As a parent should I interfer in a possible rape of a teen?

Question

My daughter who is in college who has a friend whom she knows from high school. My daughter is 2 years older than her friend who just graduated from high school this year who attended college this fall for the first time at a different college than my daughter. The problem is this young lady who still keeps in touch with my daughter, called recently was crying and screaming and was very upset. She stated to my daughter that she went over her roommate from college house for a small party. She told my daughter that she only had a sprite to drink, she said she felt sleepy, so she went in the bedroom that her friend let her sleep in. She said the next morning she awaken in someone's house with her clothes off, hicky marks on her neck and body, and a used condom beside her. Noone was there in the house, and she hurried up and left. She told my daughter that she knew she had been raped, and she don't even remember a thing or who the person was. My daughter said she was screaming and crying. My daughter told her to tell her parents, and to go to the police, but my daughter's friend refused, worrying about what her Father ( who is a preacher) and mother would think of her. My daughter says she keeps calling daily crying and my daughter says she keep telling her to go to the police and to tell her parents. I told my daughter to tell her that this also could happened to someone else, she needs to stop this person. The girl also says that the roommate says she ask one of the guys that were there did he know what happen? He says his friend put something in my daughter friend's drink, but noone will go to the police. This is bothering me and my daughter should we go over this young girl's head and tell her parents? I really don't know them, but met them years ago at a H.S. basket ball game? Any advice please I am worrying how this might destroy this young lady keeping all that bottled inside of her.

2011-10-26T05:58:10Z

My daugher isn't at home but is at a college out of the state we live in. Her friend who is only 18 years old is at a Junior college in the state we live in.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As a rape victim myself (raped at age 14), it is very hard to go through. I didn't tell a soul until over a year later. She is going to need your daughter right now. She is very vulnerable, feels violated and its something that makes you want to just die. Most of all, she is scared. She needs a support group and I'm glad she told you daughter. It's not easy to tell anyone and it's even harder to tell your parents. Especially strict ones. I highly suggest that you talk to your daughter to see how she feels about you getting involved. She will know best at this moment. Don't tell this girls parents. She needs to feel ready to tell them on her own. If she feels like they will get upset, telling them without her feeling comfortable will only dig the hole deeper. Right now she needs your daughter and try to be supportive in any way you can. I suggest, if possible, she move off campus somewhere closer to you or her family. She is going to need a lot of love and support as she can get. Don't let her go looking for it in hook-ups and guys because that's what I did since I didn't tell anyone. She has you and she has your daughter, don't give up on her. See that she gets into counseling as well.

o · Answer

If you wish to get involved the ONLY thing you should do is call or go see the girl & offer to help her. Whether that be through talking alone, going with her to report the incident, helping her find a counselor, offering to go with to talk with her parents...or all of the above. This is a highly sensitive personal issue & you have no right to bring it up to anyone without her consent. it sounds as if she is completely overwhelmed mentally by this incident & forcing her to have to deal with either authorities &/or her parents could really send her over the edge. Compile a list of resources; RAPE hotline, names & numbers of counselors in her immediate area. She needs support from trained professionals. It may be that the Junior College she attends has an on campus counselor, that's something you could find out & it might be appropriate to call that counselor & say you are very concerned about her & ask that they check on her.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds to me like her drink was spiked and then was taken advantage of. I think you should advise your daughter on what to say, don't jump in unless of course you have a well established relationship with your daughter's friend. If you do have this then talk to her directly.

? · Answer

Have your daughter tell her that she has 24 hours to tell her parents, or you'll have to. That you're sorry and hope she understands that it has to be done. And, most importantly, that you are willing to be there with her when she tells them what happened. Even the strictest parents couldn't be cold to their child after something like that happened, and she didn't even drink!!

pooh · Answer

if it were me, i would probly get involved. some may not think so, but this needs to be took care of. wheen a person is so messed up,drunk or whatever, then common sinse tells u,they are not able to think clearly, so they have been takin advantage of... thats so so wrong.

As a parent should I interfer in a possible rape of a teen?

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