Preparing a very attached 2 year old to be away from me overnight?
I'm expecting baby #3 in a few weeks. My son is almost 2 and 1/2 years old and very attached to me, which in general I consider a good thing. He is still breastfeeding once day, but we've skipped a day here and there without any drama - I feel I could wean him anytime if I wanted to and it wouldn't be an issue. (I have good reasons for not weaning him completely, but that's not relevant to my question.) During the day, he has no problem being cared for by someone else (Daddy, Grandma, church nursery, etc.) for a few hours. Bedtime is a little trickier, but Daddy can put him to bed and Grandma did once (although some crying was involved). But in the middle of the night - only mommy will do! He still wakes up an average of 1-2 times a night, sometimes for a diaper change but usually just for snuggles. He sleeps in a twin bed in his own room. He'll go right back to sleep for me after a few minutes of rocking or snuggling in bed. If Daddy tries to put him back to bed, he screams bloody murder - "I want my mommy!" until Daddy gives in and brings him to me.
On a regular basis, this doesn't bother me, but I'm worried about how he will cope when I'm in the hospital having the baby and the first week or so after when I'm recovering and exhausted and Grandma will be taking care of him. I don't want my mom to be the one who has to deal with him screaming for hours as he adjusts to this, but I don't really know how to prepare him otherwise. My husband is busy with work and trying to get ahead so he'll have more time to help me out when the baby gets here, so I don't want to make him deal with it either. I'm hoping that when I'm actually not here he'll be more willing to accept comfort from someone else, but I'm afraid that's just wishful thinking. My daughter (at the same age) was not at all like this and had no problem being cared for by Grandma when her brother was born.
Anybody else have a super-attached toddler when their next child was born? How did your toddler handle being away from you? Any suggestions for how to prepare him for this - preferably with minimal screaming and crying - or make it easier for Grandma to handle?
We don't have family in town, so I can't just have him spend an overnight with someone any old time. My mom will be driving 2.5 hours when I'm in labor to be here and help for a week or so. Asking her to come out an extra time before then for a test run isn't an option. We did try having her put him to bed when she was here to visit right before Christmas, and he cried for over an hour before finally falling asleep. After that, I wasn't going to make her deal with his night-wakings too. The rest of the family is even further away.
As for the "lack of planning" comments - we have been working on this all along. 8 months ago, he was still nursing 4-5 times a night, nursing to sleep for nap & bedtimes, and sleeping in a crib. Now he's night-weaned, can be put to bed without nursing (even by someone else), and sleeps in a twin bed. We've come a long way! I thought night-weaning would resolve the night-time attachment issue, but obviously not.