TRANSGENDER: is s/he genuine?

heh, long story, but i would sincerely appreciate your opinion on this, yes?

i have a friend. born female, who for most of her early teenage life was comfortable identifying as such. recently, she has become interested in 'Yaoi' or homo-erotic fantasies between men, and as far as i can remember she has always been interested in cosplay, or other roleplaying games. a few months ago, she decided she was bi-sexual and found a girlfriend who also enjoyed yaoi and roleplay. but, in the last two weeks, my female friend has began requesting we refer to her as 'him'. s/he got his/her haircut short, has taken to binding his/her breasts, and wears male clothing. naturally, as his/her friend, i try my hardest to offer support, but i cant help but feel a little... uncomfortable with this sudden inexplicable change. emotionally, they act very much the same as always. that is, he/she retains many of the emotional tendencies of a female, and so i often make the mistake of mis-adressing, refering by defult and entirely by accident to said person as 'she'. at first i worried about it, but then i began to realize hey, s/he doesn't even seem to notice. on top of that, i have noted that on numerous occasions s/he has accidentally referred to him/herself as female without being aware of it, and i must admit i interpreted this as a signal that something was not quite right with this situation.
i have a loose theory, that is that s/he has taken on this new male identity as a roleplay in much the same way s/he would assume a cosplay character, in order to share the homo-erotic fantasies with his/her partner. after all, the likely hood of finding a MALE partner willing to accept that their girlfriend enjoys yaoi is low. of course, this theory may be entirely wrong, s/he may be being quite genuine about the whole thing, i just... it sounds horrible but i truely feel that there is something fishy about the whole thing.
im not uncomfortable with him/her being transgender in the least, but i am uncomfortable with the thought that perhaps it is all an act, and that by acting in this manner s/he is being disrespectful and immature.

what do you guys think? am i reading to far into this? do you believe s/he is genuine and im just being a jerk?
maybe i am just being a jerk. :/

Anonymous2011-04-26T08:11:05Z

Favorite Answer

You're not being a jerk. You're being a concerned friend.

In addition to what clones said, I'd just say that I transitioned in January. Since then, I have referred to myself as male twice. Habits developed over the course of half a century are hard to break. I hear it every time someone uses my old name or says "he", but I don't correct people every time. First off, it's not always possible without major interruptions. Secondly, you have to give people a break - I mean, if I make that mistake, how can I yell at someone else for doing it? Third, I don't want a reputation as a b___h. So, perhaps your friend is simply cutting you some slack.

I agree with Clones. Let him identify as he will, and do your best to support him. If he's really trans, eventually he'll find his way to a counselor and start getting things straightened out. If not, this too shall pass.

Anonymous2011-04-26T07:41:22Z

im sorry to say that if you feel that you may be just being a jerk, then maybe that is what is true. I dont see why it should be open to discussion whether they are "genuine", its their life and their choice

Anonymous2011-04-26T07:43:34Z

Instinct ALWAYS wins out. Don't ignore your own gut. Your friend is seriously messing with evil things...and needs help. I would distance myself so as not to get sucked into it.