Erin L

I caught about 20 minutes of an episode last night then couldn't watch anymore. In one of the few scenes I saw, the prospective adoptive parents had taken custody of the baby they hoped to adopt. They also had an older son. The "birth" mother was considering "changing her mind" about placing her baby for adoption. The adoptive parents knew this. They called her and put her on the phone with their little boy, about 5 years old, and the little boy told her he loved his new sister, she was beautiful, etc. The "birth" mother, of course, is sobbing. That's where I had to turn it off. Can we say coersion? Wow! Anyone else see this show?

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/22/89529...

My work is doing a Thanksgiving carry-in tomorrow. I am making corn pudding. Ingredients are corn, cream, sugar, eggs, and corn starch. What I want to do is mix it up tonight, put it in the fridge over night, and just put it in the oven and have it bake while I get ready in the morning. But, I don't know how letting it sit over night before cooking will affect it. Would it be okay? Would the corn starch still work right?

for people who celebrate Christmas that is. Just curious.

I am planning a Build-a-Bear party for my soon-to-be 6 yr. old, then going out for pizza. When asking questions of of the store on how they do parties, they said they ask parents to leave, except for birthday mom. How do I word that on invitations? The store is in the mall, so I was thinking of something like:

"Time: The bear making festivities will be from 3:00-4:00, so parents are free to enjoy some Christmas shopping time during this activity. At 4:00, we will head to ......"

I don't know if that is clear enough that parents WON'T be allowed. Ideas?

My sister is starting the IVF process, getting ready to start injections and feel crappy from all the hormones. I live across the country from her, but I'd like to send a little gift just to pamper her, make her feel better during this time. I was thinking a simple box of chocolates, which everyone likes when they're feeling hormonal, but I know her doctor has her on a fertility diet, so I don't know if she would/could eat that. Any other ideas? salon gift certificate? Is there something that would be really helpful/comforting that I'm not thinking of since I haven't been through it?

I recently heard about experiments being done with culturing meat. Labs have grown meat cells. They haven't grown actual tissue, and it isn't anywhere near the marketing stage yet, but the idea is that some day, we can get meat without having to raise and kill animals for it. The possible benefits are many. We could have a lot more food while using a lot less land. More land could be used to grow grain, which feeds a lot more people. We wouldn't have to cut down the worlds rain forests for cattle to graze. We could not have to kill animals for meat. I can't even remember all the benefits. And the result wouldn't be synthetic meat. It would be real meat. Real animal muscle tissue. It just wouldn't have come from an animal that had lived that we had killed. So, why does this seem a little disturbing to me? I don't have any rational reason for my emotional reaction to it.

What did you think of it? In the book, an adoptive mother discovers that her adoptive son's adoption was fraudulent. The "birthparents" who relinquished were not actually his biological parents but had actually kidnapped him from his biological family, who were searching for him. I won't give away how the adoptive mother deals with uncovering this, or how the situation turns out, but I actually have some questions about whether certain legal things in the book are accurate. So, once I get a few responses, I'll give a spoiler alert and ask a couple follow up questions.

My daughter is 5 and is planned to start Kindergarten in the fall. However, I'm considering delaying a year. She is very smart. In fact, she scored in the "talented" range on K readiness testing. However, her testing scores actually surprised me because, even though I know what she is capable of, I also know that she is very inconsistent in her performance on tasks, more inconsistent than typical. She is very inattentive and impulsive, so another year of a pre-school with a class of 12 with lots of small group activities may really benefit her. I'm afraid in a K class of 25 with a lot more whole class instruction, she just won't get it. Plus, she is scheduled to have a pretty big surgery this summer, and I expect some behavioral regression. Plus, without going into details, she has and will continue to have many difficult things in her life, so part of me just would really like to make sure she doesn't have academic struggles on top of everything else. I'm really torn. I'm afraid she'll be bored in another year of preschool and, and I'm afraid she won't be very successful in Kindergarten. Advice?

Yesterday, I was prescribed Clarythromycin for a sinusitis/bronchitis. I took my first dose last night with no problem. This morning, I took my second dose. About an hour after I took it, I felt dizzy, weak, and very hot - I thought I was going to faint. I just sat still for about a half hour and it passed. Then I felt very cold for a little bit. I'm fine now. I did NOT feel short of breath (well any more than I have been due to the bronchitis) or get a rash or anything, so I don't think it was a serious allergic reaction or anything. But, could my symptoms of have been from the clarythromycin, or just a weird thing that happened just maybe because I'm sick? I'm a little afraid to take another dose. I can't be feeling that way every time I take it.

I'm a teacher and the teachers and I on our "teaching team" exchange gifts each year. These are not expensive gifts. For instance, one of my co-workers gives $2 Christmas themed instant lottery tickets. It's enjoyed because it's fun to have the chance to win some money, but it's not "junk" that will just be thrown in with a pile of junk. So, that's the kind of thing I'm trying to come up with. I usually give homemade cookies, but I won't have time to get them done before our break this year. Any ideas?

For about 2 weeks, I have not had more than 4 hours of sleep/night. I fall asleep just fine. I'm exhausted by bedtime and can't stay awake as long as I'd like to to enjoy the evening after putting my 4 year old to bed. Then I fall asleep for 3-4 hours. Then I wake up and cannot go back to sleep. My mind just won't turn off. I do have anxiety in my life right now. Any suggestions for being able to get back asleep after waking up? I've tried the drug calms forte before going to bed. It does help anxiety and makes me even sleepier going to bed, but I still wake up and can't get back to sleep.

On a group for adoptive parents that I'm on, there's a family who recently adopted their child (internationally). They were told when they got the referral for their child that the child had cerebral palsy and vision differences. Now, those who have adopted internationally, know (or at least SHOULD know) that that could end up meaning a wide range of things and the adoptive parents just won't REALLY know the prognosis of the child until seeing the child and having a medical evaluation by a doctor they trust, and that they should be prepared for the gammet of possibilities. Now the new adoptive mother of this child has found out that this little boy's prognosis is that he will never walk or talk, and he is completely blind, and he is now in an intensive care unit with breathing problems. This is a very, very sick little boy. Now, however much any adoptive parent has prepared themselves, this would be completely overwhelming, terrifying, and sad for anyone. And of course this woman is completely beside herself. That's not my problem with her. Throughout her adoption process, she would say things to the effect that whatever this little boy needed, God would take care of him. ("God" also provided the money she begged from other people to be able to adopt!) Even now that he's critically ill and she has an accurate idea of his prognosis, she actually says she knows God will heal all of his medical problems! Prayers are the answer! Can this woman truly be ready to handle a child who will be dependent his whole lifetime, or deal with the possible reality of her child even dying very soon after she adopted him? I personally don't think so. Anyway, my question is, when you are talking to other adoptive parents and they express really unrealistic expectations, how do you respond? Calling them out doesn't work, just makes you the freak of the group and noone listens to you anymore. Gentler approaches I've found just kinda get ignored in the dozens of other responses that support the outrageous expectations. So, what can be done? anything? Oh, this family also has another child (also adopted) whose life is greatly affected by these unrealistic expectations - he'll now have parents completely consumed with the caretaking of his sibling.

Oh, this may sound like bashing "Christian" adoptive parents, but that's not what I'm trying to do. I've know very religious parents who've not had these kinds of unrealistic expectations and also those with unrealistic expectations that aren't connected to religion. It's just the case in this example.

My 4 year old really loves music - loves to listen to it, and loves to sing and play her toy musical instruments. She has good pitch and rhythm. I'm not musical (well, I never developed any musical talent anyway), but my brother plays guitar and is very musical, and he is impressed with his niece's musical aptitude. So, my question is, what are some things I can do to help foster her musical talent? I don't want anything too organized at her age to make it a job and not fun, just some ideas beyond what's just around at our home that, in an unstructured way, will provide ways for her to develop and enjoy her musical talent. And, at what age do you think any formal lessons would be appropriate. (I KNOW she'd hate that now.) For example, what age do most kids who play piano start lessons?

I've been reading the question and answers about adoptees not feeling supported or understood by their adoptive families when they are in reunion. I'm an adoptive parent, and our daughter's adoption is an international, semi-open adoption. It's very possible our daughter will be in reunion some day with her biological family. One answer to the question (Emma's) intrigued me. She received pressure from her adoptive family to maintain a relationship with a biological family member with whom she didn't want to. I guess my question is, as an adoptive parent, how do you strike a balance between offering support and not pressuring and giving space for it to be the adoptee's experience? I almost feel like I'd be more likely to be encouraging to the point of adding pressure than being unsupportive, but I don't want to do either. I honestly believe it's usually healthy for an adoptee to reunite, and I wouldn't want my daughter never to do it because she didn't know how to bring it up to us, but I don't want what I think is simply letting her know it's okay and I support it make her feel like she has to if she doesn't want to. If she were in reunion, I'd want her to be able to tell me anything she was feeling about it. But, I wouldn't want questions to make her feel like it wasn't her experience that I was trying to take it over. I also wouldn't want lack of questions or discussion to be taken as lack of support. Just thinking about navigating reunion as an adoptive parent. Any ideas of how to best support it without intruding or pressuring?

My daughter is almost 4. Her grandparents, who we visit about once a week, had 2 cats, whom my daughter loves. One of them had to be put to sleep a couple of months ago. Dd is very confused about what happened to the cat. She insists that she died because she ate too much and she always wants to know exactly where she is now. We showed her where she is buried. Now the other cat seems to be in kidney failure and may have to be put to sleep, also. My mom suggested dd be involved so that she can have a more literal understanding of what happened and not be confused. I kind of agree with this. I think it'll be very hard for my daughter if the other cat is just suddenly gone, too, and she doesn't see what's happened. However, I'm worried about her being involved, too. I don't want her to think that if she gets sick, she'll be "put to sleep", too. She has medical issues and is sick a lot, so she doesn't need any more anxiety related to that. Any advice on how to help my daughter for the cat's death?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/32618495#3...

We are in the process of choosing a new childcare provider for our daughter. I've narrowed it down to 2, whom I've interviewed thoroughly and am comfortable with. Now I'm checking out their references. Presumably, the names they've given me are people who will vouch for them. Can you think of any questions I might not be thinking of that could get at what real issues there might be for me.

My 3 year old daughter will no longer be going to the in-home day care provider that she has been going to for over 2 years after next week. The daycare provider has been wonderful and obviously a very signigicant person in my daughter, and our family's, life. I would like to get her a a "goodbye" gift. (Not that we'll never see her again, but it is the end of a specific special kind of relationship). Anyway, I need help thinking a gift appropriate for expressing our appreciation. Nothing horribly expensive, just considerate. Any ideas?