My little girl and I co slept when she was small and now I am having severe trouble getting her to sleep in her own bed. She wants to sleep in my bed or fall asleep in the stroller. I have tried to keep a bedtime routine but we live in an apartment and when I just keep putting her back into her bed she SCREAMS......It sounds quite a lot like I am beating her with a stick or something. I am at my wits end with this stuff and really need to figure out how to keep her in her bed. Even the days when she is put in her bed after she sleeps she generally wakes up around 11:30 and crawls into bed with me.
Any advice on how to get my child to sleep through the night in her own bed would be appreciated
Charley2010-05-05T04:25:01Z
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Hello, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment with your daughter because it sounds like you are in quite a difficult situation. First things first, I would set a bedtime for her, depending on her age, ie. say if she is about 4, I would say around 7pm is a good time to go to sleep. But how to get your daughter ready for bed would be for you to start an hour before the bedtime you chose, for example if you did pick 7pm then get her ready for bed at about 6pm. Before you start to get her ready for bed make sure she has had her tea. I think the aim should be to perhaps try to relax her a little, so try giving her a bubble bath, with some ducks or toys in the bath too, also make sure that you are always in the bathroom while she is in the bath though in case anything dangerous happens. After the bath dry her off with a nice, warm towel and then put some nice warm PJ's on her. Then perhaps give her a nice bedtime drink, perhaps milk, do NOT give her orange juice or anything that is going to keep her awake. Put her in her bed and you get in with her as well, and read her favourite story perhaps with pictures, and always make sure you point out words like 'cat' or 'dog' this will make her feel mature and grown up, that you are learning her key word for preschoolers and will also help her at school, because being read to can actually improve spelling and pronunciation. After the story book, she'll probably be quite sleepy, so give her a hug and a kiss, perhaps turn a little night light on, if she's afraid of the dark, this would comfort her, making it easier for her to get to sleep. Then walk out and carry on with your evening, perhaps watching television, make sure you relax as you are a mother and you deserve it. If she comes to you after you put her into bed, say to her calmly 'its your bedtime now, be a big girl and sleep in your grown up bed and go to sleep.' That will make her seem grown up and may agree to going to sleep as she will think she is being a 'big girl' doing this. If she keeps coming back to you, just walk her back to her bed, but after the 3rd time of her doing it, say nothing and just take her back to her own bed, you don't say anything because if you do then it'll seem as though you don't mind her keep coming to you. But, if she keeps screaming then just say calmly ' why are you screaming sweetheart?' She will respond with something like, 'because I want to sleep in your bed' Just answer her and say 'you have to be a big girl and sleep in your own bed.' But if you just cave in and let her sleep in your bed, this will keep continuing and before you know it you will have her sleeping with you forever. But, say if you go to bed and she tried getting in bed with you just keep taking her back to her bed. Or if you go up to bed and she has already helped herself to go in it without telling you and she is asleep, then lift her up carefully and take her to her own bed, be careful not to wake her though. And in the morning if she awakes in her own bed, then tell her that you are proud of her for being a big girl and sleeping in her own bed, perhaps praise her, ie. buy her some sweets or a little toy. But to be honest I think it shows kids responsibility to not sleep in their parents bed, which is actually quite common but at one stage they do need to break free of this habit. I hope I helped :)
I had this SAME problem (I even lived in an apartment at the time)! It's a very difficult thing to have to do, but there are several ways to go about it. Yes, she will scream, and yes, it will be very hard to listen to! I thought someone was going to call the cops on me one time! If you go to google, there are several articles and lots of advice on this subject. One way is to lay her in her bed, lay down with her and read a story. Then kiss her goodnight, walk out, close the door, and HOLD the door closed so she can't get out. This sounds cruel, I know, but a Doctor came up with this method. If you would like to email me, I would be happy to find some information for you and email it to you! kpmomma83@yahoo.com
First of all, prepare to have your ears and patience sorely tested!
I have used the 'silent return' method with all three of mine and will use the same with my youngest in around 3-4 months.
Do whatever is your usual bedtime routine and then prepare for 'battle'.
Shut the bedroom door once she's tucked in and wait outside it (the faster you can return the better).
Every time she gets out of bed you gently but firmly put her back and tuck her back in as best you can (I say that as at 2 they can be quite squirmy).
here are the bits that will mean it works quickly but it's hard;
-Do not make eye contact. -Do not talk to her other than to repeat 'come on now, bedtime' in a soothing voice. -If you can't be 'soothing' say nothing but gently and firmly return her to the bed. -Under no circumstances engage in a conversation. This is not mean, it's bedtime, stalling tactics will not be pandered to. -Do not show any outward signs of 'losing it' (even if you are). -Do not let her stay in bed with you 'just this once'. -Do not give in to her regardless of how loud and/or tantrumy she gets-it WILL work.
It may be loud, you may be outside the door for an inordinately long time to start with (the first day or so usually) but it WILL work.
If she gets up in the night then I'm afraid it's repeat the 'back to bed' procedure.
It's tough(on you) but effective, trust me-and I say that with 3 (10,5 & 4) who all go to bed & stay in bed-and have done since about 12-14 months old thanks to this method.
If you're worried about her reacting due to 'separation issues' as she was in with you for a long time then up her 'cuddle quota' before bedtime and during the day but in my experience bedtime problems usually come down to a good, old fashioned 'battle of wills' and if you want her in her bed sleeping through with no dramas (even in the summer when it's light out!) then this is one you're gonna have to win. Good luck!
Yes. Buy some earplugs and let her scream. Apologize to the neighbors in advance. I'm betting that after the second night she will stop - or soon thereafter. I hope you don't co-sleep with any other children you might have. Within the past six months I've read of two babies who died because they slept in the same bed with their parents. How tragic.
i agree with everyone else...let her scream. My "almost 3 year old" is the same. Some how she has it in her head that spiders will come eat her!! i have NEVER told her that so i assume shes had strange conversations at kindy. i have a latch on her door to keep her in, otherwise she jumps in bed with me or goes to watch telly at 3 in the morning!! im still having a bit of trouble but its getting easier every night!
i know i wasnt much help but thought i should let you know you are in no way alone!!!