PLEASE B HONEST, should I stay or should I go?Please help me! Am I living a NITEMARE, HELP PLEASE?
PLEASE take me serious, please,
I am in a situation that I really don't know what to do, and now there is a time limit. I have been w/my fiance' for 11 years, we just had our 2nd daughter 1 year next mo. We have been fighting really bad for about 6+mo's. . He has told me that I have 1 month to put the ring back on & 6 months to get another job. I love my job & the people and staff, I work @ a Nursing Hm. almost 8 yrs. now. HE actually went as far as calling places to C if they were hiring so I could get a better job, I told him I didn't want to, he said, I should do this 2 benefit us & always want more and get better. I enjoy the family time, quite times, comforting times.
He makes almost double the $ that I earn, he just bought a huge truck and I bought a small car, mine is paid off now, his isn't. he works in another city and takes my car everyday and says too bad that I want my car, u r not going 2, I work father than U. I have told him the truck is so big it is hard for me to drive, he don't care, just takes the keys and goes.
He calls me names everyday,
tells me to get to F.... out of HIS house, gives me time limits on everything.
He even claimed our 1st daughter on income tax for 7 yrs and last yr he let me and this yr, I could claim both, like he did 4 7 yrs. I got a copy, his mother makes it out and they claimed one and me one, even though, he knows I was counting on this money and we had a house fire, (which the bed went up in flames, he was smoking and then it started), he got a lot of money out of that, I didn't get anything., the insurance co. said I wasn't on the policy and should of had renters ins.
I clean, work full time, take care of both children, keep our home immaculant, make our even dinners, do laundry and his and fold them,
If i am watching TV in the BR, he comes in lays down and takes the remote out of my hand and just does what he wants.
The other night when we were fighting he asked our daughter (9), how would you like a new mommy, a step mommy, that way u get 2 BD's, 2 Xmas's. I couldn't believe it, I am now at the point of I want to leave but don't have the means to do so.
I am not perfect, yrs ago, we used to fight and it would get physical, I have gotten so mad I made a hole in the wall, but we are talking about yrs ago when we lived in an apt., we have a home now, HIS HOUSE>, in which I have to pay the lights, cable, phone and buy all the food every week. (Again, he makes double $ than I do. and I put gas in the monster truck.
Also, when he asked me to marry him last year and he has mentioned this several times that I would have to sign a pre-nup, I said NO, he said, I have a lot of assets I worked 4, if it weren't 4 me, he wouldn't even have HIS house. The last thing he said this morn, b4 work was bye *****, I cry, I need affection, attention, love, understanding intamacy etc. and I did tell him this, but nothing, unless he rolls over and says, he give me a BJ, I am like, come on, R U serious, yeh, what about it,
he wants it his way the only way or I can leave, no where to go, not enough money to get there from here whereever that would be.
I need to know, (what does it mean when a man gets out of work, comes through the door, (remember we do not get along) and he is grinning ear to ear and smiling? That is bugging me.,
I am at the point where I want to move out on my own w/kids, I don't want to fight anymore, I just sit there,
like last night, I went to the computer put a song on and was listening, a rap type song and he came in and you would of thought he caught me w/my pants down having sex, he called me names, told me screaming I know why U r playing that song, shut it off now, MY God, can't I listen to music, he says, it is a past guy thing and he is mad. that is bull.
I don't know what to do, I get up, never ever have gone to bars or been a bad mom, I get up, get 2 kids ready, go 2 work, p/u baby, come home, clean, watch kids, plan supper and do everything, he does NOTHING.
He is extremely hateful to me, calls me names, wants me to leave, says I can't take the kids, I am scared that bcause he makes more money they would give him custody. NO police have ever beeni involved when things got a bit ugly, He says he will always get a better laywer he is right, i don't have the money or hom to fight with. I have no money saved up to get an apartment, I do not want to bring my kids to the Shelter, we live in the Country and my daughter goes to the same school since she began in the country town.
I just need to know, what would you do, really seriously....
I do not want this to effect the kids, I want a normal life, I thought I had it all now it is going, but is it right to live w/someone that is so mentally abusive as this man? But, another question, (Is this the real way life is, go 2 work, come home, argue, go to bed get up and do all over aga