Would you read & c/c this effort?

It's a bit bumpy but is based on an email I received. The first part is said to be a Cherokee tradition once practiced. IDK enough of their history to know if it's true, but I liked the story & thought to turn it into a poetic...

Took the boy by the hand, said, 'Time's now come to be a man."
Took him to the forest deep, found a stump to be his seat.
Tied a blinder round his eyes, hoping he would realize
Trust was in his father's hand, could he prove he was a man?

Had to sit there all alone, while the sun went slowly down
Heard the sounds of night quite clear, heard the rustling all too near
Still he sat as had been told, hoped the the night would not grow cold
Morning came and the boy, felt the sun's warmth with joy

Took the blinder from his eyes and for the first time realized
On a stump not far away sat his father, heard him say
"I was with you all the time, watched your courage, Son of mine
Today the world calls you a man, no need now to hold my hand"

As the years quickly passed his father's strength didn't last
Came the son to his side, aged father smiled with pride
Too old to rise now on his own, too frail to walk all alone
So the son reached on down, helped him stand on solid ground
Took again his father's hand, and proved again he was a man.

2011-11-22T10:51:44Z

Sue, I felt that was the message in this, too. Even when we are blinded by our troubles, afraid and alone...our Father is with us.

2011-11-22T10:57:37Z

Sorry about the TDs, Friends; the person giving them to you is chalk full of pettiness & cowardice. because...being anonymous is the same as hiding in darkness. Ever Yahoo makes the Thumbs VISIBLE....hahaha we'd hardly ever see a TD.

Any Other Heart2011-11-22T16:37:52Z

Favorite Answer

Even before I start about the poem itself I just want to say that this is what I like about good poetry, people see different thing in it; based on their own selves sometimes. I for one hold no religion, I have nothing against it, it's just not a factor in my life whatsoever. So I just saw a great story of tradition, a tribal rite still seen today [though not always in the exact same way], the circle of life and the different kinds of trust, strength and definitions of "man". But it was not until I read the other answers that I made some connection to the bible.

Back to the poem itself; great first off it has everything in it I said up there and tells a good story with just enough detail. It has a lyrical air to it, a good strong beat and an unforced rhyme all the way through. The rhyme reads simply, and seems easy but then looking at the poem a second time a lot of work must has went into that alone [I always appreciate good, unforced rhyme as it is something that has always eluded me..].

Thank you for sharing this.

Thomas2011-11-22T21:22:14Z

BG

I loved this piece. What a superb job you did ma lady.

My first thought was Abraham and Isaac, and part of that dynamic has remained in this poetic discourse. However, it did turn to the one who deserves all the credit each minute of our lives....
The Most High, Mighty Counselor, Lord Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth.........

and how He is there, no matter when or where, on top of the highest mountain of sinking in quicksand, just like He was there to stop Abraham, He always has our best interests at heart. Now, the clincher here is this, so any non-believer will understand, cause this is Truth: does this belief system, our belief in God through a bridge to Him in the name of Jesus Christ, who gave us part of them, our indwelled Holy Spirit----does it make some self-righteous? Yes, unfortunately. Let me suggest that person check their heart on whether they truly believe. But to the rest of us, this life is just as hard, sucks sometimes, many trials, some gains, many losses, many tears, >>>> but there is a light, a lit flame we feel that cannot be extinguished, ever, unto our Salvation, that keeps us going, gives resolve and Hope, and on that life path to Eternal Glory are miracles, every day we see, sometimes happen to us, but we know whence they came, and where the credit goes.

Sorry for long post.

Rob2011-11-23T05:06:03Z

Oh, BG, this is one of the most beautiful pieces I've read.

There are a lot of American Indian traditions that help a boy transition into manhood, but I've never heard is expressed so well.

It applies to God too. He prepares a way for us (takes us to the stump), tests our faith (blinded by a band) and watches over us always. At least that is what I believe.

Thank you for posting this lovely poem; I'm glad I was able to read it.
.

?2011-11-23T14:19:06Z

Wow, a long time ago I recall reading this in a short story by someone.It has worked out well for you as a poem. I'm busy with company and miss you all!

cassie582011-11-23T13:19:21Z

Kathy, this is a truly wonderful story of how a boy became a man. a very nice write indeed, I didn't feel any bumps, smooth read to me. Have a lovely Thanksgiving

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