My youngest is really struggling with the concept that while my ffamily is blood, that my AP are still very "real" parents.
What is the best way to discuss the "realness" of all parts of adoptive and first families with a child? Anyone else struggled to help their child understand?
Carol c
Favorite Answer
Right.. tell her that all your parents are real. Adopted people have 4 real parents - those that gave birth and those that raised them.
rawson
i think of it relies upon on the mummy and dad. If I had the communicate with my mom which you probably did with yours i might experience the comparable way, yet I favored having "the communicate" with my mom and need to have it with my babies. i found that what i grow to check in college grow to be no longer as complete as i might have enjoyed it to be and now a days with further and further colleges coaching abstinence in basic terms i think that it is significant for babies to earnings that categorical, abstinence is the wonderful thank you to stay away from being pregnant yet there are the form to be risk-free in case you opt to have intercourse. My mom grow to be very open with me and our "communicate" began with the fundamentals, don't have intercourse till you're waiting, and once you're do it wisely. via the time i grow to be sixteen we had an extremely open courting that i grow in an effort to ask her any intercourse appropriate factor no be counted how awkward it made the two one persons. working example, i comprehend her history and how she grow to be one in all those undesirable ladies that lose it to the guy that they theory enjoyed them and easily he in basic terms needed intercourse and as quickly as he have been provided that he grow to be completed together with her. *extra advantageous question answer- i might completely help my toddler in it and could make effective that i grow to be available for them to speak to in the event that they began to have doubts approximately it or in basic terms mandatory confirmation that they are doing the wonderful factor. For the checklist: My sister is married and has a daughter and that i'm very nearly effective that my father continues to be confident that she has in no way had intercourse. Which in all probability explains why he has in no way had that lively of slightly in "the communicate".
Poison_Ivy1249
Personally talking to a child that age, the answer Kacy gave would be one of the best scenarios that a child would understand, and as it grows up and learns more about how the complexity of an adoption really is it will have an understanding
Anonymous
Gotta say, I'm with Kacy on this one. If the child's very young, then relating it to someone other than yourselves could make it a lot easier. If you don't like the pet comparison, you can always try to use Superman or someone like that instead.
SJM
Two of my children are in their mid-20's, and they've both explained to me (one very gently, the other quite directly) that while they understand I grew up not knowing my natural parents, they didn't. They love and respect my ap's, but they've made it clear that I was adopted. They weren't. They weren't asking for my opinion or my approval of their opinion. The apple don't fall far, does it? They do, of course, have a cordial relationship with my ap's, but they very much understand that there is a difference. They can explain it in quite good detail, and on occasion, they do.
ETA: Anha, however you explain it, you may want to think twice before you encourage your child to think of you as your ap's pet. I know the advice was probably well intended, but....
When my kids were young, I simply explained to them that my ap's were the only parents I knew growing up. Of course, you see how that turned out. But the pet thing, oh dear.