What kind of sick desperation is this?

ROTFLMAO!!! oh sweet JESUS!!!

a few things:

- the attorney who endorsed this behavior should be brought up on charges by the state bar... this is so unethical.

-how absolutely RUDE and IGNORANT to assume that simply because a young women isn't flossing "bling", nor have her arms wrapped around some dude that she has no intentions to parent her baby!

- talk about E.N.T.I.T.L.E.M.E.N.T.!!!

-what's next, roll up on someone and ask for their car? or house? or wife? simply because someone "wants one?"

-these people, the attorney and whole clan should be brought up on harassment charges.

- and what's up with these parents "going into hiding?" hell, if they are bold enough to scheme on some woman's baby, they should be able to defend their actions. for me, this is the biggest slap in the face. they had no problem offending this young lady, yet now that wish to "not return phone calls?" kiss my grits! they need to be exposed.

-"this is unfortunate" is that all dude can say? but you know what, he's right. it is unfortunate. unfortunate that we live in a society where people profit off the desperation of others; and attempt to normalize inappropriate behavior. homeboy probably does adoption work because he sucks as a trial lawyer, anyway.

and people wonder why newborns are tagged like "gucci pocket-books" in the hospital!! because there are loons like these in the world who think they are entitled to cross almost any line simply because they want a kid.

seriously, i wonder what the kid would think.. "hey junior, we got you from your birthmother we scoped out at IHOP!"

sick...sick...sick...sick...

ps. desperation is NOT an excuse for this crap. but it is a clear indication that one needs intensive therapy.

ETA: gersh...not only would i've thrown a drink...i probably would have followed her out to the parking lot and....

ETA: a few comments from the posters..

-i don't care if a pregnant woman was walking around in mis-matched socks with unkept hair... that doen't give someone the right to assume they are entitled to her kid.

-i don't think they were "simply getting the word out." for if that were the case, they would have given the card to several people in the diner. not just the pregnant woman.

-the intention might not have been "evil", but they sure as hell were unethical and inmoral.

-let me get this right... people think this is ok? so where does it end? maybe we should just print up cards to give out to women at the local daycare who look a bit "teethered." . or perhaps we should approach women buying their children's milk and cereal with wic coupons. or maybe...

WE SHOULD LEARN TO DEAL WITH OUR OWN SH1T, ACCEPT THAT INFERTILITY DOESN'T OFFER ONE A PASS TO BE SOCIALLY INAPPROPRIATE, NOT NORMALIZE THE BEHAVIOR OF FEELING ENTITILED TO OTHERS CHILDREN AND GROW THE FU*K UP!!!

i'm angry now. :(

ps. i'm so happy that many of the aparents i know (and those on the board) can see how inappropriate this is.

ETA again... NMmom: "I think the couple didn't intend to leave it for a pregnant woman it ended up that way. "--

ummm, wrong answer. they left the card in the BILL FOLDER ALONG WITH HER TIP!"--try it again. if you're going to defend baby trolls, at least don't attempt to insult our intelligence.

ETA3: sizemith.... allow me if you will to blow holes in your busted a$s logic. i often do not wear my wedding band (my hands have swollen to the size of rhode island), and i RARELY wear my wedding ring (i think it's somewhat pretentious to wear a ring that costs more than the annual income of the students/clients i work with), also, i have been known to go to the grocery store a bit teethered and will sometimes dress for comfort than fashion. i tend to also shop in thrift stores, flea markets, garage sales and co-ops because i feel somewhat guilty spending hundreds of dollars on clothing that some poor woman made in china for $2.00. so, by your logic, someone would be within their rights to approach me for my kid because i chose to wear a t-shirt and sweats i bought from the thrift store and not a designer outfit from pea in a pod? i tell you what, let someone approach me because of some "assumption based on my appearance" and they will find themselves picking themselves up from under the wheel of my BMW!

There are people and people and people. It takes all types to make the world. But this couple could have just been driven in thier anxiety and misguided by the attorney as a workable solution.

First and foremost media should project the ills of private adoption and the illegality of such adoptions through attorneys. In a way that couple has been encouraged by the attorney that such channels work and so they have had the guts or the confidence to approach you. How do you know that there arent women who have seriously considered this option, what about surrogate moms - talk about ethics..

Nevertheless i can understand how you feel - well it must have been quite a shock - hope you are better.

Very inappropriate. I can't believe that "business cards" is considered appropriate by some adoption agencies and adoption lawyers. It reminds me of that book "Fast Track to Adoption" mentioned a couple months ago. I'll bet this sort of tactic is listed in that book.

Still, desperation and advice from "experts" aside, there is something very inappropriate about this that should have resonated with the PAPs.

The couple that left the cards need serious help. i know, I was there once. I was infertile (well I am still infertile) and was a foster parent. I so in my heart felt like trying to talk a couple of these parents into giving me their child, knowing the abuse etc. but feeling something and DOING something are so different. I woudl NEVER approach anyone about adopting a child, in fact once I was approached by a cousin of a cousin, but said no because I would only do it if the child went through appropriate channels and avenues.

The real story for me here though is the lawyer. A business man preying on infertile couples desperation and have them prey on young pregnant women.

Ick.

To me it sounds like this couple in search of a child has more then just a few screws and other things loose. I mean c;mon who in their right mind would give up their baby if they read that. Not me even if I was desperately in need of funds hell no. That couple needs to go thru the proper channels for adoption not look at adopting a baby like a shopping for a used car. Thats what that reminds me of a car ad. How sad. I hope they dont ever get a chance to be parents I wouldnt want them as mine.

It's sad but true. Look at the stories that are in the news about pregnant women being attacked or worse for their babies.

I really don't understand that level of desparation that makes people think that it is acceptable to act this way.

Wow - that is just so wrong in so many ways, I don't think there are words.

One of the many reasons I think private adoptions through attorneys should be illegal. I think they are only illegal in Massachusetts (but could be out-of-date on that). I'm sure this method was on his list of "networking possibilities." PAPs going through private adoptions, doing their own "networking" are encouraged to approach everyone, write letters to everyone they've ever met. (Those who have adopted before are even encouraged to do "networking" through their child's mother). There's not even an attempt at educating these PAPs, just pushing them to "network."

And how horrible that this woman had to be put through this - what an insult to her. No ring/working as a waitress = I don't want my baby? What???

I am a PAP, and I don't understand how people can attempt to pass this behavior off. As a previous answer said, desperation is no excuse. I don't care who they are, they have to know somewhere inside how insulting, unethical and just plain wrong this is. The ends do not justify the means.

As the attorney says with the last sentence. This was unfortunate. Unfortunate indeed. Kind of pathetic really. I find myself between anger and sympathy. A rock and a hard place. I wonder how many other pregnant women they communicated with in that way.

I wouldn't ask another woman to give me her dog, or her husband, or her mother. I wouldn't ask her to give me her baby. There is no nice, or correct way to ask that.

Wait until a child has been given up (or taken away), and is truly in need of a home. Those are the only children that it's ok to try to adopt.

It's completely dispicable and it isn't an isolated freak desperate person. This is what adoptive parents are coached to do in private infant domestic adoption - market themselves. I just heard not long ago about a pap who asked people on an adoption forum if she should ask a pregnant teenage girl at church if she was planning on placing the baby or if she should ask the pastor if he would ask her. OMG, a pregnant young single woman can't even go to church without someone trying to get her baby!

The attorney representing the couple wishing to adopt certainly does not know what he is talking about when he mentions that they have not had any negative responses to "this method." Isn't Julie, the waitress that was offended by the card's method, a negative response?

How DARE these people go around leaving calling cards for pregnant women saying basically: We suspect that you don't want your baby...so, can we have it? Offensive!!