I've seen several places that say that being happy (or interested) is a choice, that one chooses to be happy rather than unhappy all the time. This doesn't make any sense to me - if you're pretending to be happy or forcing yourself to be interested in something or someone, you're not actually happy/interested.
I don't get how this can work - if something isn't interesting, how can I make it interesting?
Jesere
Favorite Answer
Happiness is a choice, interested is not the same as happiness...
?
One doesn't really choose to be happy or unhappy. However, one can choose to WANT to be happy (or if you're weird, to be unhappy) and this want can affect the decisions you make in such a way that you eventually lead a happier life. It really doesn't make sense that somebody could force themselves to be happier in life.
When you try to force yourself to be happy, you're trying to fool yourself. The problem is that your unconscious mind is pretty smart; it can see through the facade even if you don't acknowledge it consciously. This ends up creating a disconnect in the mind, known as cognitive dissonance, which causes you to feel troubled inside... From personal experience I know that it really eats you up.
It has to do with perspective. If your perception of life is optimistic, one in which you find the brighter
points in life, you tend to be happier. If you only focus on the setbacks and misfortune, you tend to be less happy... So you could possibly force yourself to look at the brighter parts, which might lead to a happier lifestyle, but you still won't directly be able to force yourself to be happy.
So if you want to find the interest in something that isn't interesting, try changing your perspective. Just so you know, this isn't necessarily an easy thing to do. However, by changing your perspective and looking at a situation from a different angle you can potentially discover more value in that situation and thus find it more interesting.
dude
I don't know about being interesting but being happy is a choice. When people say it's a choice they mean that you can decide how input from the external world effects you. For some it is inborn. Others can learn by constantly checking themselves when negative thoughts enter their mind. After a while it will become second nature.
It's not easy. It takes constant and hard work. It's human nature to change only under great stress or pain. People can change but usually don't
geoffstevens1
I think you are interpreting happiness in the wrong way. You are here on this earth, you have stuff to do, and theres really no way around it. Instead of complaining all the time, say to yourself "Hey i'm here and i half to do this, so why not accept it for what it is and stop wanting something else."
"Happiness is a how, not a what. A talent, not an object" (Herman Hesse, writer of Siddhartha)
Anaiah C
I think rather that certain things by their very nature will make you truly happy. other things won't. You don't choose to be happy so much as you choose the things which make you happy.