Pet death and 3 yr. old confusion?

My son was almost 3 when we had to put our dog down. She was 14 yrs old and had cancer and actually had a tumor that was visible to us. It started to bleed and it was just time to put her down.

We took my son with us to the vet so he could say goodbye. He just played with her and gave her cookies and obviously he didn't know what was going on. We told him that our dog was sick.

After the fact, he asked why we didn't have her with us when we walked in the door. I told him that she had cancer, and that cancer made her sick and she died. I told him that she's in Heaven (whether you believe or not, it's all I could come up with) and it worked well.

Everytime we drive by the vet, he says "OH, she's in Heaven". He actually thinks the vet is called Heaven. LOL. But he knows she's not here, it took a few weeks, but he's well aware. And we were all sad about it, but we explained it's okay to be sad and miss her. We have pictures up of her and we always go over and say hello.

We didn't tel him she was put to sleep. I didn't want him to have any fears of him sleeping and not waking up. I would avoid telling your daughter anything that could lead her to have a fear herself.

I wish you luck! It's hard to explain these things but I say be as honest as you can (age appropriate) and hope for the best.

Good luck!

It is going to be hard to explain death to a three year old. At that age they do not have a clear concept of death, and cannot see it as a permanent thing, they do not understand forever yet. Death is an abstract idea, and young child do not understand abstract concepts. A three year old cannot understand how something can be here one day, and no longer exist the next. Even involving her and allowing her to see the animal die will not make her totally understand what death is really about.

You can try explaining it in very simple physical terms such as, when someone/something dies their body stops working, the heart doesn't beat anymore, they no longer run and play, feel pain etc. You should AVOID euphemisms, do not say kitty went away, she is sleeping, etc(as it may cause the child to fear going to sleep or having people/animals go out).

You need to make it clear that the cat died and is not coming home(obviously more gentle than just saying that). You should also briefly tell your daughter why she died, for example, Kitty was ill, and her body couldn't work anymore. Make sure you tell the child that animals and people get sick in different ways and reassure her that a cold or flu will not make her die.

A three year old cannot grasp the permanence of death and therefore is going to be looking for the cats to come back. When this happens a simple reminder may be necessary, such as "remember Kitty died, and she can't come back". You can add any religious beliefs that your family has, such as Kitty went to Heaven, etc.

Weather you allow her to be with the cat while it is euthanize is a personal choice. It will not really help her understand death any better, since as I stated before, a child her age is not cognitively able to understand death. It would not matter how much you showed her, explained, etc she cannot grasp the concept, it would be like trying to teach a three year old advanced geometry(their brains are just not ready to understand something so complicated/abstract)

All animals are unpredictable, and so hence, you may finally end up with a bitten baby. all of the gerbils, hamsters, guinea pigs, ferrets, and rats can, and do bite. some greater advantageous than others and boy oh boy a bite from a hamster can harm for days! i could wait until eventually he's approximately 5 until eventually now getting a puppy. He could understand somewhat greater approximately a thank you to deal with a puppy and the thank you to be greater in charge. Reptiles are high priced to establish and save, so i could rather tutor myself until eventually now getting a one. possibly commencing off with a goldfish that he can help feed and sparkling the bowl could be sturdy. That way you at the instant are not apprehensive approximately bites.

We had a similar problem we have 2 daogs that ran away one was hit by a car and died b4 he got to the vet. i think bringing only 1 of our dogs home made it more confusing for our 2 1/2 year old daughter. we told her he got hurt and couldnt come home. after nerly 2 weeks of her asking "can daddy make ozzy better to come home now?" i tried to tell her about angles and stars that look down on us, i think it just confused her more. honestly at this age i think less info is better.

pets were the means that my brothers and i learned about life and death issues as children.

learning about death early could be helpful in the long run.

just explain that normally people don't get put to sleep because it costs too much to try so hard to keep a gravely sick pet alive.

people are supposed to be more important, so we try harder to help them.

my son knows his dads dog dies he is nearly four he says he is a star in the sky watching from heaven but he knows his ashes are on the mantle peice

Well dunno what age is best for children to learn about death but they got to learn it someday .

If you tell her about death now then the shock shouldn't be to great since she already seen the grave of the other cat

probably about 8 years old.

if you start her really early she might get upsett or cyring every day