Marriage not working as well as it used to?

I have been married for 10 years together for 12. the last 4 years have been so distant, like we are friends w/very little benefits. He is self employed. so he is home all day. I am disabled now, I have a genetic disorder, diagnosed 5 yrs ago. It has been extremely depressing, I have worked all my life until then.
I am extremely depressed, I long for compassion and understanding and love, he feels he gives it and I just need to try harder. I have given my all. I don't know what else to try.
I have tried the sexy nity, the candles burning, the perfume and music,counselingg,psychiatristt, family and still he feels, well we just need to work harder. I love you, he says, I say now, I know you do, but just not the way I want to be loved. I am a woman and need some compassion. I don't care about the sexual part anymore, just to be held and comforted. I am not the one that is saying this and I told him,well, you are fine the way life is going. You don't want to be alone, you want to b2gether, but on romance, he says yes i do, you need to give me a chance, and now it has been a while and you feel if I do anything it is for myself, so how do I do that? and I said, you need to show it and not keep saying I love you. he says he does.
I am tired, I am so depressed, I sit here, look around, I don't even want to do anything here anymore., I feel like just letting everything go andexistt here, that is what I am doing at this point,rightt?. He says give me a chance, gosh, I thought I did.

I was married b4, he wasn't and marriage to me isn't this way. I told him that and he thinks that I am comparing marriages and men.
I have an opportunity to talk with someone from the past, I don't know if that is a good idea, to close for comfort perhaps....I don't want it to spark anything, but then again, i don't know . perhaps someone can give me some help here, please.
I know I think it is wrong, . But I am so lonely and sad, I want to be held and show love, but going in that direction would almost be going backwards. I would rather not say, but I am sure you can read into what that meant, I don't know what to do., I need some help here.

Yes, I have had hobbies, art/music/walking/reading/painting/drawing/ on the internet ......
I have run out of things to do, I guess I just don't care anymore....
some help please :(

olderbutwiser2010-04-18T12:13:00Z

Favorite Answer

The first thing I think you need to do is go to the doctor again, a different one if possible, and get some help for your depression. You are extremely depressed, and all but given up on your marriage. Once you get help for the depression, then you will see life in a different perspective, and will be able and willing to work on your marriage. At one time or another, all of us in life have felt helpless and hopeless in our marriages, but only you know if it is worth working for, trying to salvage. My advice is to not get involved in a past scenario. That would not be good for you, nor your marriage.I would like to tell you that everything is going to be fine, but I am a realist, and know that unless both sides are willing to work together to make the marriage last, it's not going to happen. Get some help for your depression, then see where you stand in this marriage. I wish you the best!

10

Anonymous2010-04-16T16:23:38Z

Your question says that the marriage doesn't work as well as it used to. So did it used to work well?
Was it the disability that happened? I think you have to ask a lot of perhaps hard questions. I think
you are very right to go slowly re: knowing someone else. Many men don't have it to give. They
do love you. They don't love you the way you'd like it done. They usually can't change. So, if
you also can't change, well, then nothing will work. Can you change at all? Because I strongly
doubt that he can.

01

Anonymous2016-12-11T23:51:16Z

this is called manipulation and besides the very undeniable truth that you'll get what you desire. the different human being can experience they're being manipulated and also you'll pay for it later.once you commence taking area in video games, you're beginning the marriage as a lot as sport taking area in. you could like prevailing yet don't have any human being in charge in case you eventually end up dropping.

00

Related Questions

Does using reverse physiology work in a marriage?I have tried for five years to make my marriage work praying using bless oil all over the house his clothes?How do u know its no use trying to work things out in a marriage?how do u know its no use trying to work things out in a marriage?Is Love the Only Thing Needed to Make Marriage Work?

Trending Questions

Would you say based on these factors that my relationship won't work long term?14 answersWhat is the cause of excessive vagina tightness and dryness?16 answersCo worker and girls?18 answerswhat are your thoughts?20 answersMy husband said he needs a lot of time to deal with my affair before he comes back home. do I deal with the feelings of intense loneliness?31 answers