Adoptees? How would you feel? Thinking about doing adoption w/my baby?

Your baby loves you and needs you.

In your heart, you know this.

Whatever financial difficulties *may* happen, they are temporary.

Adoption will damage you and your baby for life.

Please keep your baby. And please read these links over

Keep Your Baby

http://www.keepyourbaby.com/

Birthmothers Info

http://www.birthmothers.info/

Exiled Mothers

http://www.exiledmothers.com/

A child is a beautiful gift and I feel its yours and yours bf decision If you keep the child and the worse happens believe me ive been there you ll get through it and later in life you will look back on these times and they`ll seem like the good times in life even though they seem hard now Your child will love you 2 no mater what If it seems too hard instead of adoption look into letting someone take your child with parental rights that way when you get back on your feet you will be able to move your child back in with you about your job i know where you are coming from i live here in ohio I also know of a few good paying jobs here in north east ohio if you lose yours If you do get lay ed off contact me at sgood1103@yahoo.com and ill give you the Information Also if you decide to put the baby up for adoption that is your decision I hope it works out for you 3 good luck

I don't think you should give your baby up for adoption for the reasons listed above. Who is to say that the adoptive parents of the baby will not be laid off and face financial hardship at some time? There are many ways you can get help in order for you to keep your baby. Unemployment, food stamps, welfare, wic, etc are all options for you. If you really want to keep the baby and money is the only thing holding you back, keep the baby. You won't always be poor.

"My boyfriend and I really want to keep our baby."

Then why don't you? Adoption is a way to provide a home for unloved and unwanted children. It was not meant as a way for parents to give away a child due to finances. You've paid taxes and insurance premiums, right? You will again in the future. During this time of financial security, you have the right to the support you need to keep your baby. You will have many jobs over your lifetime, but babies are irreplacable.

"I cannot support a baby and myself on unemployment "

Who says you can't? Plus there is welfare to help. It is there to help families stay together, and families are seldom on it for most than a few yrs.

I would have to move back home with my parents, who already have younger children, and it wouldn't be fair to anyone in the house if I had to move back with a baby.

But would your parents ever get over the pain of having lost a grandchild to adoption? This trauma can, and often does, split up families. The grandparents and the parents of the baby often face irresolvable greif and pain, and it can break up families due to everyone blaming themselves and each other and not finding any way to deal with the pain.

"Then it will be too late to start the adoption process."

Is your child over 18 yr old? If not, then it is not too late. I mean, what is your rush? Why on earth do you think that being disembabied at birth is a good thing for either you or your child? It hurts no less than losing a baby or an older child to death.

"Am I over-reacting?"

Yes. It sounds like you are freaking out likely because of pregnancy hormones. Very normal and most women who are pregnant experience this "panic" as your hormonal levels change. This is when perfectly capable mothers fly off the hook and call adoption agencies, then they find they cannot back out of the "adoption plan" and keep their babies.

There is no reason to surrender a baby you love and want. Never mind the psychological/emotional consequences to yourself and to your child.

Adoptive families aren't immune to layoffs, loss of investments, foreclosure etc. Everyone can be affected by economic hard times so relinquishing isn't a guarantee of wealth or whatever.I wouldn't consider adoption just because you might or might not get laid off. A lot can happen, pretty much all of it temporary.

Also you aren't under any time constraint to make a decision. If someone led you to believe that, they lied. There is no such thing as "too late".

I would simply plan on parenting,take good care of yourself and your baby, and see how you feel after giving birth and parenting for a while. I don't imagine you will still be considering adoption at that time, but if you do, you can still choose to place.

I really don't think you should go the adoption route if that is the only thing that you are afraid of. Trust me, there are always ways to make things work, and if you want the baby and have a job right now, don't worry about it. So what if you have to move back in with your parents and have a baby, it's only temporary.

Right now, my husband and I are living with my parents and I am 8 months pregnant, we want to move out but I too live in mid-ohio and as you said the jobs are horrible here, so I am the only one really working and he is still looking for a job. It doesn't mean it will be this way forever, just for right now.

Don't give your baby up just because something MIGHT happen... you'll regret it later.

Wow, I am almost tooooo angry to even try to answer this or give any input. Your boyfriend was around to get you pregnant...but now seems to be gone at school when he should be there to support you during these difficult times. Do you have any idea how many children would have been placed up for adoption if every parent said they had to give their baby up because they were layed off of work? People are layed off of work every day. What are you going to do when you have to leave your job anyway to go on Maternity Leave for 6 weeks or more? Obviously this pregnancy was not something that was well planned and in the future you may think about this before having more kids.

There are going to be layoffs at any time. If you want the baby go ahead. And just start to put enough money in the bank for about 3 months food and bills so if you ever get laid off you would have time to look for a new job.

:)

You claim you want to keep the child, but yet are willing to give it up IF you get laid off? You do know there are many state and federal agencies that would assist you with the child? Talk to your parents, they probably would do anything for you and the baby regardless of what you think, I am betting they would not want their grandchild raised by strangers. If you really do not want to give the child up, I will guarantee you will regret the decision in no time. Although I am grateful for my adoptive parents and would not have wanted to live with my birth mother, there is a major difference in my case compared to yours, my birth mother wanted nothing to do with me, and I did get to meet her. Just keep your child and have faith that things will work out. It would not be driving you insane if it was the right decision.

Hi M~K,

IF you get layed off, before moving out of your home, file for unemployment and contact your local Dept of Social Services and Dept of Health and Human Services offices. Make an appointment. If there is no other income in the household, you and your baby will qualify for food stamps (WIC), medicaid, and possibly many other services. You will be covered throughout your pregnancy....your child will be covered from birth until you no longer need the service. All you have to do is keep your appointments and diligently seek other employment options. There is no reason to give up a child for financial reasons....and yes, I would be devastated if I learned that my mommy had given me to strangers solely because she lost her job.

<<Foster to adopt mommy

You are able and want to keep your child, so that's what you should do. I think any child would want their mother and father to do whatever they had to. If that means moving back in with your parents temporarily, that is not nearly as big of a deal as giving up your baby. Why is it not even on the table that your boyfriend delay finishing college if he has to? You are talking about your baby. You do whatever you have to. Adoption should be for children whose parent truly CAN'T support them (you can) or truly DON'T WANT or WON'T support them (you do want to and are willing).