Have any of you Senior Citizens tried this latest diet plan?
Yesterday, I was buying two large bags of dog food in Walmart. I was about to check out when a man behind me asked me if I had a dog. What did he think I had - an elephant? Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told him that no I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Pur*na diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. On the bright side though, I had lost 50 lbs., before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IV's in both arms. I told him that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Pur*na nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to give it a try again. (I have to mention here that everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.) Horrified, he asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told him no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to scratch my fleas and a car hit me. I thought that the guy behind him was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. Walmart won't let me shop there any more!
Try to find ONE group that Obama HASN'T pandered to. Next up are the Hispanics, who were ticked off when McCain agreed that BEFORE any Immigration Bill is considered ( his own ), the border MUST be closed. Now that's a man of integrity and guts, because he listened to the CITIZENS and knew he would lose the Hispanics. Now watch Obama promise full amnesty or some similar dribble. Won't that set off a few MILLION voters who totally oppose amnesty first.
No, I have not tried it. But I'm sure there are going to a few people in your line that will pick up the small bag of Purina just to try it out for awhile. There are so many crazy diets out there, someone is doing a Google search to see if there are some merits to the one you have described.
But the man's Q. was valid. I buy the 20lb. bag of cat food, a case of canned cat food, flea & tick medication. And I have no cat.
I have a stray (no one in neighborhood has been able to train her to be an in door cat in 8 years) that allows me to feed her. She'll tolerate the medication for the canned food.
If readers aren't "dog people", here is an alternative diet for the "cat people" in the audience:
Cat Miracle Diet
Most diets fail because we stubbornly continue to think and eat like humans. For those us who have never had any success dieting there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). The Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure as a cat. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck!
DAY ONE
Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more than seventy-five cents per can. Eat one bite of food then look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the most expensive carpet in your house.
Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die.
Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning.
DAY TWO
Breakfast: Pick up the leftover chicken from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.
Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed.
Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room.
DAY THREE:
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the nearest polished aluminum appliance you can find.
Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with.
Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor.
FINAL DAY:
Breakfast: Eat six bugs, assorted varieties, being sure to leave a collection of legs, wings, and antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow.
Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon.
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.
used to be seniors who couldn't get food would share the food with their pets, but that's not a diet, that used to be a necessity. Hilarious joke though.
I tried two diets over the years that work....the gum diet...the spaghetti diet....and the light diet that included and was mostly wylers soup squares.