Is it wrong to get a kitten right after your cat passes?
Today, I brought my cat to the vet and found out he had FeLV. Feline leukemia. 85% after expensive treatments still usually don't make it. Chemo is very expensive and I did not want my cat to suffer for another year just to pass anyway. I had him put to sleep. I can't stop crying and it hurts me so much, I had an easier time when my grandfather died. I was so close to me cat, he was the closest thing I had to a brother. My biggest regret is I didn't stay when he was put to sleep, an I just can't grasp he's really gone. I feel like if I get another kitten, I'm betraying him. HE was my cat. But I feel like I need something to sleep in my bed with, someone to comfort and cuddle with me. I just don't know. He was sick and could barley move, and we had him snuggled in a large laundry basket. This morning when I woke up he had climbed out and all the way down the hall and had climbed on my bed just to sleep with me. How can I ever replace that? Is it too soon? Does it make a bad person, to want to...replace him? I feel like I loose no matter what. What's wrong with me?
?2010-07-05T19:11:08Z
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Adriana, my heart goes out to you. I was just thinking the same thing today. My cat died last year at the age of 15 (years) and I am still grieving. I do have another cat and I love him so much, but that doesn't make me miss my other one any less. No two cats could have been more different. I cannot tell you when the right time will be. But...I think you will know, just like you knew it was time to let this one go. I think that when you have healed and your heart can open up again and love another kitty without having the feeling of guilt come inside - then it may be time
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I know it is very hard to lose a pet that you love. I have lost two cats in the last 10 years. One to FeLV like you, and one to a reaction to anesthesia on the operating table... The first one was only 2 years old, the second one, only 10 months old. Both were devastating. In my opinion, it can't hurt to get another one. When my first one died (had to be put to sleep as well) I had just gotten another cat a month before. The night Princess died, Sweet Pea slept beside me for the first time, her little body pressed up against mine, almost like she knew I was so sad. She was an incredible comfort to me and made me love her all the more.
The second cat (Bella) I lost a half year ago. I got her the day after Thanksgiving last year (9 months old). One month later she needed routine surgery and had a reaction to the anesthesia and died. Just like that. They had already called me and told me she came through it fine. They had to call me back an hour later, to tell me she had passed away. I still often think about her and miss her. I think she was the nicest cat I ever had, and the cuddliest, and one of the prettiest (I'm pretty sure she was Maine Coon, had all the little tufts at the tips of her paws and her ears, and long soft cuddly fur and she was growing like crazy. In that one month she grew like 3 lbs!)
I decided instead of getting another permanent cat at the time, to foster a cat. I think this was a really good choice in my situation and maybe this is something you might want to try. You could take the time to grieve your other cat if you felt you needed time to do that, but at the same time you would be giving a cat a stable home for a little while. Cats do so much better in a home than they do in a shelter, no matter how loving the shelter volunteers are, just because of the volume of other animals there. Your local shelter or Pet store would probably be able to point you in the right direction if you decided you wanted to try fostering.
I hope that you feel comforted and know that your cat is ok. You will always have a special place in your heart for that pet and nothing will change that. You did the right thing by having him put to sleep. You would not want him to suffer. You are the one suffering now and it's ok to be sad. But it's ok to want another one to comfort you too.
Since your cat had FeLV, then you should wait a little while to get another cat. The virus could still be in your home because of your old cat shedding the virus. Talk to your vet about the time frame, but I believe it is 3 months. After that, make sure to buy new everything, litterbox, food dishes, toys, beds. Throw the old stuff away, I know that sounds harsh, but you wouldn't want your new cat to catch anything. Once you choose your new kitty (hopefully from a shelter or very reputable breeder), make sure to always keep him UTD on his vaccines. Good luck, sorry for your loss.
No, it doesn't make you a bad person. Not at all. But, I do think you should deal with this death before you bring another cat into the house, because if you don't, you may end up really regretting your decision. You're going to miss your cat forever, and you did what you felt was best for him. I had to put one of my cats to sleep and I miss him every day, but I know that it was the best thing for him. I am so sorry for what you're going through, but it will get easier. You'll know when you're ready for a new best friend.
I know it's hard but I think it's best to wait. You don't really want to cuddle with just ANY cat, you want your cat back. Getting another kitten wouldn't be a betrayal, nor would it make you a bad person, it just won't fix the real problem.
Besides, when you do get another cat don't you want it to be a happy thing? You want to wait until you're excited to pick out a new friend, not try to find a surrogate for the one you are really missing.
It's extremely hard to lose a pet. Trust me, I know, I've lost so many. In fact my childhood cat just died. But a new cat won't replace your old cat. He/she will have an entirely different personality for you to get to know and love. Just wait for when you're ready to do that.