If your spouse or significant other became gravely disabled, would you put them in a nursing home?

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This is something my husband and I have discussed periodically throughout our marriage. We've both had multiple 'close calls'; injuries (often work related) or friends who were seriously injured and who became significantly, permanently, disabled as a result of those injuries. I know that as we age the potential for a disabling illness or injury increases; but the need for long term care can happen at any age.

We would make decisions based on what is needed at the time. We both have the capacity to care for the other if needed. We have family and friends who could help, and neither of us is a martyr or too proud to ask for help. We would use home health care providers. There are multiple day programs, caregiver respite programs, and support groups in our area. We would consider using a long term care facility, a rehabilitation facility, assisted living center, or nursing home, if a high level of care were needed. If either of us were terminally ill, we'd use hospice services and likely stay at home.

I have family and friends who were cared for at home and who were cared for in long term care facilities. No matter where they were cared for; their families were involved in their care.

I prefer to keep all options open. I just can't say definitely yes we'd use a nursing home or that I never would. It is good to think about these things a little bit; but in general I don't worry too much about it. I just have confidence that we'll do the best we can when the decision time comes....Show more

My parents have both passed on. I had to put my father in a nursing home. I still had a family to take care of. I felt very guilty at the time. He kept running away. We lived in the country.It was very upsetting to have to do this.Several years later I was a nurse and worked in nursing homes. You hear of bad care but not very often.I have also done Private care which I enjoyed very much.There are a lot of good nursing homes. It becomes a 24 hr. a day job. No one person can do this for very long. When you are both old and are trying to take care of yourself and then a spouse , It is a lot harder than you think.So don't feel guilty. Go visit the nurseing homes, you can do that , and have a look around. You will find what suites their needs....Show more

If the tables were turned. I wouldn't want to burden my significant other and would rather, either find a way to gain back my ability to take care of myself or find an institution where I could be taken care of. I'd hope my significant other would feel the same but if they didn't. I could do it. I'm an altruist after all....Show more

No not unless there was no way I could possibly take care of them myself then I would want to go to the home with them, just like it was in the movie the Notebook, nothing should keep us apart. Not like an illness. I would want to make sure they were treating him well and not doing the best they could at all times I would never just leave it up to someone else not ever we said for better or worse, ricer or poor and in sickness and health. I meant those words....Show more

If it was something I could handle, I would take care of it at home if it was my wife. If I could not completely handle it, I would get hospice care or have help come in.

I am pretty sure she would like to be at home. If this happens when I get much older, then the story will likely change but, for now, a nursing home would be last resort....Show more