Marriage not working as well as it used to?

I have been married for 10 years together for 12. the last 4 years have been so distant, like we are friends w/very little benefits. He is self employed. so he is home all day. I am disabled now, I have a genetic disorder, diagnosed 5 yrs ago. It has been extremely depressing, I have worked all my life until then.

I am extremely depressed, I long for compassion and understanding and love, he feels he gives it and I just need to try harder. I have given my all. I don't know what else to try.

I have tried the sexy nity, the candles burning, the perfume and music,counselingg,psychiatristt, family and still he feels, well we just need to work harder. I love you, he says, I say now, I know you do, but just not the way I want to be loved. I am a woman and need some compassion. I don't care about the sexual part anymore, just to be held and comforted. I am not the one that is saying this and I told him,well, you are fine the way life is going. You don't want to be alone, you want to b2gether, but on romance, he says yes i do, you need to give me a chance, and now it has been a while and you feel if I do anything it is for myself, so how do I do that? and I said, you need to show it and not keep saying I love you. he says he does.

I am tired, I am so depressed, I sit here, look around, I don't even want to do anything here anymore., I feel like just letting everything go andexistt here, that is what I am doing at this point,rightt?. He says give me a chance, gosh, I thought I did.

I was married b4, he wasn't and marriage to me isn't this way. I told him that and he thinks that I am comparing marriages and men.

I have an opportunity to talk with someone from the past, I don't know if that is a good idea, to close for comfort perhaps....I don't want it to spark anything, but then again, i don't know . perhaps someone can give me some help here, please.

I know I think it is wrong, . But I am so lonely and sad, I want to be held and show love, but going in that direction would almost be going backwards. I would rather not say, but I am sure you can read into what that meant, I don't know what to do., I need some help here.

Yes, I have had hobbies, art/music/walking/reading/painting/drawing/ on the internet ......

I have run out of things to do, I guess I just don't care anymore....

some help please :(