Adoptees & All Other Members Of The Adoption Arena........?
As I Just Came Back From Shutting The World Out For The Last Couple Of Days, (You Know The Dark & Lonely Spaces In Your Mind Filled With Demons & Ugliness). I'm Curious As To What Tools Or Methods You May Use To Help Pull Yourself Out & Come Back To The Sunshine's Of Life ?
2010-05-05T08:36:53Z
LOL My friends I'll try my best to change my typing, it's just i had a teacher that beat it into me & we all know how hard self change is, just know i'll work on it ! LOL
Cambria2010-05-04T17:58:29Z
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My husband My puppies I have friends that I can call and just say a few key words to and they will immediately come over to help out
The best thing I can do is manage to catch it in the early moments and try to derail it. Like force myself to go over to a friend's house. Usually I won't even really do anything when I go over there. We will just curl up and read or watch movies, but forcing myself to do something slightly different and that goes against my impulses to shut down can help derail the coming storm and will help me reset and get back to normal.
Other times, I will allow myself one or two days to completely wallow and then get back to business. It helps me regroup faster if I just let it happen for a day or so rather than expending all the extra energy fighting against it for so long.
Those are things that work for me. But it was was long process of trial and error and hard work to get to a place where I can spot warning signs early and where I can work out what the best course of action might be and to have built a reliable support system of people I can count on to help me out (and to remember to ask for help when I need it!).
I try and make a mental list of things to appreciate and be grateful for that at least equals or outnumbers the reasons to feel shi**y. I figure if I'm using energy in a negative way I at least owe it to myself to give equal attention to the positive. It helps restore balance.
I do yoga. I garden. I snuggle with our pooch. And doing something for and with my family. All things that connect me to the here and now. The easiest "fix" is to do something completely kind for someone who doesn't expect it. Pay for the coffee someone else ordered in front of me. Cut a few tulips to bring to the neighbour. Sneak into the neighbours house and give their dog an extra walk. Seeing someone else light up because YOU made it happen is very gratifying. It's a rush.
Lastly, in my experience, I have found that even the crappiest events or moments have some value so sometimes I just take a breath and let it be good enough that one day, I'll be better off having gone through it, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.
It's true what the others have posted, it's good to have hobbies or other interests to keep our minds busy and stimulated. Someone once told me, "an idle mind is the work of the devil." I think it's true to a certain degree. And, I also believe that thinking too much on one activity (adoption loss) can make one go crazy. Variety. 1. The outdoors - fresh air. 2. Animals are used for therapy/healing so - get a pet, they do a world of good! 3. Read both educating and junk literature, like the comic section in the journal. 4. Exercise, oxygen, endorphins, energy, vitality, confidence!
Thanks Linny for being brave enough to say so, It Is Confusing To Read This Way. !! :)
I understand what you're saying Sunny. Giving this individual the earnings of the doubt (not understanding who suggested this and what the circumstances have been), i might wish that they are insinuating that adoptees not unavoidably ignore issues that handed off to them, yet attempt to %. up the products and stay their lives with out being debilitated with the help of countless the negatives of adoption (which i'm particular a lot of you/us do in this board...Yahoo! solutions is no person's entire life i wish lol). returned, i wish they recommend something like the above and not basically the familiar "ignore approximately it" stuff. whilst i don't in my opinion experience any of the trauma at the instant, I understand that others DO and that i might in no way want everyone to experience like they ought to easily "ignore approximately" their emotions and the flaws that handed off to them in the event that they're nevertheless attempting to paintings by them. i've got self belief an identical (what I suggested above) is going for adoptive mothers and fathers. they're human. they are going to need issues that different human beings want (like little ones) and harm like different human beings harm. purely because of the fact they won't be able to have little ones does not abruptly lead them to not worth of the sympathy (from human beings on right here considering that society greater often than not has a tendency to area with them) that adoptees and birthparents get. If each physique on right here could desire to drop the "recover from it, ignore approximately it" attitudes greater often than not, then consistent with hazard we can be in a greater advantageous place. Sorry for rambling men...I purely needed to put in my 2 cents.
Very Good Question........ Unfortunately I don't have an answer for this one..... I myself , am in a very dark place, It doesn't come and go, It stays with me 24,7 . I watch alot of horror films and westerns , and I read alot of books about serial killers and the mid evil times... Im also a fan of the tv show criminal minds. Go figure,