Please give an 18 year old girl advice.. the future i mean is like age 20 onwards?
Please give an 18 year old girl advice.. the future i mean is like age 20 onwards? Please give an 18 year old girl advice.. the future i mean is like age 20 onwards? Ok.
I am fully focused on what I want to be/who I could be. The person I could be, my dream career etc. That sometimes, I don't really "live in the rpesent". e.g. unelss someone is having a special occassion e.g. a party, i dont really go out social events. That is a waste of my time at the moment - as I have little money, I am very busy etc.. but in the future I would love to do that as I will have the money for it and the time .. I basically mean, if I spend now working hard hard hard. Then in the future, I will work hard too, but also play too and I will have the funds, time etc for it.
The only things are, I feel am I missing out. I dont have any desire to do all of that, infact I will even enjoy it more in the future if I just work hard now.. itt is just that I see people talking about what fun weekends they are having etc!
Also, looks. This year has been tough for me in not comapirng ymself to others. Girl these daysw ear lots of maeup, put so much effort in clothes etc etc etc. And it makes mef ele not as pretty - I feel in the future, I will be able to haev a "hot outfit" etc, but not right now.. no, like this girlw as wearing a leopard print coat, heels and bag to come to school and it looks gorgeous bvut I would feel out of place wearing that to school and plus, it is expensive etc. I just feel as long as I look repsenteable, natural beauty and enat and just focus now - and then in the futre (again, witht he future) the more mobney, confidence etc and I can weaer more ashionable etc.
Yes, I am really future oreintaterd. Buty I am living now as I am eworking hard now and stuff and I socialse at lunch/break/after school and once in a while out.
The only rpoblem is that - I hate teh feeling of people thinking im just "average" e.g. in looks, because i look at some girls some boys think are pretty and i think "i could be like that too" its jsut i dont have the time/moeny/desire to spend lots of time striaghening my haire very morning, ewaring lots of makeup, the otufit, the jackets everything.. but in the future i will be done with school, and if all goes well have the job i want etc and be able to afford to do more of thagt..
but i just feel like i could be like them but i just choose not to and i feel a bit like i dont want them tot hink im not as good as them when i am.
dont tell me not to be so future oreinatated because i am grateful and belssed with life!! and i have had lots of social life etc prior age of 18
arm2012-03-08T11:35:32Z
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In reading your story I have to say that the most important thing that you need to understand is that you are not average. You are probably more above average than most 18 year old people out there. These girls that worry about make-up, fashion, and expensive things... they are the average population that are unable to stand on there own and create their own identities beyond these years. Now I'm not saying that doing these things makes you average, because there is nothing wrong with wearing make-up and wanting to dress nice and fit in.....
But having focus and determination in this world to accomplish your dream and your goals and not get side tracked by the "social scene" is something very few people have at your age. And that puts you well beyond your years and gives you serious advantages for your future...
The younger people in this world that say "this is my time to be young... This is my time to make mistakes, and have fun, and party, ect"... They are the ones that have gotten the wrong message somewhere in life, because they are a bunch of teenagers trying to live adult lifestyles with out the understanding of the consequences that comes with it, when they should be focused on their studies and their futures because this is their only time in life to build that foundation. You can't ever get back freshman algebra, or sophomore biology later in life... But when you are done with all that, there will always be another party to find or a place to get drunk if you choose to do so when you are an adult.
Keep your head where it's at because you have a bright future ahead of you that is far from average.
Chill! Work now, play later. There's no reason you can't "live in the moment", as if you even had a choice. It's always going to be "now" regardless of what you're doing. Planning for the future and working to make it what you want it to be is a very rational thing to do. You sound fairly stressed though so you might want to find some kind of outlet. When I'm stressed I like to exercise - moving around is good for releasing tension and I need all the exercise I can get! Other times just an hour to decompress watching TV or reading a book is enough.
You sound very focused and that's good. Just find something to give your mind a break now and then.
You seem to have your head screwed on right. Stay out of the social sex games for as long as you can, it's hard to go back once you start. I think that you are asking the right questions at the right time in life. The question of finding a balance between smelling the roses now and working to have a rose garden is eternal and universal. Usually this question is ultimately answered for you by parts of yourself that you, at present, hardly know are there.
Ok, two things. One, Find happiness in your journey, not in what you expect to find at the end of the road. If you can do this two things will happen. One. With success or failure you will still have succeeded. Two. You will rarely fail. The next thing, we would like others to learn from our mistakes but, we forget that the only way we learned, was through our own. So when life test you, learn. Chances are you wont learn from others.
Hanging with the best-dressed crowd isn't the be-all end-all. If you have a happy social life you won't care about what they're doing. I think you should spend a little time finding yourself a style and whenever you shop, try to find clothes and accessories that match that style. The comfortable sweatshirt style doesn't qualify. Do a little something with your hair every morning - just a little. Do you wear glasses? Get a pair that reflects that style, and has a little special something about it. Carry a bag for your books that's not khaki, blue or grey.
Try to shop at thrift stores a little. With a little time spent, you can get some awesome outfits. Thrift stores are also great for finding awesome bags. Thrift stores have a wide variety of stuff, but to use them well you can't just visit them once. I shop for electronics at a couple thrift stores that I stop at around once a week. I run in, scan the selection and run out. It takes 10 minutes and it is worth it.
Spend time studying in public areas, and start saying hi to people more. Smile more. When you go to lunch, pick someone nearby who've you see around and ask them if they'd like to go with you. You can still hurry through lunch and get back to work quickly, but now you've spent a little time socializing with someone. Occasionally ask a boy. If you have a nice time suggest you do it again (boy or girl).
When you're walking around don't get lost in thought about your agenda - instead look at people, and if you see a guy looking at you, look back at him and smile or say hi. Eventually you'll start to get and asked out on dates, or just out with new friends. Spend one weekend night at least every couple weeks going out with friends or on dates. Once a week if you can. You don't have to go every weekend but get some social time in to your schedule.
Try not to worry about whether people judge you based on clothes and make-up. They do. But they judge their best friends too. It's a mess - it's hard not to get caught up in that. Dressing with a style will take you out of the "average" category, give you more confidence so you worry less about being judged, and it will attract a little attention - so you can have a little social life without having to invest an hour every morning.
Okay, so here's why I'm suggesting all this:
It sounds to me like you are on the path to career success and a very comfortable life. I'm an older man - and I've seen ladies at various points in their lives who have approached their life as you are approaching yours.
My friends in their late thirties and older make great money, manage divisions of companies, have power and the ability to wield it well, and live in a great house with all the toys (and clothes) they want. They are happy about the life they pursued and the outcome.
But a something I've noticed is that they never really did move out of the "I'll socialize later" phase. They put off socializing until after college, until after they got their career started, until after their career was on a good course, until they rose to management, etc, and now, although content with their lives, they wonder if they made a mistake by not dating more and living a more care-free life when they were younger. Some are married, some are not. And those who dated less, I find, have much more rigid tastes in men. There are less men out there that they like. Plus the dating pool really starts to narrow as people your age start marrying.
So balance your life now. It doesn't get easier to do later, and when you're 40 you won't wonder if you missed out.