i been married for 6 yrs and my husband cheated on me a couple months ago, he said it was a mistake but i have no trust for him at all and the other woman called him the other day, he didn't tell me, i just found out. and i dont know what to think, its so hard i dnt know if i believe that he tells me the truth anymore, we have 3 young kids and iam worried about what it would do to them if i told him to leave. any advice?
KACEY K
Favorite Answer
The most blunt answer would be to leave him. But that is easier said than done. It is hard on you and the kids. If that is what you are going to do think about the ramifications and unfortunately money and everything else. Make sure you know what you want to do don't rush into it but don't take to long. Kids aren't any better in an unhappy marriage it affects them as much as a divorce can. Have you tried counseling unfortunately it is very hard to gain trust back after something like that happens but it is not impossible. Good luck i hope it all works out for the best
jaded
assuming you are mature people and he isnt some young guy who is tired of all this, some marriage counseling is in order. or, read relationship rescue, by dr phil mcgraw.
having 3 young kids means he comes last. with her he comes first. can you do the math?
next time her leaves the house, when he comes back have you and the kids and the house immaculate, and i mean clean clean clean, a meal on the table, and dont talk about the kids, ask him how his day went.
for more read, the proper care and feeding of husbands. by dr laura.
or, you can ignore this and be a poverty stricken single mother working the graveyard shift at dennys not knowing where or what you kids are doing. i dont care, but, i see hope here only if you act like a wife again. not a punisher or a jailer.
Ella
Have you ever told your husband how his affair made you feel?
That you lost your respect and trust in him?
How disappointed you are in him and not even sure if you want to continue being married to him?
And how he could throw you and the kids away just to get between some other woman's legs?
The wound is fresh, and the betrayal is beyond words.
And you have the kids to think about as well.
Not only do you need time for yourself to think things clearly, you also need a shoulder to lean on for support.
See a marriage counselor.
If you can't salvage your marriage, at least you'll have the emotional tools to help you get through the process.
Anonymous
I think it's very hard to save a marriage when someone's cheated. The most important thing in marriage, trust, has been destroyed. I think being married to him with those 3 kids will make things worse. That happened to my dad and it ruined him more then when they got divorced. If he didn't tell you about the phone call then obviously it's still an issue and he can't be trusted. You have done everything you can to make this marriage work and obviously it wasn't good enough...what more can you do. He is ungrateful and idiotic. Find someone who will treat you better. You deserve better. And so do your children.
"Anonymiss"
If he cheated, then leave him go. He not only betrayed YOU, but your marriage AND your children. To take him back and continue to "beat the dead horse" sort of speak is going to be stressful on the kids when they get older. They deserve better than that, they deserve a better committed and loyal father.