Is allowing teens to do what the they want a solution?
Some argue that parents push their kids into doing bad things because they are denied at first. While this is true, for some kids. But isn't that the same as the independence you get by having the choice to do bad or good, but pay the price?(basically adulthood right). Although in most cases kids are born good or bad, due to the fact of personality or formed through experience. This I think gives the benifit of : may let the kid do what he wants, reliefs parents of denying,clearly illustrates the being of self, also whether or not parents can trust him, that parents love thier child for who he/she is, and in the end prepare child for adulthood while in dependence of parents & teaching responsibility for thier actions (makes me think of, learning not to touch the stove by experience) What do u think?
Kelly Marie2011-12-23T02:34:31Z
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Well I have a 16 yr old, and I think we've managed to find the right balance. I've known people who are so restricted and sheltered that as soon as they get any freedom, they go crazy. then the parents say things like, "See this is why I can't trust you!" I have a friend who has told me, that she was so sheltered that by the time she got out into the world, she just went nuts, because she didn't know how to juggle her freedom with wisdom and responsibility. My daughter has a good sense of who to trust and hang out with as well. There's really only been one time I've not let her to be friends with some one. It turned out to be a good bet. He was an older boy,(she was 14 at the time) who I just had a feeling about, he ended us braking both her best friends hearts. She thought I was being weird and judgmental of him, but sometimes you just have to protect your kids. I also think being close to your kids and talking to them a lot from birth makes a big difference. sometimes she says I'm saying the same things over and over, but I tell her, it's so I know it'll stick. We don't let her do whatever she wants but she dose get to do a lot. More so the older she's gotten, of course. She gets in trouble if she disobeys but we don't put too many rules on her, so she's bond to brake them. She's seen some of her friends who've had more freedom go down some wrong paths. Also the kids who's parents won't let them do anything, so it seems like their always in trouble, for kinda braking a rule or something. So I think you have to find the right balance.....I had her when I was 15 btw if that puts it into any context lol I was given too much freedom and trust form my parents.I pretty much did whatever i wanted, I'm glad she's here but I'm just saying....because a lot of people end up in worse situations
By allowing teens to do what they want, when they want, the parents are not teaching their children the meaning of boundaries, respect, responsibilities etc.
As adults, we still do not do what we want when we want. It's not like work will say yeah, take a 3 hour lunch so you can get your hair done, go to a party etc.
It comes down to each family and how they live their life. Some kids are given the responsibility and trust and independence and they respect their parents and life is good.
Some parents are way too strict, dominating, controlling their kids lives until finally the child rebels and causes all out hell. Sometimes the child does not rebel and lives their life as per parents and will then do the same with their own children.
Some parents don't have a clue about their children, some don't even care as long as they are not bothering them (sad). The kids have no respect, no idea of boundaries, and don't care about good or bad/right or wrong. Their parents don't care about them, so why should anyone else - is most likley their frame of mind.
Sure, a person can only truly learn lifes lessons by experience. Parents need to allow their teens to experience in order for them to learn and accept some things, but there are limitations and trust must be part of the relationship between parent/s and child.
A parent is there to raise their child, teach their child and then support their child when needed throughout adulthood. A parent can only do their best, sometimes the child is too headstrong or too emotionally unstable to care for the parents. A parent will try their best at teaching their children life lessons, but they cannot wrap their children in cotton wool and protect them/shield them from anything negative, nor should a parent allow their child to run riot claiming they are just learning life's lessons. There is a happy medium.
But allowing a teen to do what they want when they want is no way a solution, that in fact is the start of a completely massive problem of unruly, irresponsible adults who cannot respect boundaries, the law nor know how to cope/support themselves.
Inevitably adolescence makes kids act emotional and at times self-destructive. I think discipline would actually be more effective on teens than letting them do what they want. I can honestly say that teenagers know right from wrong, it's just that society condones their actions.
Everyone is born with a sin nature & is why God commands parents to correct kids away from evil & protect,love,& use the switch on butt correction method.