I don't think I am pregnant, but my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex and I'm worried that I could be.
This question is not about giving me lectures towards not using protection. I know I made a mistake, and I am very embarassed that I didn't stop it from happening. We were in the moment and weren't thinking.
The more complicated part of this is that my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is pregnant. They were together before he ever met me so it's not like he cheated or anything. We have been together for almost 4 months, and his ex is due to give birth in august.
She is not fit at all to be a mother in my opinion. She is very unreasonable, unappreciative that my boyfriend isn't running away from supporting the baby, and it just very cruel to him. The environment she lives in is not safe for a baby and she often tells him that she wants full custody.
My bf and I had a conversation about what would happen if I am pregnant. He said that there is a 0% chance of me keeping the baby, because financially being able to support the baby is not possible right now, which i agree with. He said that I would need to get an abortion because having a baby and giving it up for adoption is selfish. I don't know what I agree with now. I have always thought that abortion is mean and selfish.
I just don't know what to do. I trust him that he won't leave me.
Anonymous2011-07-27T12:41:53Z
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Excuse? It's SELFISH to put the baby up for adoption.. but not if you KILL and ABORT the baby? You're boyfriend is a douche bag. I mean seriously... he knocked up his ex? And potentially you? The best thing would be o give the baby up for adoption. I don't believe in killing children or babies. Fetus' can feel you know. I'm glad you realize you are unable to afford the baby too. Definitely adoption. Also, F.Y.I - don't get yourself into a relationship like this... you will be ****** forever!
First, it's not your place to judge someone you barely know, so forget about his ex. It's highly unlikely that she's be able to cut him out of her child's life, so he will have some custody or at least visitation regularly with that child.
As for your situation, if you're 100% certain that you can't keep this baby, consider this:
Abortion: Pros: Not having to carry a baby to term Cons: A life time of regret and wondering 'what if'. Possible injury which could impact your fertility in the future. Knowing that a baby died as a direct consequence of your actions.
Adoption: Pros: Knowing that you've given life to a child. Knowing that you've brought happiness to an otherwise childless couple. Cons: Having to carry a pregnancy to term and give birth, including dealing with post partum recovery and lactation. Dealing with the sense of loss when you hand your baby over. Always wondering where your little one is and what they're doing now.
By far, in my opinion, adoption is the more selfless act because you give over your body for 9 whole months to give birth to a child that someone else will raise. By aborting, you're making another innocent person pay the ultimate price because you two didn't take the necessary precautions. in my opinion, abortion should never be used as a method of birth control, if you can't support a child, you should make sure every time that you take precautions.
Neither option is pleasant, but adoption will give your unborn baby life and a childless couple the family they've been hoping for, most likely for years. The only question now is, which do you think you can live with: knowing that your baby died because of your choices, or knowing that complete strangers are raising your child and giving him/her all that you can't afford? It' your choice and your choice alone hun. Good luck...
Hey there - first of all you need to take the boyfriend out of the picture.... there is a way to take care of a baby - you can put him on child support - it seems like he doesnt want the responsibility of financially taking care of two kids but that is no longer an option. If you want to keep your baby then you keep your baby and be the best mother you can be... put him on child support. You can also seek help from your local community and get WIC and other help. If you really do not want to keep the baby please let that be your choice and not his. Whatever choice you make it seems like it will scar you mentally - you dont come off like you are really ok with abortion or adoption. Its always easy for the guy to give an opinion because its not his body or have that attachment... there are many single mothers out there doing there thing.... this early in the possibly pregnancy you could get an abortion with a pill and not surgically have a proceedure done. Take a test and go from there.
Hi logic is screwed up. Giving the baby up for adoption is selfish? NO taking a innocent life is selfish. He needs to get a grip.With adoption the child has a chance to live a normal life. Abortion takes life. What if your mother did that. You wouldnt be here to day. Abortion is selfish and the easy way out. Tell him to man up and giv eit up for adoption to give it a chance at life.
Abortion is worse in any situation. I am not going to tell you about how you will end the life of a baby, you probably already know that. I'm going to tell you that abortion is risky to you. Chances of unsterile procedures, risks of severe bleeds, infections, etc are huge. Many abortion clinics do not use proper techniques to ensure safety of their clients. They are, after all, just a business. Your chances of dying in a botched abortion are a lot higher than dying during childbirth.
If you turn out to be pregnant, check out this website. There are some counselors and people who can help you.