To cry-it-out, or not to cry-it-out?

LOL!! I love how this question has like 18 answers already, and it was only asked 2 minutes ago. OYE!! I use the cry it out method as well, and yes, it does work. And NO it is not cruel, as long as you are not far from your baby.

XOXO

You may not realize but CIO is not recommended for babies under 6 months old (see the link I provided below)...that is the age defined by Dr Ferber who basically is considered the founder of CIO.

Also many moms don't see not sleeping through the night as a problem. I know I never did - I just expected waking. They are babies & as such it takes them time to hit certain milestones. No child or adult sleeps through the night anyway - we all have sleep & wake cycles. In adults & older children we just don't recall the waking, but it happens. It is how we switch from one side to the other while laying, etc. CIO/Ferberizing doesn't ensure a child is sleeping it just ensures that they have given up on having their cries responded to, so they are less likely to cry if they wake, which also doesn't mean they are self soothing, it just means they aren't reaching out. Even Dr. Ferber who developed the concept of CIO doesn't recommend using it until 6 months at the earliest & says it is most effective for those 8-10 months old.

Overall though - you can read this if you are curious as to how CIO compares to non-CIO options. http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html Overall it shows in studies that crying methods don't work any better than than non crying methods & if given an option I would always choose a method that doesn't involve my child crying. In that link you will also see that studies that support CIO are done on children who started CIO at 12 months of age & older. There are no studies I have found to support CIO in infants.

I won't get into what I have done or did do & when my kids quit waking me at night as I find it irrelevant. All children are different & some are sleep more or less than others no matter what you do. I will say that I have birthed two & raised two others that weren't mine (they are grown now) and doing the same thing with all 4 produces very different success rates many times. My youngest is a real sleeper & is 4 months. I didn't do that - he came that way. My niece's new baby started sleeping in 6 hr stretches at 4 weeks & by 2 months slept 10 hrs stretches on occasion...and she never did anything special (she lived with me at that time, so I observed that she did nothing unusual or scheduled to make that happen). I don't see CIO as magical or effective honestly. Most babies will quit crying if the cries aren't answered whether that is at 2am or 2pm. Crying is how they communicate & if no one responds you learn communicating your wants/needs is ineffective or pointless.

It depends on the kid. Some kids don't respond well to CIO. And some will say that if you do it "right" it will work every time. But I don't agree. We have done it with two of our three kids. The first time it worked like a charm. This little guy, not so much. He doesn't get the hint, even at almost 9 months, he wakes up and fusses for anywhere between 2 and 15 minutes at night. We did CIO at 7 months. So it has been two months and he very seldomly sleeps right through. I don't get up with him (just go in and pat his back for a second to let him know I am there) and haven't since 7 months. But I feel like a horrible mother for letting him fuss and cry for such a long period of time at night (meaning almost 2 months, not that 2 or 15 minutes is long). He just didn't respond like they "the experts" say he would.

I have to say though, I wouldn't do it before around 5-6 months. That is my own personal thing. I just couldn't handle letting a baby that young cry. When they might be hungry or seeking comfort. As they get older, they can handle the feelings of frustration and I feel less like they are crying out of need than out of habit. (That is not a bash on those who do it earlier...just saying my own opinion on the matter).

Actually, most experts recommend that you not allow babies to CIO until at least 6 months of age, but if you had success at a younger age, good for you. I let my son CIO around 7 months because he was waking to nurse every 1-2 hours overnight, and his pediatrician assured me that he could go at least 6 hours overnight without needing to eat, so if he cried before it had been 6 hours, I let him CIO (it took about a week). Even after that, however, he didn't sleep through the night -- he still work once a night (around 3-4 AM) to nurse until I weaned him at 14 months, at which time he began sleeping 12 hours overnight.

Lol...

"I don't ignore or neglect my child"

Sorry, but that's what forcing a three month old to CIO is doing. You can kid yourself all you want to make yourself feel better about what you did but the fact of the matter is even the strong supporters of this "method" do not recommend it until at least 6 months in age. And of course a baby that is repeatedly left to CIO is going to eventually give up and go to sleep. Mommy isn't coming for them so what is the point in crying any longer?

I never used this method with my son and he was consistently sleeping through at 4 months. I rocked him to sleep every night and he still managed to start sleeping through fairly early. For me being a parent doesn't end when you want your child to go to sleep, it's a 24/7 job.

We didn't use a CIO method and my daughter was sleeping through the night a few times a week at 4 months and regularly by 6 months.

The question was "What method did you use, and when did your baby sleep through the night?" not "What method did you use, and why does it make you better than every mother out there?"

OK to answer your question, my "method" was (and still is) soothing my baby to a drowsy state and then putting her in her crib half asleep. We use sleep cues like a bedtime routine, white noise machine, and a consistent early bedtime (7pm-ish). We also nap her regularly (about every 1.5-3 hours). If she cries, either her dad or I respond immediately. Never CIO.

She started sleeping 10-12 hours straight at 4 months old, going strong at 6.5 months now. (Previous to 4 months old, we co-slept and she would wake up once or twice to nurse and fall back asleep immediately after.)

lol, it's an elvis song! "in the ghetto" by elvis.

my 17 month old is -- gasp! -- not sleeping through the night! holy balls! to me, crying it out is ignoring their needs, I don't define it any other way. if you use the CIO method, you're using a method. when my baby cries, I answer his cries and I meet his needs. I don't think not sleeping through the night is a problem and I'm just fine with letting him tell me when he needs to eat -- like he does during the day -- throughout the night and obliging his needs.

so to answer your question, I nurse my baby at night when he wakes up and he hasn't slept through the night yet. CIO babies sleep through the night sooner because they wake up and realize their mother isn't coming for them so they relent and just sleep. you used CIO on a 3 month old? that's not okay.

I guess they do start sleeping through the night earlier cause they really don't have much of a choice when mothers only give them the option to cry or fall asleep. I didn't use the CIO method & my son didn't start sleeping through the night until 10 months but I did everything I could as a mother to help him sleep, rock him, sing to him, warm bath etc..

Okay, MY opinion of CIO is that babies sleep through the night because they learn that crying doesn't do anything, but rather that they're being ignored.

And i'm sorry, but if you were doing CIO on your NEWBORN then yes you were ignoring and neglecting her.

My daughter is 18 months... does she sleep through the night? Nope. But i'm not gonna rush her, or leave her sobbing, i'm gonna wait until SHE is ready. Like someone else said, i'd much rather go without a full night's sleep over letting my daughter cry herself to sleep. I've cried myself to sleep many times in my life, it's horrible! Why would I do that to my daughter?

And as for K's response.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ox1Tore9nw

CIO "experts" do not advocate using that method prior to 6 months.

I did not use CIO and my son began sleeping 12 hours at night at about 3 months. I didn't have to do anything...they sleep through the night when the are ready to...

EDIT: Not suggesting that you are a CIO expert...by expert I mean those professionals (doctors, writers of baby care books, etc.) who recommend the CIO method.