Pregnant with the flu, husband left to ski while I'm left with toddler? No call yet...?

I am 28 weeks pregnant and I work 2 jobs since my husband lost his. He stays home with our toddler until he finds a job and then I can go back to taking care of her full-time. He honestly does a great job with the child-care but obviously I still do most of the housework.

Anyway, last night around 11 PM I started vomiting. I left our bedroom as not to disturb him and vomited every 1/2 hour all night and then started the diarrhea stage. Lots of fun. My husband had planned a day of skiing up north (we live in NH so skiing is fairly common place but he often doesn't get to go with friends).

I was crippled, covered in puke, and exhausted from no sleep. He insisted on still skiing because he's home all the time and doesn't get out much. I couldn't even stand up straight and he's been gone since 7:15 AM. I'm so pissed. What should I do? Am I wrong to be pissed? I always get up with our daughter every day of the week and get her fed before I wake him before I go. I never am sick, and I don't often ask him to cover for "social" reasons, 99% is work related "babysitting".

What should I do? He always chooses selfish is it personality or something he can change?

curiouscanadian2010-01-03T15:15:54Z

Favorite Answer

No the answer isn't to leave as I've just read. I can honestly see both your point of view. I think in fairness, it was an unforeseen circumstance and your husband really does need the break. I also don't think he had time to think it through this morning. Hopefully he will come to his senses and make it up to you when he gets back.

Juicy2010-01-03T15:48:26Z

while i have a lot of compassion for the vulnerability of a pregnant woman, i must say there is something that does not sit well with me. you come across as a whiner. you are pregnant with your second child, which means you have some experiences with your husband's behaviour. if there are things about this illistration of your life, which does not look right - then change it. if you were to re-read this story, with an objective mind, what advice might you give. stop complaining about your situation, because it is you who decided it was a good idea to work 2 jobs while you are pregnant, get up with your child at night and allow your husband to go on a day away (because he needs a break). i have to wonder if you are just venting, but not saying a word to him. remember, you are teaching your children what they should settle for and how men and women treat one another. good luck.

bandaid_462010-01-03T15:16:01Z

Yes, he can change, but only if he wants to. NO, you are not wrong to be pissed. Stay home until you get better and make him do EVERYTHING, including wait on you hand and foot. Tell him how you feel about his leaving you when you were so sick.

I hope he ends up with the flu.

Wisen Smart2010-01-03T15:16:24Z

If my husband ever leaves me pregnant and sick to go skiing, you know where he can find his belongings when he gets back, don't you?

I would have been so hurt, disappointed and humiliated that he chose a trip over pregnant sick me. That would show me just how little he loves me. I would never even dream of leaving my husband sick to go on a pleasure trip.

Cabbie Lover2010-01-03T15:16:03Z

He's self absorbed, selfish and despicable. He not only showed you that he cared NOTHING for you -- him leaving you alone and sick with a toddler shows you that he cares little or nothing about them or their well being as well. No person with an ounce of compassion, morality or ethics would abandon their family at a time like this.

I'd suggest rethinking staying with someone that's this disgusting.

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