barefoot she twirls
to a waltz of her own making
the folds of her skirt billow
as she bends
swaying to the right
then the left, dipping her
lovely head, her
slender shoulders following
to the tune of her imagining
one, two, three
one, two, three
her smile,
a mystery
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
I was never a good dancer but love to watch others dance...it's poetry in motion if done well and when in "imagery", it's magical...a mystery to the one watching. It conveys a smile to another with ease. I like this...you've captured "her"...in mystery, known only to herself.
Anonymous
It doesn't make me cry, but it does remind me a little of that James Wright poem "A Blessing," even if Wright's poem is the opposite in tone. I don't really buy L4. How/why would the wind be waiting for the speaker to do anything? Even if it refers to the winds of change (of time), the way it's framed seems a little too self-centered. I wonder how you'd feel about tightening the poem up some, especially at the beginning: subtle graze of horses summer roaming gallant in thoughts ... or something like that, with or without punctuation. Could change flow too radically or make things too unclear, though. Imagery's good, too. The picture roaming gallantly, like a knight (or of course like a thoroughbred without a rider), means your thoughts/mind/brain are all landscapes. But your face is as well---thus the probably cracked surface of it being watered. (Is it a desert? Is it already wet, perhaps suffering from root rot? Who can say?) Also like the way "stop them from watering" can mean the speaker is either keeping the tears from coming at all or trying to stop ones already coming. Although at first unsure about its brevity (and might go back to that uncertainty in a few minutes, hours, or days, and then reverse again), now I think it conveys a proper resignation. So, all in all, a pretty good job....
Sandy Giggles
You bet it can! A really good poem at that!
you been inside my head or what?! I been dancin' around the house all day...
actually, this is very good Ma. I can see a great image of a beautiful girl...'her smile, a mystery'
cassie58
A great job of getting dance into a poem. Very good imagery. I tried it recently with one I wrote on Jazz and Jive.
Duchamp
Any image can be a poem!
The seemly simple ones are the most complex!
There are obviously deeper meanings to Your gentle poem, a child or the memories You might reflect on!
Enjoy!