Talking to kids about "real" parents?

Right.. tell her that all your parents are real. Adopted people have 4 real parents - those that gave birth and those that raised them.

i think of it relies upon on the mummy and dad. If I had the communicate with my mom which you probably did with yours i might experience the comparable way, yet I favored having "the communicate" with my mom and need to have it with my babies. i found that what i grow to check in college grow to be no longer as complete as i might have enjoyed it to be and now a days with further and further colleges coaching abstinence in basic terms i think that it is significant for babies to earnings that categorical, abstinence is the wonderful thank you to stay away from being pregnant yet there are the form to be risk-free in case you opt to have intercourse. My mom grow to be very open with me and our "communicate" began with the fundamentals, don't have intercourse till you're waiting, and once you're do it wisely. via the time i grow to be sixteen we had an extremely open courting that i grow in an effort to ask her any intercourse appropriate factor no be counted how awkward it made the two one persons. working example, i comprehend her history and how she grow to be one in all those undesirable ladies that lose it to the guy that they theory enjoyed them and easily he in basic terms needed intercourse and as quickly as he have been provided that he grow to be completed together with her. *extra advantageous question answer- i might completely help my toddler in it and could make effective that i grow to be available for them to speak to in the event that they began to have doubts approximately it or in basic terms mandatory confirmation that they are doing the wonderful factor. For the checklist: My sister is married and has a daughter and that i'm very nearly effective that my father continues to be confident that she has in no way had intercourse. Which in all probability explains why he has in no way had that lively of slightly in "the communicate".

Personally talking to a child that age, the answer Kacy gave would be one of the best scenarios that a child would understand, and as it grows up and learns more about how the complexity of an adoption really is it will have an understanding

Gotta say, I'm with Kacy on this one. If the child's very young, then relating it to someone other than yourselves could make it a lot easier. If you don't like the pet comparison, you can always try to use Superman or someone like that instead.

Two of my children are in their mid-20's, and they've both explained to me (one very gently, the other quite directly) that while they understand I grew up not knowing my natural parents, they didn't. They love and respect my ap's, but they've made it clear that I was adopted. They weren't. They weren't asking for my opinion or my approval of their opinion. The apple don't fall far, does it? They do, of course, have a cordial relationship with my ap's, but they very much understand that there is a difference. They can explain it in quite good detail, and on occasion, they do.

ETA: Anha, however you explain it, you may want to think twice before you encourage your child to think of you as your ap's pet. I know the advice was probably well intended, but....

When my kids were young, I simply explained to them that my ap's were the only parents I knew growing up. Of course, you see how that turned out. But the pet thing, oh dear.

once i had to do a family tree project and i have 3 sets of step-parents so needless to say it was a little crowded. this may help her visualize it. put yourself in the middle leaving enough room for her dad next to you and her and her siblings below you both. to one side put the main players of you Aparents and family and to the other put the birth family. this way you can show her your two families and talk about how each of them played a part in your life. make sure you tell them that the fact that someone is blood related or not doesn't mean you love them anymore or less, you love all of your family. i like the other posters opinion too don't say "real" or "fake" just stick to parents and birthparents.

Dear Anha,

Say you have a sister, your child's aunt is blood related. Your sister marries and her husband becomes your child's uncle. Uncle Bob is not blood related to you but he is still very much your family. Hope it helps.

That's what I used. Careful with the pet analogy with adopted children (I know ur child isn't adopted). Too many people get rid of their "adopted" pets, leads to way more complications trust me.

Just explain that while two of them actually conceived/ gave birth to you, the other two were the ones that took care of you and raised you. Ask her "well, what if I told you that you didn't really grow in my tummy? Wouldn't I still be your real mommy?"

Maybe if you told her you have 4 parents. 2 AP, and 2 biological parents.

Point out that she has more than 1 sibling, more than 1 cousin, etc, so you have more than 2 parents.

Get away from the word "real". Young kids have trouble distinguishing between real and make believe. She could be thinking you have a set of cartoon parents running around somewhere. LOL!!

Maybe get away from the idea of adoption in general until she's a little older. When you see any of your parents, refer to them by name.

i am not sure how old she is but if she is really young the easiest explaination would be to use a pet as an example if she has one. just explain it like "joey our cat was born to a mom and dad cat so those are his birth parents, but then we adopted him. when we brought him into our home we promised to love him, and take care of him forever just like he was a part of our family...."

*if you want to give me a thumbs down then at least give her an answer you think is better geez. sorry if i offended adoptees i know it is much more complex and emotional and can not really be compared to picking up a dog from a shelter but this just somewhere very basic to start and she can add details later to better explain the situation as her child ages.*