I'm just curious here. I've been noticing a lot of moms who don't use the CIO method having problems getting their little ones to sleep through the night at 4 months and older. The other day there was someone saying that her one-year-old still wasn't sleeping through the night.
I used the cry-it-out method with my daughter, and she was sleeping through the night every night before three months old. Most moms that I know (real-life friends, not on here) also use the CIO method, and their children have slept through the night from a young age as well.
Is this just a fluke, or do CIO babies really start sleeping through the night earlier? Tell me what you did, and when yours started sleeping through the night!
2010-07-08T11:05:32Z
So, I was just going to ignore all the unsolicited "advice," "how-tos," the comments about "experts" and such (note I never claimed to be an expert), but I truly don't understand the person who posted a poem about a ghetto. Are you trying to insult me, or just had nothing to say?
I don't ignore or neglect my child, nor do I condone ignoring or neglecting children, and I certainly don't live in the ghetto.
The question was "What method did you use, and when did your baby sleep through the night?" not "What method did you use, and why does it make you better than every mother out there?"
2010-07-09T14:50:17Z
Look at all the thumbs-down, and people quoting me when I say that I don't ignore or neglect my child! I find it ironic that all of these people, who are so quick to offer their opinions on controversial issues (even when the question is asked as a poll rather than a debate), ignore the questions that might actually make a difference. Do you they honestly believe that their answers on this site are going to change someone's entire parenting strategy? Of course not. But it might help a mom decide if their child is sick enough to take to a doctor. or to let a mom know if a child's age is appropriate for a certain food. But those questions get one or two answers at most.
This just proves to me that these women get more satisfaction out of attempting to force their opinions on others than actually doing some good.
To clarify for all these instigators: I would let my daughter cry for fifteen minutes before I checked on her at bedtime if I knew she was fed, warm, and clean.
Anonymous2010-07-08T11:08:05Z
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LOL!! I love how this question has like 18 answers already, and it was only asked 2 minutes ago. OYE!! I use the cry it out method as well, and yes, it does work. And NO it is not cruel, as long as you are not far from your baby. XOXO
You may not realize but CIO is not recommended for babies under 6 months old (see the link I provided below)...that is the age defined by Dr Ferber who basically is considered the founder of CIO. Also many moms don't see not sleeping through the night as a problem. I know I never did - I just expected waking. They are babies & as such it takes them time to hit certain milestones. No child or adult sleeps through the night anyway - we all have sleep & wake cycles. In adults & older children we just don't recall the waking, but it happens. It is how we switch from one side to the other while laying, etc. CIO/Ferberizing doesn't ensure a child is sleeping it just ensures that they have given up on having their cries responded to, so they are less likely to cry if they wake, which also doesn't mean they are self soothing, it just means they aren't reaching out. Even Dr. Ferber who developed the concept of CIO doesn't recommend using it until 6 months at the earliest & says it is most effective for those 8-10 months old.
Overall though - you can read this if you are curious as to how CIO compares to non-CIO options. http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html Overall it shows in studies that crying methods don't work any better than than non crying methods & if given an option I would always choose a method that doesn't involve my child crying. In that link you will also see that studies that support CIO are done on children who started CIO at 12 months of age & older. There are no studies I have found to support CIO in infants.
I won't get into what I have done or did do & when my kids quit waking me at night as I find it irrelevant. All children are different & some are sleep more or less than others no matter what you do. I will say that I have birthed two & raised two others that weren't mine (they are grown now) and doing the same thing with all 4 produces very different success rates many times. My youngest is a real sleeper & is 4 months. I didn't do that - he came that way. My niece's new baby started sleeping in 6 hr stretches at 4 weeks & by 2 months slept 10 hrs stretches on occasion...and she never did anything special (she lived with me at that time, so I observed that she did nothing unusual or scheduled to make that happen). I don't see CIO as magical or effective honestly. Most babies will quit crying if the cries aren't answered whether that is at 2am or 2pm. Crying is how they communicate & if no one responds you learn communicating your wants/needs is ineffective or pointless.
It depends on the kid. Some kids don't respond well to CIO. And some will say that if you do it "right" it will work every time. But I don't agree. We have done it with two of our three kids. The first time it worked like a charm. This little guy, not so much. He doesn't get the hint, even at almost 9 months, he wakes up and fusses for anywhere between 2 and 15 minutes at night. We did CIO at 7 months. So it has been two months and he very seldomly sleeps right through. I don't get up with him (just go in and pat his back for a second to let him know I am there) and haven't since 7 months. But I feel like a horrible mother for letting him fuss and cry for such a long period of time at night (meaning almost 2 months, not that 2 or 15 minutes is long). He just didn't respond like they "the experts" say he would.
I have to say though, I wouldn't do it before around 5-6 months. That is my own personal thing. I just couldn't handle letting a baby that young cry. When they might be hungry or seeking comfort. As they get older, they can handle the feelings of frustration and I feel less like they are crying out of need than out of habit. (That is not a bash on those who do it earlier...just saying my own opinion on the matter).
Actually, most experts recommend that you not allow babies to CIO until at least 6 months of age, but if you had success at a younger age, good for you. I let my son CIO around 7 months because he was waking to nurse every 1-2 hours overnight, and his pediatrician assured me that he could go at least 6 hours overnight without needing to eat, so if he cried before it had been 6 hours, I let him CIO (it took about a week). Even after that, however, he didn't sleep through the night -- he still work once a night (around 3-4 AM) to nurse until I weaned him at 14 months, at which time he began sleeping 12 hours overnight.
Sorry, but that's what forcing a three month old to CIO is doing. You can kid yourself all you want to make yourself feel better about what you did but the fact of the matter is even the strong supporters of this "method" do not recommend it until at least 6 months in age. And of course a baby that is repeatedly left to CIO is going to eventually give up and go to sleep. Mommy isn't coming for them so what is the point in crying any longer?
I never used this method with my son and he was consistently sleeping through at 4 months. I rocked him to sleep every night and he still managed to start sleeping through fairly early. For me being a parent doesn't end when you want your child to go to sleep, it's a 24/7 job.