I am SO in love... but everything is wrong. :(?

Question

Alright, before you read this, remember: Love conquers all. That's just the type of person I am.

Okay, with that being said, here is my story:
At the end of the summer, I was really desperate to not be alone. So when this sweet, and above all, convenient guy from down the block (let's call him "Muffin") asked me out, I said yes, despite not being terribly attracted to him. I thought that as time went on, I could develop feelings for him- I was wrong. We're good friends and all, but in the end that's about it.
So one day, Muffin introduces me to his best friend... Cupcake. Cupcake took my breath away from the very start- he's a gentleman, an intellectual, and so completely my type. But it's more than that... we just "click". I think about him constantly, and there is NOTHING in the world I would like more than to just BE with him.
So one day, Cupcake found out that I had feelings for him. When he brought it up to me, I didn't deny it, but I did apologize for making things weird for him. He replied that it's not weird, that he sort of likes me too, but cares to much for Muffin to say anything about it. And I said that being friends is good too. So we exchanged phone numbers, and now he says he wants to "hang out as friends". He has also admitted to another friend of mine that he finds me attractive.

This brings me to the question:
What in the world can I do? I know it's not fair to lead Muffin on like this, and trust me, I've tried to get over Cupcake... no luck. I'm hopeless. I want this so bad, but... what can I do when all I will ever be to him is his "best friend's girl"?
Please, no moral lectures. I know this whole thing is pretty messed up. I just don't want this to be one of those "what if" things that I regret for the rest of my life.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

aw hun i'm so sorry you're going through this. it sounds like a tough situation to be in, and it seems like you didn't plan it to be that way, so please don't feel bad for it. anyway, as hard it may seem, i would honestly say that if you really like Cupcake, then tell Muffin your situation. Him and Cupcake are good friends, so he would want Cupcake to be happy. And if you are already not terribly attracted to Muffin, then it's not fair to either of you to be with each other. 

Finding someone you like and "click" with is very hard, so work hard for it. Don't give up, because regardless of how difficult this will be, it will certainly be easier than spending the rest of your life wondering what could have been. Good luck to you, and I hope it all works out.

And if you have time, will you answer mine please? Thanks!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au2Ac011ds9zUm3zADXMLszsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091125154738AAIEZoT

gonefromthisworld · Answer

i totally get you. And that's a tough posistion. It really depends on many things, 1. how does muffin feel about you? 2. how close are muffin and cupcake (by the way these names are making me hungry lol. ) and 3. how long have you known muffin? depending on the answer to those you have to react different. if i was in this situation i would probably try to let muffin down easily and say that you really feel as if you guys are really better friends than anything else. and just gradually let that go, and if you can stay friends.. then slowly start hanging out more and more with cupcake, SLOWLY. because you don't want to make muffin think you left him for cupcake, that'll start a fight between them, and you'll most likely be the one that gets left out in the end, so be careful to do this slowly. get to know cupcake more, and then eventually be with him. just be careful. :) hope i helped. and good luck.

abbeycoolit · Answer

First of all ,when you are asking for help or advice,you do not begin by telling the people whose help and advice you seek what they can and can not say. If you feel that way ,then do not ask for their feed back and so you would not hear something you do not want to hear. Now to your issue. You have a sticky situation but not one that you can not overcome with some honest open talk.  I would suggest the following : 1) Make sure you truly have feelings for "Cupcake" and it is not just your fear of being alone speaking. 2) If your feelings for him are real,then you have to talk to "Muffin".3)Tell him in a nice but firm manner the truth about your feelings for him;that you can only be platonic friends.Answer all of his questions honestly and openly being mindful of his own feelings for you. 4) After number 3 above is concluded, then tell him of your feelings  for Cupcakes and that he feels the same way about you. However,that you both have not given way to your feelings for each other out of concern and respect for his feelings but that you hope that he would be happy for the two of you dating and finding happiness together. Tell him that you both do not want to hurt him  but have no control over how you feel for Cupcakes and how he feels about you. 5) It may be necessary for you and Cupcakes to then have a talk with Muffins together to reassure him that you guys are not going to forget all about him because you start dating. 6) Finally,assuming that something goes wrong or does not go as intended,you and Cupcakes would have to discuss what to do if Muffins reaction were negative;would you be willing to forgo his friendship to be together or not.  As soon as the issues above are clear ,your belief that "love conquers all "would be put to the test.As an aside I happen to agree with you.

Anonymous · Answer

Ok. for one, its not your fault how you feel. but you really should not leade "muffin" on like that, its only going to break him. Also once you have broke up with muffin see how things go between you and cupcake. you dont want to rush into things. muffin will undertsnad eventually. he might not like at first, but in the end he will move on, find some one that takes his breathe away. make sure you know cupcake befour you go to any further steps thou. Good luck xx

hungry heart · Answer

If you start to hang out with cupcake and he really likes you, it'll soon be more than just friends. And muffin will have to understand it, if he's a true friend.

I am SO in love... but everything is wrong. :(?

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