3 Yr Age Difference Too Much?

Awww I know how you feel, but trust me that really isn't a big age difference some couples have a 5 year age difference. The thing is look at it from her perceptive you know what I mean? Age gap isn't the main concern for her. Let me explain shes in high school only when your in high school your still making a lot of mistakes trying to piece together who you are, and just trying to enjoy life you know? However your a junior in college, and thats a whole different story. At that age you know who you are you've matured fully and you have a lot of responsibilities. Thats how it looks to her. To her you appear to be a guy thats borderline man aka fully independent. So even though she really likes you she may just be afraid that you guys will have conflicting interest. And that fact that your close to being fully independent puts the image in her mind that your a lot older than you are. So its all about how she is perceiving the situation. Which really stinks seeing how you really like her a lot, and its never easy to let go of someone that means a lot to you. Your gonna have to be that guy for her that she can depend on and looks forward to meeting. She needs to know she isn't just going to end up hurt, and that the relationship will work. So your going to have to be the man she can count on and that will ease her anxiety about the whole age gap thing. However please do keep in mind that some girls just love flirting, and don't want anything serious. If thats her case please let her go, because you deserve someone who can return your affection just like you deserve. However it doesn't seem to be the case here. Good luck. Love confuses us all, but its worth it in the end :).

I am 17 and a few months ago I started dating the son of a family friend who is 27, so that's 10 years and I never cared about the age difference and neither did he. We met when I was moving into town and his parents asked him to help. After that we'd see each other at family and friends BBQ's and then at my aunts wedding we started dating. And 10 years age difference to me isn't even a big deal so 3 years is nothing. If you think about it this way we were a decade apart and you two aren't even half a decade apart. My advice would be to ask her to coffee or lunch, not as a date though so no dinner (since dinner is more like a date) and so then she can get to know you more and most likely she will realize that sure you were born 3 years apart but it doesn't mean that you two cant date.

Tell her that you are still interested but that you respect what she thinks about it and then say that it isn't in any way a date that its just drinking coffee (or tea) with some nice company and conversation.

I was in that same situation, twice. Last year I was 19 and my new boyfriend was only 16, turning 17. It was insanely hard to deal with all the comments from people my age, and everyone at his school was giving him a hard time, in a jokingly way. In fact, my little brother went to school with my boyfriend of the time, and because of it, my brother was getting picked on. While we were together, things went fantastic. Until he got too familiar with being with me that he went back to being obnoxiously immature, I got to see his real colors. He became paranoid about everything and wanted to fight all the time. I was a sophmore in college, he was a sophmore in high school. (Should have been a junior but because of his birthday he was held as a sophmore) ANYWAY my point is that it wouldn't be easy.

The other instance is with my current boyfriend. I am now 20 and he is 30. He was very skeptical about wanting to start dating me because of the age difference. Well to cure that idea from his head, (Because I liked him so much that I didn't want something as dumb as a number keep us apart) we went to the movies. Just hung out got to know each other a little bit. We talked all the time, I knew he liked me too. The day we decided to make it offiicial, he was telling me that in the end it really doesn't matter how old you are. What matters is that we have a connection, and sparks fly. From then on 10 years didn't bother him.

My point is, that if you click, and you both want to be together, than don't let anyone stop you. Be aware however, that 17 and 20 are two different maturity levels. It may not seem like much now, when things are going smooth, but it can be an issue later. Do what feels right to your heart.

Okay here's the deal buddy, THIS IS NOT TOO MUCH OF AN AGE DIFFERENCE AT ALL!!!!!!!!! LIKE I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!!!! I am telling the dead honest truth here. 3 years is nothing! Most marriages have around 1-7 or even a lot more in age difference. Once you are both already hit puberty then it is ok. I promise you this is no big deal

All I can say, is if she is saying this, she must not like you. I hate to say that, but Age doesn't matter in relationships, so if she was flat out in love with you , Age would be the last thing on her mind.

You need to ask her why it bothers her. Do you look old for her age, and does she look and act young for hers? That might be a possibility. Because some 17 and 20 year olds look and act the same age. So she could like you but is creeped out because you look like an old man?

I am a 20 year old Christian Girl :) who has dealt with age difference relationships where I was the older one.

I've dated women 10 years younger, and slightly older. So don't worry about it.

A colleague of mine at work has recently married a guy 15 years older than her, and they are very happy.

I think age differences mean more when you are in your teens and early 20s - because 3 or 4 years seems like such a long time. But don't worry about it. If you really like her,stick around but don't be too keen. That is ALWAYS a bad move and it will just put her off - and that's what you do not want!. Just be there for her, and wait for her to see the light.

It might be an idea to start friendships with other girls too. Then if she really likes you: you'll soon know it because she will no doubt show her true feelings if s

Honestly, I think the excuse "too much of an age difference" doesn't seem to make sense. If I liked a guy enough I wouldn't worry about the age difference. She might have other reasons for not wanting to be a couple. So maybe you like her more than she likes you and if that is the case I would move on.

But,

she could be telling the truth and really have an issue with your age difference. If that's the case I would just keep being friends. Just enjoy being friends, being around her, and getting to know her. You are young so don't rush to get into a relationship if it's ment to happen it'll happen.

Sorry, I couldn't give you a straight answer (there might not be one specific answer). Good luck!

I'm 34, and single but I've dated women 10 years younger, and slightly older. So don't worry about it.

A colleague of mine at work has recently married a guy 15 years older than her, and they are very happy.

I think age differences mean more when you are in your teens and early 20s - because 3 or 4 years seems like such a long time. But don't worry about it. If you really like her,stick around but don't be too keen. That is ALWAYS a bad move and it will just put her off - and that's what you do not want!. Just be there for her, and wait for her to see the light.

It might be an idea to start friendships with other girls too. Then if she really likes you: you'll soon know it because she will no doubt show her true feelings if she thinks that other women are interested in you - so keep your eyes open for the signs of female jealousy!! This may be a devious tactic, but women are very complicated beings. Often what they say isn't actually what they mean - and they have a tendency to change their minds as often as the weather! If she thinks other women are interested in you, psychologically that makes you a 'man in demand'. Women like men who are desired by other women. If she thinks that she is no longer the focus of your desire, she will compete for your attention :)

Trust me: I've a long history of making all the wrong moves. With hindsight I would have done so many things differently!

Good luck: and remember: be a man!

t I've dated women 10 years younger, and slightly older. So don't worry about it.

A colleague of mine at work has recently married a guy 15 years older than her, and they are very happy.

I think age differences mean more when you are in your teens and early 20s - because 3 or 4 years seems like such a long time. But don't worry about it. If you really like her,stick around but don't be too keen. That is ALWAYS a bad move and it will just put her off - and that's what you do not want!. Just be there for her, and wait for her to see the light.

It might be an idea to start friendships with other girls too. Then if she really likes you: you'll soon know it because she will no doubt show her true feelings if she thin

When you are 20, a 17-year-old is in a very different place in life. She's in high school and hasn't yet tasted the "real world" of college or working or being on her own. Even at 18 and 21, you will still be in very different places in life. But, when she's around 21 and you're 24, the age difference won't seem so big. If you really like her and want to wait around until then, go for it. Otherwise, for now, she may be right. Meanwhile, continue to do fun things with her and nice things for her. Maybe she will fall for you and realize that the age difference really isn't that big of a deal.

Age should not matter. Age is a DAMN number its all about if its right. if you feel it could be something more, don't give up. If you give up trying you have gave up loving. Just try to let her fall into place. be there for her even if it hurts, try to Lay off the flirting see how she reacts. If she doesn't say anything she must not care vary much if she asks you why.. she cares more than you think just be the friend that you can and keep your options open.. maybe she will feel different about age when she realizes your not all about her. Girls crave attention from guys sometimes. even if they know its not right and i would know this because im a 17 year old girl, and i have been in the situation. good luck with everything!

It could also mean that she just sees you as a friend and nothing more and gives you those long gazes because she just thinks you are funny. She may just not want to hurt your feelings by telling you that she does not see you two making it together because she does not feel like you are compatible on that level but compatible enough to be friends and it would be too weird to share all of that with you so she just says "there is too much of an age difference." You could be taking her signals the wrong way, this could be God testing you to see if you are going to make her an idol now that she has turned you down and to see if something going wrong will make you lose faith. Remember to stay strong in faith even in bad times like Job did. Don't get too caught up on her take it really slow and don't ask her again for a long time about it. This is not a christan song but take some advice form the song "hold on loosely" by 38 special. The best advice I can give you is DO NOT SMOTHER HER. Give her time and plenty of space or you will ruin it if you come one too strong. I know because this has happened to me before.