Is my husband oblivious or just doesn't care?
Here is the background: I have been married for over seven years with two children. Before I had children, I worked and was very active in film and just life in general. When I found out I was pregnant (I had very difficult pregnancies), I quit my job and then became a full time mom. After my babies were born, I had no support from grandparents nor a nanny to help me. The idea of hired help offended him. So I became supermomma-meaning I became a full time caregiver, housekeeper, chef, nurse/doctor, host during holidays to my not so welcome in-laws, and handy woman around the house. Now I am getting ready to go back to work (which in my field is not really easy to do) and would like to have my daughters (one is 5 whose birthday was 1 day off the cut off date for kindergarden and the other is 4) in preschool.
Here's the problem: For over a year and a half, I have talked with my husband that I would like the girls to be more active and be in preschool. Not only would they be making friends, learning, and be more active, but for once, I would get some help as mom for the first time! GO SELL YOUR CAR was my husband's response to me. Mind you we have some money, and I do not drive a fancy luxury car. He controls all the funds but only gives me an "allowence for family groceries and misc. needs."
He later gave me an apology but never made any attempts for the girls' schooling. I forgived him but could never forget. Month after month, I politetly and calmy attempt to bring up the importance of our daughters being in school. He simply says okay but THAT IS IT! All talk not action and refuses to sign papers for preschool. Now to top things off, we do not not have health insurance, and he refuses to have our kids covered due to the reason he "never had insurance growing up." Here's the probelm though, my girls have asthma and paying cash to see physicians is not cheap.
My spouse can fork up cash (I mean hundreds to thousands) for his company (he runs his own company) but not a dime for the kids. I NEVER ask anything for myself. My children, however,
ALWAYS come first.
Is he oblivious or does he just not give a dam*? Has anyone been through this experience before?
Am I alone? Help me out people! What the hell am I suppose to do?
BTW . . . marriage counseling is not an option because I have tried many times-found a good therapist and my sister would watch the girls-but he was very clear he was not going to go!
And yes Lizzie . . I am afraid to ask him for anything because he has lost his temper with me. Basically, if everyone thinks that he is not oblivious, then I am starting to feel enough is enough.
Eric-Just because I am a stay at home does not mean that I do not understand the economy or that things have slowed down for many people with jobs. But thank you so much for reading my question word for word.