were not even legally adults , did not have the power to stop their children from being removed from their care.

The fathers of their children often abandoned them and their own parents sent them away, pregnant, and set up guardianships over them in maternity homes with strangers or with relatives.

Mothers were coerced into surrendering babies they wanted.

Civil rights were violated. It was a terrorization and a persecution of family rights.

Some people have never forgotten and some are just now starting to understand it.

Leaving aside all the issues others have raised, I will simply point out the obvious...

The child is not "involved." The child does not give consent. The child is a commodity traded by adults. Children have no say over this practice.

It is not equal.

Most of the power - if not ALL of it - is given to the adoptive side.

You are right, it is not "one-sided." It is a 4-party transaction. Two parties (adoption agency and customer) having the financial and social power to broker the child for adoption (making money) and obtaining the child (for money). Two parties (mother and child) lack the financial and social power to stay together with each other.

MOST adoptions take place because the mother lacks the resources she requires to take care of her child. This applies even in foster case adoptions, as the NASW states that 70% of children are in foster care due to poverty! And long-time social worker and baby broker Reuben Pannor himself states:

“Most infants placed for adoption come from poor families. Check with any of the adoption agencies and their adoption lawyers to verify that the number one reason for relinquishment today is the inability to afford to raise the child. This is a sad commentary on the richest and most powerful country in the world”

At age 17, my legal and human rights were violated when my child was stolen for adoption. The "agency" had paying customers waiting, and a hospital willing to violate rights and commit the fellony of child abduction by taking and withholding my baby from me right at birth. This still happens to mothers all over the U.S., even as far as mothers being forced to sign papers while still medicated from birth or recovering from birth. "You have to sign the papers at 72 hours" is what they are told. With no recourse in most places if they change their minds once they've recovered days or weeks later.

Adoption is a huge industry (over $2 billion in profit/yr).where vulnerable mothers are exploited. And these mothers are on the losing end of the transaction. We lose our children to adoption, no matter how much the agency presents it as a "choice," most of us wake up from the brainwashing a long time later and realize what was really done to us to convince us to surrender.