Theresa

adopted from a state where adult adoptees have equal access to their birth certificates (Kansas), but who advocates for keeping birth certificates sealed in other states and actively lobbies against restored access?

What motivation do you think an adoptive parent like that would have, to consider her son's adopted peers somehow less worthy than him?

Someone on another question claimed that telling children they were adopted is a relatively "new" trend. To that I submit:

The Adopted Family, a guidebook for adoptive parents. Copyright 1951, revised 1965

https://www.box.net/shared/llirtkcppc

The Chosen Baby, copyright 1939

http://home.hiwaay.net/~msmarvin/The%20Chosen%20Ba...

An article came across the news today about adoptive parents in New Zealand pushing for legislation that would require open adoption agreements to be legally enforceable.

I was wondering if the people here would support legislation that required adoptive parents to honor open adoption agreements, and why hasn't similar legislation been proposed here in the US?

------------

Here is the text of the article:

Call to give birth parents contact rights under law

4:00AM Friday Aug 21, 2009

By Simon Collins

Adoptive parents are welcoming a call to rewrite New Zealand's 54-year-old adoption law - but say the most urgent need is to legislate for "open" adoptions where birth parents can keep in touch with their children.

Acting Principal Family Court Judge Paul von Dadelszen called this week for a review of the 1955 Adoption Act to remove discrimination against de facto and gay couples, who are currently barred from adopting.

But groups representing the country's dwindling numbers of adoptive parents said adoption was now so rare that they had had inquiries from only a handful of de facto and gay couples wanting to adopt.

Simon Kingham of the Adoption Option Trust in Christchurch said the biggest problem with the law was that it was written at a time when adoptions were "closed", meaning birth parents gave up all contact with their children.

Today virtually all adoptions are "open" and birth parents actually choose the adoptive parents for their babies - and stay in touch.

Dr Kingham and his wife, Sue, have an adopted girl aged 6 and a boy aged 4. Both children see not just each of their respective birth parents but also their birth grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

"So in terms of grandparents they have six lots of grandparents," Mrs Kingham said.

"For me, being brought up in an open adoption is no different from a blended family, you just have more people in your life to love you."

Not all adoptions are quite so open. Mrs Kingham said some birth parents still wanted to keep their babies secret and just occasionally receive photos.

But Dr Kingham said Child, Youth and Family's adoption service encouraged open adoptions and New Zealand led the world with them.

The only problem was that, because the law had not kept up with changed practice, birth parents had no legal rights to maintain contact with their children if the adoptive parents later tried to exclude them.

"The law needs to change to give biological parents some legal protection against people changing their minds," he said.

Adoptions have declined dramatically since 1955 as both solo parenting and abortion have become more socially acceptable.

Adoptions outside the birth parents' family rose from about 1000 a year in the mid-1950s to a peak of 2617 in 1968, but have plunged to fewer than 100 a year in most recent years. There were just 77 last year.

A group of Christchurch birth mothers are about to launch their own Birth Mums Support Network to support young mothers wanting to explore open adoption.

Michele Daly of the Auckland-based Open Adoption Network, a social support group for adoptive parents, said she had only 150 couples on her database nationally, 80 per cent of them in Auckland.

She said the group included at least one couple who married so that they could adopt, because of the Adoption Act's rule that only married couples or individuals can adopt.

The network also includes same-sex couples where one partner has adopted but the couples cannot adopt children together.

"My personal view is that the law needs to be changed so that it's a reflection of the society that we have today," she said.

But Catholic bishops yesterday expressed concern that the debate about the law was focusing on the rights of adults, with almost no reference to the rights of children.

Bishop Peter Cullinane of Palmerston North said the church wanted to protect the rights of children.

"We accept the view, held by many researchers, that a mother's and a father's love are different and complementary, and that a child has a right to both."

I'm curious if any adoptees have been disinherited or cut off from their adoptive families. Either by being left out of the will, being left less than others, or having family heirlooms or remembrances not passed on to them because adoptive relatives wanted to keep things "in the family"

Here's a good blog post about that. It's a few years old but in speaking with another disinherited adoptee recently, it make me think of this:

http://wraithswrealm.com/blog/2007/09/09/somewhere...

Here are the details for a new proposed television show. Do you think the Adoptee Rights Protest would be a good fit? What would you do to spread the word about this show?

The Challenge / Hook

The Problem must meet these requirements: A. That it be unique, something that surprises the audience. “I can’t believe that happens!” B. That it be something outside of the person or persons control. Whether societal or governmental, natural or man made, a solution to this problem must be out of their own personal or communal reach.

The Solution / Resolution

The solution or resolution of the challenge must meet two requirements:

A. One aspect of the project should be directly applied to relieving the problem in a straightforward fashion. See problem/fix problem. B. Another, equally important, aspect of the project should be entirely for purposes of pure joy. It should engender excitement and anticipation in the community resulting in a near ecstatic response upon its unveiling.

The Celebration

The two peoples (team and community) come together, celebrating the projects completion. The celebration should fit with the cultural and physical surroundings. It should have the feel of a grand extravaganza worthy of capping off all that preceded it.

I think that sounds like the protest! So there's a group if you think it sounds like a good episode for this show. You can see more at

http://www.imaginethistv.com/group/adopteesforchan...

I haven't heard about them in a long time. The front page of their website is still up, however almost none of the links work, especially the registration page.

http://www.adoption-free-search.org/

There's an adoptee I know who is quite desperately ill and doesn't have a lot of time or energy to be online. If anyone knows if this group is still around in another form, that would be a huge help.

Thanks!

Here's a two-part question. There are adoption search & reunion groups for every state, and several nationwide search groups and forums. These groups have hundreds of members, and some even have thousands.

The members of these groups all agree that sealed birth certificates are wrong and harmful. Why is it you think that there are thousands of people searching, yet not all get involved in writing their state legislators?

For me I think there were several reasons. After years of being told I didn't have the right to search, I was ungrateful, I could have been aborted so I should just shut up, and then being treated like dirt by the county court and vital records offices, I didn't believe I had the power to make a difference. Also I was shy and afraid of saying the wrong thing in my letters.

So here are the questions -

1.) What was it that made you take the jump into activism?

2.) What are some ways to motivate others to get them involved?

And what do you think about the new interim head, Chuck Johnson?

Do you think this could be the beginning of something new?

For more info:

http://bastardette.blogspot.com/2008/11/oldk-king-...

Have you ever heard of RegDay? If not, here's a brief one line description:

RegDay is an annual event to increase public awareness of the International Soundex Reunion Registry; a free humanitarian service better known as ISRR. ISRR is a non-profit mutual consent registry dedicated to reuniting adult family members separated by adoption, divorce, or other dislocation

From http://www.regday.org/

OK 3 questions ---

1.) Have you ever heard of this before?

2.) Have you ever staffed a RegDay table, or been someone who registered at a RegDay event? What was your experience like?

3.) This is the 14th Annual RegDay coming up. Both the number of sites and the attendance (I believe) are down this year because a lot of people are very busy with this election. Can you think of any ideas outside the usual TV/radio/newspaper/internet promotions to spread awareness and promote this event?

For state bills that are awaiting vote or referred to committee, the bill's website will list the sponsor, the co-sponsors and the multi-sponsors. Could someone please tell me the difference between a co-sponsor and a multi-sponsor?

Here's a sample of a NY bill

http://www.assembly.state.ny.us/leg/?bn=A02277

Thanks!

Check out this news story. On an empty stomach. It will make you sick.

http://www.nwcn.com/statenews/washington/stories/N...

How do you get to the point where any and every pregnant woman is fair game?

Heather's question yesterday on why do adoptees search:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ap8xK...

Made me think of another question.

Why is it acceptable for non-adopted people to spend money on genealogy searches, spend countless hours online and at archives pouring over old public records, and travel far distances to visit the graves or villages of relatives they've never met - but when adoptees do it, it's questioned?

Where does that double standard come from?

I'm wondering if anyone knew about high schools in the Torresdale section that people would have attended in the 1960's - private, Catholic and public. The ones I've come across so far are:

Nazareth Academy

Father Judge

Lincoln High School

Archbishop Ryan

Swenson Arts & Technology High School

Northeast

Holy Cross

St. Hubert's

Have I missed any? Are there any high schools that were open in the 1960's but have now closed? Thanks.

Lillie's question on age at adoption and desire to search

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtseK...

reminded me of something I've been curious about - adoption order and desire to search.

I've always wanted to search, while my adopted sister who came to our home four years later used to always state she never wanted to search.

My talking about searching during my teen years made my adoptive mother very uncomfortable. I wondered if perhaps my younger adoptive sister saw how uncomfortable it made her, and that shaped her opinions, as not to hurt our mother's feelings. One of her reasons she gave me once as to why she didn't want to search was not to hurt mom.

So any answers will have two parts:

a.) Have you searched/do you want to search?

b.) What was your place in the adoption order, i.e, only child, eldest, youngest, middle?

Thanks.

I’m curious how people would feel if they were contacted by someone claiming to be a relative who was surrendered for adoption?

How would you feel to find out about an older sibling you never knew of?

Or, how would you feel to find out your brother or sister had a child that was placed for adoption and you never knew about them?

Would you want to know them? How would you feel about them contacting you? What would you think about them being kept a secret all these years?

I can share a story; many years ago on an adoptee group I belonged to, I was emailed by someone who was looking for her natural father. He had the same name as my adoptive dad. Unfortunately it wasn’t a match. I would have been thrilled to know my dad’s daughter, but really sad and upset that she had been kept a secret from me.

How would you feel? Or, has this happened to you?

What is your opinion on this? All opinions welcome!

A formal public opinion survey was done in 1997 and 2002 on public perceptions towards adoption issues. One of the questions was regarding public attitudes towards adoption search and reunion.

The link below will allow you to vote on your opinion. Would you please consider taking the time to vote in this very informal survey and/or answer this question with your thoughts?

There are only three options, so please give your opinions in answers as well! Thanks so much!

http://www.opinionpower.com/Surveys/244047838.html

A 17 year old girl had a baby. The mother's parents had legal guardianship and were assisting her raising the baby. One day in school, she told her guidance counselor she was having stress. The guidance counselor arranged a meeting with an adoption agency the next day, and had the minor sign adoption papers without her parent's knowledge. The guidance counselor and adoption agency assisted the teenager in running away from home and hiding her whle she signed the papers. They then took the baby away and sold her for upwards of $10,000.

What do you think of this? All opinions welcome. For more information you can search the web at

http://blogsearch.google.com/blogsearch?hl=en&q=st...

to read more, but I'm curious on your thoughts. Was this an ethical adoption? Should a minor be able to sign a contract without their parent's knowledge or consent?