every night I ask my husband what he is thinking.....he always replies nothing. I keep telling him that is not possible and he tells me he thinks of nothing all the time. Is this strange or am I the strange one since my mind is always reeling? Please state if you are a man or female also when you post. I would love to know if you can think of nothing. Thinking black walls does not count either!
2010-05-09T22:24:50Z
I actually asked if it was from avoidance and he said no. This is normal for him and he keeps telling me that it is not normal to think all the time. He is very smart and I wonder if that has to do with it but he says he actually does not think of anything and it is not to avoid me. I am posting this on a bet that more people continue to think instead of having no thoughts at all.
2010-05-09T22:30:21Z
I agree people do it when they meditate but he does it on the couch in the bed in the shower. We have been married 9 years and it is normal for him. He is a blunt person so if it was avoidance I would be told very abruptly.
Uncle Joe2010-05-09T22:52:23Z
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I'm a man, and I understand what your husband tells you. He is lying.
Actually, I'm not certain he is lying, but I strongly suspect he is lying. It's NOT an abusive and mean sort of lie that he is telling, but it probably is a lie. He probably has some minimally organized thought at the time you ask, and he is embarrassed to tell you exactly what he is thinking.
He doesn't want to say something that might make you think he is an idiot, so he won't say, "I was thinking about squirrels, and how they jump from branch to branch. That amazes me how they never fall." He also won't tell you that he is thinking something intimate about you, because you might think he is a pig for having such thoughts.
Another reason he might lie is that he just doesn't want to talk with you right then. He's your husband, so he knows you well enough to be fairly certain that if you ask a wide-open question like, "What are you thinking about?", you don't really care what's on his mind. He knows YOU are the one who is lying - maybe. He knows you are asking because you want to make yourself the thing that is on his mind. He might not want to talk if he just wants to sit there thinking about squirrels, motorcycles, how they get jelly AND cream in the same donut without popping the donut, or maybe just daydreaming about YOU without having to do anything with you.
Personally, I think that unless a person is almost asleep it is almost impossible to have nothing on his or her mind. Buddhist monks practice for years and years trying to have an empty mind during meditation, and they often don't succeed. It is well-known that what you claim is true. It's very difficult to think about NOTHING.
Personally, if I was married and had a wife who thinks as clearly as you seem to think, I'd probably like talking with her. I like that you pointed out that thinking about black walls is not the same as thinking nothing. You're probably interesting to talk with. Please understand that this is not a solicitation. I'm devoutly Roman Catholic, and I detest adultery, so that is not my intent. I'm just saying that you seem interesting to me.
You described yourself as having a mind that is "always reeling." I suspect you drive your husband nuts sometimes. He loves you though, so he doesn't tell you to shut up when you ask what's on his mind. His mind is not reeling, though, and he likes it that way sometimes, so he lies. I wouldn't lie. I'd say, "I don't want to talk now. Let's just snuggle instead."
If you really do want to talk with him, just say so, or ask him a question to which the answer can NOT be "nothing." I realize some men who read this probably will hate me for giving you this trick to use, but here it is: Ask your husband what he wants for supper.
The supper question will get his attention for sure. When he starts to answer, ask him for details. Ask if he wants the chicken on the grill or in the oven. Mention the last time you made chicken together. Ask if that was his favorite. He'll have to say yes or no, or he'll sound like an idiot, and he knows it. If he says "yes" ask "why." If he says "no", ask why. If you can't get a conversation going with your own husband by then, you just aren't trying.
Obviously, I had nothing on my mind when I read your question. Be nice to your husband, and let him be silent sometimes. If you just can't take the silence, and you don't like the supper question, try another trick. Ask him what the last thing was that he remembers having on his mind. You've got him with that one. He must remember SOMETHING he once thought about.
When your husband replies nothing MEANS he has no mood to talk, or maybe tired, or no more interesting in life need. I always think in the day time, at night very rare unless i have some thing up in my mind. Your husband is a Relax person. cool. My answer is yes, its possible when we have no problem and feeling tired
It is a confusing topic, but yes it is impossible. If you think about thinking nothing it does not work because you are thinking about it. It can also be like wearing clothes if you think about them then you feel them but if you just "zone out" you dont feel them but they are still there and it is the same with thinking. You may think you were not thinking but you really were and i am a man
Well sometimes I am actually thinking of nothing, and I catch myself thinking of nothing. Seriously. I think back on what i was thinking and I realize it was just that, nothing. Dust dozed off i guess, then again I have A.D.D. I guess.. OR maybe he is thinking of something but just doesn't want to say...