My husband told me that if I lost my job, he would send me back to my parents house...?
At the time when my husband told me this, his older brother was living with us (whom didn't and doesn't have a job). He eventually told his brother that he didn't have to share rent with us or any other expenses for that matter, so he can save up his money and get his own place. So my concern has been that, your brother can live scotch-free, while we take care of him, but if I'm became financially dependent, I have to leave, so I can save some money. He came back later and said he didn't mean it that way, and now he gets upset with me whenever I bring it to his attention that I feel it was wrong for him to say that. What do you think of this situation?
Anonymous2009-08-19T20:52:16Z
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I know how you feel my husband says things that are hurtful and then he say oh I didn't mean it that way..And I do try to let it go but it always in the back of my mind.And no both of you live in that house and have to pay bills sorry but the brother would be history and you should put your foot down and tell your husband you are not taking care of a grown man..he has to pay.
If he didn't mean it that way, don't bring it up again. If every time you bring it up, he'll get mad, don't bring it up !!
There are so many things you could fight about, in a marriage, or any relationship, for that matter.
Why not suggest his brother could help around the house, taking care of things your husband thinks is YOUR job, except you're working, and with the kids and dinner, and the cleaning and the laundry, and the pets and everyone wants something...... do you see ? Choose your battles, Honey.
Well I don't think that your brother in law should be living with you all scotch-free while you all work your a** off. I also think that you are a little too sensitive and will hold this against your husband for years to come and I also think that your husband didn't mean what he said. My husband say's a lot of stuff he don't mean to me and I don't let it bother me. So get over it and move on and have a happy marriage with your bother in law living with you.
It is wrong of your husband to say such things, maybe he came back later and said he did'nt mean it that way, anyway, it is in the back of his mind. Many relationships have soured due to the financial element. It would be meanness to ask the wife to go back to parents house if she lost the job. The fundamental question arises to the man, why do u marry if u cannot (financially and emotionally) support a wife ?
I think you should talk to your husband about the brother living there. If he is doing chores then ok no problem but, if he's just using you then problem. Also, if he has a job he could at least help pay some groceries.
If you haven't had that conversation it sounds like you need to have it.