Do you socialize offline with people who have a connection to adoption? Is it because of adoption, or random?

This is a strange question, and it really has no relevance other than my own curiosity:

Do you find that a significant number of the people you socialize with offline for reasons other than discussing adoption have a connection to adoption anyway?

I ask because I belatedly realized the other day that about 50% of the friends I socialize with regularly (as opposed to just acquaintances) are adoptees. By this I mean offline, real world, not "issue based" friends. Friends I met when we worked at the same place, or lived in the same building, or were the friend of another friend, etc., and happened to hit it off with. NOT friends I met through anything adoption-related, or people I spend time with because of their adoption status or talk more about adoption with than any other relevant topic. About half of mine are adoptees regardless, even though I am not an adoptee myself.

I suspect this is just a coincidence, and doesn't have any deeper meaning, but it made me curious if anyone else had the same experience.

Do you find that a sizable number of your friends you met and socialize with offline for reasons NOT related to adoption are from a particular group in the adoption "triad"? Is it the same group as your own, or is it a different group? Do you think there's any particular reason if so, or just the luck of the draw?

2009-09-14T13:50:29Z

Daisy-- yeah, that's exactly what I meant, but you put it better than I did. People we choose to socialize with because of our likes and dislikes, and what we enjoy doing. Thanks!

2009-09-14T14:29:27Z

Sorry I misspelled your name, Daisey. I'm embarrassed.

2009-09-14T17:34:34Z

Linny-- thanks for the compliment. That means a great deal to me, because I have a lot of respect for you, even when we disagree on things. You seem like a very intelligent and articulate person.

To answer your question, I hope to adopt from foster care someday, but I don't feel that I'm old enough to be an effective parent to a child in the age range I'm leaning toward, which is 8-10ish. (I technically could be a biological parent to a child that age if I had started early, but it would be a bit of a stretch.) So I'm maturing myself first, like a fine cheese. ;-)

As a child, I was friends with a whole bunch of foster kids, including a sibling group whom my parents tried to adopt, but who disappeared into the system in the meantime when they abruptly got the boot from their foster placement-- definitely a formative experience for me.

Also, one of my two best friends is an adoptee.

That is probably way more than you actually care about, but that's your answer. :-)

2009-09-14T17:39:09Z

Thanks for your answers, everyone. None of the thumbs down are from me. All these answers have been great.

Anonymous2009-09-14T20:48:04Z

Favorite Answer

I think just about everyone I know ends up having some kind of link to adoption. Adoption affects so many people.

I seem to find myself making friends with adoptees, long before I even know they are adopted. It's kind of weird, but we end up being very compatible and are drawn to each other without even knowing the adoption connection at first. As a natural mom, I am someone they can bounce their feelings off and feel safe and get a "mom" perspective. I also get the perspective in reverse.

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AnnaBelle2009-09-14T18:05:36Z

I do socialize with some foster families...Some I knew before I decided to foster (one in particular was my inspiration, actually), and many I've gotten to know since our training.

It really helps because of the parenting tips...You can't always parent a foster/adoptive child the same way that you would parent a biochild, and I've picked up some awesome info.

That said, my best friend in high school was an adoptee as well, and my husband and I have several adoptees in our families, so there are some that we have known "unintentionally".

I also used to work with S.S., in several capacities, so I got to know foster families there, too.

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?2016-12-03T02:38:36Z

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Anonymous2009-09-15T03:46:25Z

Not really. The only people who I know are adopted are those I've met on-line. As to being friends with someone because of it - it'll never happen. I make friends with people because we like each other, get on, and understand some of the ways the other one thinks, not because of something as inane as having adoption in common (which isn't to say that talking about having adoption in common never leads to friendships being formed).

20

Anonymous2009-09-14T14:58:03Z

I'd have to count how many of my friends are adopted or somehow involved in adoption... 4. 4 is a lot considering I have like 6 friends, half of them not even living in the same counntry as I do.

So, basically 2/3 of the people I socialize with are adoptees but I think that number is kind of weirded out since I don't know a lot of people...

But on here, it's adoptees, APs, and first moms mostly. :)

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