So i found out today that i am pregnant. the father of my baby is my boyfriend who is two years older than me. i dont know what to do! i do not want to give it up for adoption because even though i am young it is still my child. i dont know what i have to do. i told my boyfriend and he told me he want to keep it.. what should i do?!? should i get married?! and can i get expelled from school for being pregnant? i am in a private school and studens get expulsed all the time for stupid things... i would never abort but should i consider it? please please help mee!
SAWDUST2010-08-09T02:27:32Z
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You really haven't left yourself any options. Whether you know it or not, you've already decided to keep the baby. You don't want adoption. You don't want abortion. Your boyfriend wants to keep it. You, naturally, love him at this point and will do anything he says. So, it's pretty much a done deal ! But take it from one who knows, if you haven't been watching that young mother's reality show on MTV or VH1 that shows the life of 5 prego teens who have just become mommies and have now come to realize the uselessness of a "baby's daddy", you should reconsider throwing your life away, a life you will NEVER, EVER get back once you make the decision to keep the child. No "time out" in the world will fix what's about to happen to you for the next 18-21 years of your life. And your parents are going to flip! You do know this, right? But because they love you, they'll get over it, IF they like the boyfriend. If they don't, you've got other problems. If they're Christians who follow THE WORD (The Bible), they'll encourage you to keep the baby. If they haven't abided by every rule according to God's way, they'll probably force you to abort to SAVE YOUR LIFE FROM RUIN ! And I wouldn't blame them. However, you have to live with the decision, whatever it is. So, you should really be the one who makes the final choice. Because when you look back years from now, and your find yourself hating your life, you're going to want to blame someone for your unhappiness, down the road. If you make the decision ALONE, you'll only have yourself to blame. Right now, you've got 7 items to prep for in the next 6 months: #1) a job after school and Saturdays @ $200p/wk (companies are always looking for students to hire for less money than adults); #2) a bank account @ $100p/wk (in your name only) to deposit half your payday; #3) a child education fund @ $50p/wk - half of payday left over (until child turns 19 and going to college); #4) an apartment @ $1500 x 3 months = $4500 in advance, then $1500p/mo after that (in your name only to avoid baby daddy drama later when you put him out on visiting days for acting up or becoming abusive; don't ever live together); #5) an envelope in your dresser drawer (never tell anyone) to hold $25p/wk for bills: light, gas, telephone, food; #6) the final $25p/wk to afford lunch at work @ $4.00p/day: an apple, granola bar, OJ to keep baby healthy. Supermarkets have sales on fruits in a bag, trail mixes and juices by the 12pack; #7) Pre-natal care is essential to a healthy baby delivery. You need the vitamins from the FREE clinic as soon as possible. Get to one this week for your first real check-up. Show your parents or guardian you can be responsible and make wise choices like an adult if you want them to trust that you can do "baby" life. Make sure they nor the baby ever see arguments between you and boyfriend. Calm discussion is key. If you start now, you will have all the money you need to begin a life as an independent in 7 months. That's well ahead of birth day of baby. Maybe parents will donate furniture from their home and buy a crib as a gift. It's a long, hard road. If you choose to travel it, you'll find moments of joy, sadness, depression, anger, self-pity, overwhelming, fear, impatience and maybe even hatred and regret. But you'll get through it if you stay on your knees in prayer. It's the only thing to get you through, night or day, especially when no one's around to help. God is always there. Remember that, 'cause you're gonna need Him more than you've ever needed anyone in your life. Just say, Lord, help me. I can't do this without you. He'll be there to supply your strength. Just open your heart to receive His help and surrender at the moment you feel broken. You'll know when it is. Good luck and God bless!
Well, I'm not a religious person, but personally, I would NOT abort.
How do you honestly feel?
I mean, do you feel any kind of love inside you towards the baby? If so, that's a sign to keep the baby.
Some young girls give up their baby to their parents. This way you can still be near your baby and continue your life in school.
The school will probably expel you, which is stupid. But that's the way schools are. They feel sex and pregnancy is a bad influence.
At 16, you should have been more concerned with getting your education before having sex. And if you were having sex, you should have been more careful.
So you'll probably have to home school until the baby comes.
I would NOT tell the school until people start to notice a weight gain. It'll start to show up between 18-24 weeks, depending on your size.
Then when they find out, well, obviously, you'll just finish home school for that year.
Then after the baby comes, have your parents 'adopt' or take care of the baby and tell them you want to finish high school so you can have your diploma. Tell your parents you want to be able to take care of your baby, but need to finish school first.
Do NOT get married at such a young age. You'll regret it later in life.
You'll realize this when you get older. You'll realize that your 'true love' will show up when you get older.
Alot of people make that mistake of marrying at a young age. I'm SO glad I waited until I got older.
Good luck to you. I hope everything works out for you.
Well if you give it up to ur parents, u wont be able to bond properly with it. Newborns need their Mummies there with there for like the first 3 months. All I can say is that I hope the orgasm is worth it, its great that you have a bf who wants to keep it and is willing to stick by you...but now you have to realise that this is the boy/man you WILL have to spend the rest of ur life with-get married, house and now there is a baby involved.
Also you will have very saggy breasts, a wobbly belly if u have C-sec or a loose vagina if u have a natural birth. So sex will not be fun anymore. Shame.
I suggest you talk to your parents first, they should be able to help you with some advice. You'll probably be expelled, private schools can do just about whatever they want(<---expelled for wearing earrings in my second piercing). Also, try and seek some counsel with someone qualified to help you weigh ALL of your options. I'm not sure how much help I could be but I'm willing to talk to you if you need anything.
Well, I think you're brave for deciding to keep it. marriage is not necessary and definitely should not be rushed into whatever the circumstances ma be. Most schools will not expel students for being pregnant. You should not keep the secret from your parents very long because they can be the best advice-givers at times like these.