why is my wife insensitive to my feelings and needs?

Question

ok its a long story but to summarize...
  I met my wife of 5 years in janruary of 2005 at one of my first jobs. She was going through a strange situation and had to move from her hometown, tolive with a sister who lived near my hometown. Well, there was this guy Mike and he had uprooted her for whatever reason and they drove around the US, i mean from pennsylvania to florida across the country stopping in arizona where things went sour. none the less she ended up working with me and we had an awesome friendship. she would take me to work and bring me home everyday and things kinda clicked. well this guy moved out with her and our friendship came to a halt. he ended up going to jail and she basically abandoned everything she had established to go back to her hometown. I bawled my heart out to her begging her to stay and to no avail it didnt happen. she left. maybe 2 weeks later she came back and i get a call from a very good friend of hers to find out she is on the other line with us(3 way call). I was austonished she came back and i made it a point to do what i needed to keep her around. at 18 years old i got a 4000 loan and we moved in together. Things were ok but not perfect, we were still "friends." no relationship but we did sleep in the same bed as well as have relations. We worked different schedules at the time and the next morning as i was taking her to work she dropped a bomb on me. Mike was coming to stay with us.
I was heart broken. but none the less i stressed my emotions and he only stayed for the night. Now her and her Ex prior to mike (jason) were in an constantly up and down relationship, he beat her literally beat the hell out of her on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS. ok none the less i dont know all of the details to that relationship but the past is the past.
 we got engaged and we due to be married that year, thinking it would all sort itself out and all would be well. It the past 4 years we have had issues with trust due to these series of things. She tried contacting jason via postal mail and i found out. We found out she was pregnant and i thought the b.s. would all stop. the same year all of this happened i had to work 4th of july weekend so we agreed she could come back to her hometown with the sister to visit her family for the weekend. I WENT ALL OUT... i mean rose petals scattered from the door to the bedroom, i took a who tablet of construction paper and cut out hearts to go along with the rose petals. i bought a dozen roses to lay on the bed as well as a movie i thought she mite like and a card.  No more than 2 hours after her arrival she tells me she wants it to be over, she wants to move back home and i could stay out in my hometown work save money so on so on...now then we "sorted it out" and decided to stay out there and things were good 4 a few months. An old picture of jason was found in her wallet and i decided to ask her to get rid of it. she said she did. i found out she lied. again she tells me she got rid of it, and agaian she lied. so one nite were sittin in the ER because of some pregnancy issues and i fouund the pic again. as we left and are driving down the road she takes these pieces of the picture and throws them out of the car window... It made me feel good... well none the less i found out she ripped his face out and kept it hidden but threw the rest out the window. Well to shorten the post we have been dealing with different situations such as looking him up on the net, looking  at his fiancees myspace/facebook, and more attempts of postal contact.  We moved out here about 3 years ago and have not really had any physical issues, by that i mean actual physical contact. or so she claims. and i have never had any proof to verify otherwise. but not only have we been living here we have not had the most fruitful financial situation. so therefor i cannot just go visit my family anytime i want, btw we live on her other sisters property.
.we ended up moving to north carolina about 2 years ago to try living down there closer to my family and whatnot. well my mom who is a manager at a very well known electronics store got her a job there and on the day of her last interview she decides she dosn't want to stay... we packed up and left. I actually ended up moving back down there for 2 motnhs and missed out on christmas with my kids that year. i came back in janruary tho and we were doing really really well...  I have now been layed off for almost a year and we have 3 beautiful baby boys, 4 years 2 years and 10 months...  Just a month ago i found out about the facebook thing and she was looking at jasons fiancees pictures. i lashed out and spoke up about it. (NEVER PHYSICALLY ABUSED HER or layed a hand on her like that for that matter)well she says sorry i was just being nosy so on so... just a few days ago the same thing, her face book... Well after 5 years i finally got a tidbit of information (which i already knew). She said flat out there is a piece o

? · Accepted Answer

Since Febuary 2010, I have been executing a business but the cash was not forth coming. Main while, I have already collected some money from two of my friends on the ground that i will pay back soon. I collected $12,000usd from one and the other $18,000usd. It got to a point that money became a problem and I was short of cash. My cousin told me about one lender called Mr. Davidson that he paid no fee to him before getting the loan. I contacted him and told him the problems I was facing and ask for a loan of $280,000usd. He called me and said that i should pray against the spirit of lost that he will also pray for God`s favours for me before sending the $280,000usd to me but that I will have to agree to his terms and conditions. I committed the matter to God hands and decreed an end to every lost of business. Three days later my loan of $280,000usd was deposited to my account by Mr. Davidson Loan Firm, he sent me an email that favour will come my way, I went to return the $12,000usd I collected from my friend, he returned $2,000usd to me as a gift but I refuse it on the ground that I have delayed his money. I then remember that I miss it all because Mr. Davidson Whyte said that he has prayed for God`s favour for me. I went to return the $18,000usd given to me by my other friend he collected $15,000usd and gave me $3,000usd and said that I should use it to boost my business. I have not recovered from the shock when an elderly friend called me and told he wanted to sell some materials off. But since I needed them for my business, he said I should go get a van to carry them free of charge. Mr. Davidson is not only a loan lender but a man of God. You can contact him via. davidsonloanfirm92@gmail.com tell him Mrs Reyes from Indianapolis USA directed

Cooker · Answer

Some of it makes no sense time-wise to me--like how did you end up with 3 kids?  And HOW did you get a loan at 18 for $4K without a co-signer.  

BOTH of you sound incredibly young and immature and poor examples for your kids.  Not sure anyone here can help you out of this mess but you.

Oh, brilliant. -_- · Answer

My opinion is you should really stop being with this woman, she sounds like she's hung up on her past and this Jason guy is all she wants. I would understand it being curiosity if it was once or twice but she looked him up all the time, doesn't that give you a clue of who she wants? Do you really want this drama for the rest of your life? Move on.

PETER M · Answer

Your wife is insensitive to your feelings because she may not love love you unconditionally and there is nothing you can do to change the way she feels about you.  Were she to not like something about you it is up to her to tell you what it is about you she doesn't like and it is up to you to change yourself by yourself, for yourself and for the marriage.  The same is true of your wife.  Were she not to like something about you it is up to you to tell her what you don't like about her and it is up to her to change herself by herself, for herself and for the marriage.  One thing to keep in mind is a person can't change another person to be what they want them to be, only the person who is asked to change can change him or her self by and for oneself.  Many people don't realize this in a relationship and a marriage and they think they will be able to change the other over time.  The opposite is true as over time the change that one person wants of the other doesn't happen and resentment by the person who wants the other to change takes its toll on the marriage and communication breaks down and neither knows what the other wants of the other to create the change.  A marriage takes work, which means working on it all the time by nurturing the marriage and above all communicating with each other without anger and with the mutual understanding that the outcome will be compromise and the promise by each never to go to bed angry at the other.  This isn't too much to ask of each partner as love, respect and trust is the outcome of communicating with each other with the hope each of you will walk hand in hand down the path of life and grow old together.

? · Answer

NO ONE WILL ANSWER ITS TOO LONG, I DIDNT EVEN BOTHER READING IT

why is my wife insensitive to my feelings and needs?

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