if a reformed alcoholic has a drink by mistake, should they be told what they did?
Someone I know had a reformed alcoholic friend to stay at his house while he was away, and told her to help herself to food or whatever. The alcoholic hadn’t had a drink in four years. My friend returned to find a bottle of ginger beer had been drunk (about a pint). It wasn’t the soft drink but a 4% alcohol variety – actual beer, but ginger flavoured. It would be easy to assume that the bottle contained a soft drink – most people do associate the term ‘ginger beer’ with the soft drink. Never mind the issue of whether the stuff should have been left in the fridge – it just was. The question is, should the alcoholic be told they had a drink by mistake, or is tactful silence the best policy? What would be the effect of disclosing the information?
Anonymous2010-08-25T04:46:33Z
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I think I would not say anything, I don't see what good it would do, other than make them start over in counting days/weeks/months of sobriety. That alone would be discouraging after 4 years.
One beer is nothing you can take back, and there is no antidote for having drunk it, so silence would be my decision.
As to "I doubt the one beer did any harm", it is my understanding (through my dad who has a PhD in drug/alcohol counselling, and is over 27 years sober) that one drink brings an alcoholic right back to the state he was in the day he decided he had to quit.
That said, an recovered alcoholic who really didn't want to drink again would never presume that a drink that said "beer" on it didn't have any alcohol. He'd check the label.
I don't know if I'd say anything or not, because I would either have not left it there to begin with, or would have talked to the person about whether or not to leave it beforehand.
PS- In a non-alcoholics home, there's probably lots of stuff that contains alcohol, like cough syrup, etc.
I wouldn't worry about it. The guy knew he was staying at a non-alcoholics home. He should be prepared to be seeing stuff that contains alcohol.
Its just like a compulsive shopper who shops continually, and goes to rehab to control it. Eventually, they always go back to a store and will spend, and they know they're doing it. A compulsive drinker is the same thing, they know they are drinking and they are very well aware of the dangers. They are the ones that have to want to stop drinking, and apparently this is not the case yet.
Im sure they knew they had alcohol. We make our own choices in life and deal with our own consequences. Alcoholics do not need babysitting in regards to their addiction. They need to grow up and need to learn responsibility above all else.
I doubt the one beer did any harm. I would hate to think he's one of those sorry saps that goes out on a binge and expects everyone to believe it's due to that one beer. What a load of crap that is.
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