What to do when you need a break from baby?

You are in an extremely difficult situation, but things aren't that bleak. At 9 months, your baby is settling down in to regular routines. Create routine for her where she takes a nap during mid-day or afternoon. That will give you a couple of hours of peace and quiet - yes, you won't be able to go out or anything, but if you don't have many friends, there aren't that many reasons to go out anyway. It will take about 2 weeks to get the baby trained to a routine. She may resist at first, but be gentle and patient with her, and she will settle down.

When she is awake, plan out activities with her. When you are cooking, place her on a high-chair so that she can see what you are doing, and also tell her what you are doing, eg. "Look, baby, I am peeling carrots." Don't use baby-talk - talk to her as you would to a friend. It will come out more natural and feel easier that way. Babies get fussy when they are bored. Talking to them is a great way to keep them occupied, and also for you to form that bond that PPD robbed you of.

Creating and following a routine is good for your baby, and good for your PPD. One thought that torments mothers with PPD is the feeling of "this is never going to end." With a routine, that feeling of anxiety can be controlled, because "there are times when it ends." With a proper daily routine, you are back in control.

During those breaks that you create for yourself, you need to plan some activities. For each day, plan something different - watch a TV series, do yoga, meditate, read.

Your partner and your family have let you down. But don't dwell on it, nor think about it. You are strong, and you don't need them. You can do this.

Do you have any neighbors with children, who you trust, who would take her for an hour or two? Or maybe a church nursery? Any friends who could give you a little break, just by coming into the house and watching her while you take a nap or something, so you'd be right there if they needed you but you could get some rest? Do you have the money to hire a mother's helper? That's someone who basically "babysits" your child in the home while you're still there, but takes the pressure off of you so you can nap, take a hot bath, get some work done, etc. Having a baby is SO difficult, it's really not something we were meant to do alone. Why does your family "refuse" to help? Your own mother? Have you told her that you have ppd and need her help? I can't imagine turning down the opportunity to help my daughter or be with my grandchild. wth

Drop-in daycares exist, and they cost about what your typical babysitter would charge. You should also start looking for a regular daycare now so that you can get on a waitlist in time for when you return to work.

Find an experienced babysitter with good references.

Check around in your area for a "mom's day out" program.  If you're in a bigger city, it's likely that some of the churches will have such a program.  Call some of the day care centers in your community and inquire if they'll keep your daughter one day a week for you to do "mommy things".  Also, take that POS baby daddy to court and get some child support from him.  And get some help for your mental health issues.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Do you have any daycare options?

First, you need to see your OB-Gyn about your PPD.  You should be prescribed meds for that.  You can take the baby with you.  I see mothers with their babies at my gynecologist's office all the time.

You should really see a therapist, too, but that could be hard to arrange if you don't have anyone to watch the child, unless perhaps you could do it online. Look into that. Your OB-Gyn might be able to recommend someone.  Your doctor will understand PPD, and so will a therapist.

Since you don't work, what about joining some kind of Mother and Baby group?  You could meet some people and maybe find someone who'd agree to exchange childcare with you, so you could get a few hours to yourself.

Finally, if you have no friends and family where you live, and since you don't have a job there, what about moving?  At least if you were closer to friends and family, you might feel better.

Good luck.