Looking for writings by someone who aged out of an orphanage or foster care and opposes adoption?
Can anyone point me in the direction of a blogger or website owner who aged out of an orphanage or foster care (was actually not ever adopted) and participates in or speaks for the anti-adoption movement?
I usually just google stuff like this, but I'm not having any success. I like to read as many perspectives as possible on an issue, and that seems like an important one that I've never actually seen.
Just to increase my personal knowledge base. Thanks in advance.
2010-01-22T19:46:56Z
Thanks anyway, Cal. I actually follow quite a few foster care and adoptive parent blogs. (As well as adoptee and natural parent blogs.)
I was just wondering because the anti-adoption movement/position does exist, and this seems like it would be a fairly crucial piece of it? I just seem not to have the web surfing skills to find it.
2010-01-22T22:17:36Z
Old Fashioned Mother-- that's been the case for all the foster kids I've talked to, as well. But I can't imagine that any opinion is universal, which is why I'm really hoping to find an example of the other side.
2010-01-22T22:20:32Z
Mum to Superkids-- Actually, I have a LOT of formerly fostered and adoptee friends, so getting in touch with the formerly fostered isn't really an issue.
What I'm trying to work out specifically is their role (if any?) in the anti-adoption movement. I don't think our CAS would necessarily know that. But it's worth a try I suppose...
kitta2010-01-22T22:56:09Z
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I don't know anyone personally now who writes about it.
But I have taken phone calls from people like that, years ago, when I was working for a national search/support organization.
There are lots of them. They are looking for their families, and they join up with adoption search and reunion groups.
many of them were removed for issues that did not involve severe abuse, so they do not hate their biological parents. They wish they could have stayed with them.
I support foster care adoptions 100%. My state has underwent a lot of reforms in the past 40 years --and that's why I agree. I have known a FEW cases where I had second thoughts. I do not believe in long term foster care---it is a form of limbo for the children and many have expressed that same sentiment to me. They no longer belong to their birth family and they are not ours either. Adoption does give them a seance of identity. I remember vividly the years of long term faster placement and I hope never to see that again. Yes it is best to keep siblings together if it can be done or at least have some form of contact after the adoption ---which I believe is rarely done. One of the problems ---the big problem---when it comes to keeping kids together is the LACK OF FOSTER HOMES. And there are too many people just not interested--and some interested for the wrong reasons. And when 4 kids are placed in 4 different homes in foster care and two years down the road these kids become available for adoption----and if each family is interested in adopting the child they have----then that is what happens---99% of the time. They all don't go to one home---no way. In an ideal world kids would never leave their home but it's not an ideal world. And there are not enough homes to keep them altogether--- I would like that too.
Well, I have aged out, but have a positive view of adoption.
I had a roommate though who was against it. I guess she was placed in foster care because her single mother had an illness and finally ended up in the hospital, so she wasn't sent into the system because of abuse or neglect. Her mother was in the hospital for a substantial amount of time and lost her job because of it. (It went passed the her allotted sick days) When she was released for the hospital, she had no income so the county would not release her daughter to her until she did. Soon after that they did try to pressure the mother to consent to her daughter being placed for adoption.
My room mate saw this as a huge injustice and felt the county was just trying to tear her family apart to appease a waiting couple who would pay fees for a child. I agree that this is a very sad and unfortunate case, but would not generalize it to all cases.
Unfortunately I have not seen her since she was emancipated 7 years ago. She did say she was moving back in with her mom to help her out.
♥♥Mum to Superkids Baby on board♥♥2010-01-22T22:01:52Z
Does it have to be on the internet? I don't know about where you live, but where I am our child protection & fostering service works with a lot of aged out foster children, and adults who were fostered at some point during their lives. They usually speak at the foster care training, work on legislation, etc so if your local department has a similar program they would probably be the people to ring. Just an idea :)
I've not seen that point of view either from former foster kids. I would have loved to have been cherished and loved, from foster care. Heck, I would have settled for kinda tolerated like natural families get along. Even ups and downs are part of family life and much better than nothing.
It's the adoptees with families that have the luxury of finding it distasteful.