Brett
Favorite Answer
There are very few reasons why a guy needs to have any kind of contact with an ex. For example, if they have mutual friends, he is going to run into the ex on occasion. But he should keep any contact with her brief and only on an absolutely necessary basis. You can't expect a guy to abandon all of his friends if he and his ex run in the same circles. It is acceptable to expect your guy not to call her or to have any one-on-one encounters with her (no going out for coffee just the two of them, for example), even if these encounters are purely friendly. However, your boyfriend should be doing these things on his own. Out of consideration for your feelings and as a way of distancing himself from a relationship gone bad. But you asking your boyfriend to do these things and to avoid his ex altogether is going to make you seem jealous and controlling. If your boyfriend is having excessive, unnecessary contact with his ex, you need to talk to him calmly about his behavior and tell him why it bothers you. But avoid banning him from doing anything. You being controlling is going to make this problem worse and possibly end your relationship.
Steven
It depends on 1) your relationship with him and 2) what kind of relationship or contact he wants to have with her.
If you are "together" with him as a couple then you may be ok to ask him that. If you're just dating him or something you don't have the right yet to ask him.
The other thing is that if you and he are together, I don't think it would be wrong for you to ask him not to have an ongoing relationship with her. You may come off as being insecure or jealous though. If a guy has an ex girlfriend there isn't anything wrong with him saying hi to her if he runs into her somewhere, but if he's with you he shouldn't want to continue some kind of ongoing contact with her. Unless there is some reason he needs to keep contact with her (like they have a baby together or something), he shouldn't want to have a relationship with her if he's with you. I believe you can have a relationship with your current, or your ex, but not both.
Just my opinion of course.
Anonymous
Depends on the situation. If it's someone who is tied to the ex somehow. Like the ex is good friends with their sister. Or like the ex is the daughter of your dad's best business partner. It's hard to completely break ties.
My advice, tell your boyfriend you don't like him talking to your ex. More often than not, in my life, that's unavoidable and your just gonna have to go on faith that he'll do the right thing.
Vash
If you are being helpful no it is not wrong.
If you are in a relationship with him and having to ask him to move on from her, yes it is wrong but not for him it is wrong for you because he is not ready to be yours or move on or else he wouldn't be holding on to his ex...at least he is not ready to let the ex go yet.
Time helps heal, you can ask sure, but don't expect that asking changes much, time does though.
xxtrinidadhunnixx
Yes and no.
Yes because you're restricting the guy from being friends with people who he wants to be friends and and it sounds like you might not trust this person which leads to...
No because there is a history with these two people which can potentially spark up again if they are still hanging out together and may cause trouble with the new relationship.