She is 17 im 20. Im a junior in college and she is a junior in hs. We are good friends that go to the same church, so this has nothing to do with having sex. I told her I like her, and she said that there is too much of an age difference, but we flirt all the time and we look into each other eyes like we should be more than friends. I just dont know if I should just be friends and hope that she sees that it isnt that big of an age difference or if I should just be friends?? I feel so heart broken cause I really care about her, and I know she likes me too.
2011-02-01T16:40:48Z
just to clarify, I am not worried about the age difference, but she said that "there is just too much of an age difference between us" so I know that is the only thing holding her back from giving us a chance.
2011-02-03T17:05:27Z
and to anyone wondering how I have soo many answers, its easy really, just post your question, and then go out and answer other peoples questions and when u answer post a link to your question and ask them nicely to answer your question and poof you hv over 100 answers
Anonymous2011-02-01T17:13:08Z
Favorite Answer
Awww I know how you feel, but trust me that really isn't a big age difference some couples have a 5 year age difference. The thing is look at it from her perceptive you know what I mean? Age gap isn't the main concern for her. Let me explain shes in high school only when your in high school your still making a lot of mistakes trying to piece together who you are, and just trying to enjoy life you know? However your a junior in college, and thats a whole different story. At that age you know who you are you've matured fully and you have a lot of responsibilities. Thats how it looks to her. To her you appear to be a guy thats borderline man aka fully independent. So even though she really likes you she may just be afraid that you guys will have conflicting interest. And that fact that your close to being fully independent puts the image in her mind that your a lot older than you are. So its all about how she is perceiving the situation. Which really stinks seeing how you really like her a lot, and its never easy to let go of someone that means a lot to you. Your gonna have to be that guy for her that she can depend on and looks forward to meeting. She needs to know she isn't just going to end up hurt, and that the relationship will work. So your going to have to be the man she can count on and that will ease her anxiety about the whole age gap thing. However please do keep in mind that some girls just love flirting, and don't want anything serious. If thats her case please let her go, because you deserve someone who can return your affection just like you deserve. However it doesn't seem to be the case here. Good luck. Love confuses us all, but its worth it in the end :).
I am 17 and a few months ago I started dating the son of a family friend who is 27, so that's 10 years and I never cared about the age difference and neither did he. We met when I was moving into town and his parents asked him to help. After that we'd see each other at family and friends BBQ's and then at my aunts wedding we started dating. And 10 years age difference to me isn't even a big deal so 3 years is nothing. If you think about it this way we were a decade apart and you two aren't even half a decade apart. My advice would be to ask her to coffee or lunch, not as a date though so no dinner (since dinner is more like a date) and so then she can get to know you more and most likely she will realize that sure you were born 3 years apart but it doesn't mean that you two cant date.
Tell her that you are still interested but that you respect what she thinks about it and then say that it isn't in any way a date that its just drinking coffee (or tea) with some nice company and conversation.
I was in that same situation, twice. Last year I was 19 and my new boyfriend was only 16, turning 17. It was insanely hard to deal with all the comments from people my age, and everyone at his school was giving him a hard time, in a jokingly way. In fact, my little brother went to school with my boyfriend of the time, and because of it, my brother was getting picked on. While we were together, things went fantastic. Until he got too familiar with being with me that he went back to being obnoxiously immature, I got to see his real colors. He became paranoid about everything and wanted to fight all the time. I was a sophmore in college, he was a sophmore in high school. (Should have been a junior but because of his birthday he was held as a sophmore) ANYWAY my point is that it wouldn't be easy.
The other instance is with my current boyfriend. I am now 20 and he is 30. He was very skeptical about wanting to start dating me because of the age difference. Well to cure that idea from his head, (Because I liked him so much that I didn't want something as dumb as a number keep us apart) we went to the movies. Just hung out got to know each other a little bit. We talked all the time, I knew he liked me too. The day we decided to make it offiicial, he was telling me that in the end it really doesn't matter how old you are. What matters is that we have a connection, and sparks fly. From then on 10 years didn't bother him.
My point is, that if you click, and you both want to be together, than don't let anyone stop you. Be aware however, that 17 and 20 are two different maturity levels. It may not seem like much now, when things are going smooth, but it can be an issue later. Do what feels right to your heart.
Okay here's the deal buddy, THIS IS NOT TOO MUCH OF AN AGE DIFFERENCE AT ALL!!!!!!!!! LIKE I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!!!! I am telling the dead honest truth here. 3 years is nothing! Most marriages have around 1-7 or even a lot more in age difference. Once you are both already hit puberty then it is ok. I promise you this is no big deal
All I can say, is if she is saying this, she must not like you. I hate to say that, but Age doesn't matter in relationships, so if she was flat out in love with you , Age would be the last thing on her mind.
You need to ask her why it bothers her. Do you look old for her age, and does she look and act young for hers? That might be a possibility. Because some 17 and 20 year olds look and act the same age. So she could like you but is creeped out because you look like an old man?
I am a 20 year old Christian Girl :) who has dealt with age difference relationships where I was the older one.
I've dated women 10 years younger, and slightly older. So don't worry about it. A colleague of mine at work has recently married a guy 15 years older than her, and they are very happy. I think age differences mean more when you are in your teens and early 20s - because 3 or 4 years seems like such a long time. But don't worry about it. If you really like her,stick around but don't be too keen. That is ALWAYS a bad move and it will just put her off - and that's what you do not want!. Just be there for her, and wait for her to see the light. It might be an idea to start friendships with other girls too. Then if she really likes you: you'll soon know it because she will no doubt show her true feelings if s