Somewhere along the way I lost myself?

same here, man.  i used to like people.  now i'm despondent about how i feel about people.  i don't care if they get hurt.  mugged.  i really don't give a s.  it's not like i care about greatness or greed either.  i just emotionally drained.

it happened when i altered my meds.  instead of people smiling at me.  they d give me frowns and avoid me.  at first i was still nice.  i smiled at people.  but eventually i lost my niceness which i used to have a charming face/demeanor.  that's because how can you smile when people give you cold looks.

Lost! Ever considered buying a GPS navigator.?

it sounds like you are overthinking things.

I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.  Those are the words to Amazing Grace in case you didn't know.  Jesus will save you and change your life for the better, as well as giving you a home in heaven, if you receive Him  as Lord and Savior. Please read the New Testament for more information.  I suggest starting with the Gospel of John. 

It is possible to reboot one's inner child or soul-sense by remembering one's kinder, joyful childhood memories, and championing them.

Related:  "Understanding Yourself" by Mark Prophet.

It sounds like an existential crisis.   I get it.  I had a lot put on me as a kid because of who my family was.  So I understand what it is like when people have expectations about you.  You lose the ability to define yourself because you are living the expectations or rebelling against them.  Your not free to be—or you at least perceive that.  

 As an adult Living in suburbia I’ve felt similar pressures—like high school cliques among moms and needing to go to parties and buy crap I couldn’t afford, and even making my kids behave cooler so we could have play dates. Meanwhile my neighbors were popping Prozac while sipping wine. None of us felt thrilled.  I went back to school.  I had this class that kind of made me dig thru my bs and I journaled a lot and I found the soul that was buried in the bs.  I dealt with complacency and my superficial need to fit in with people I didn’t even know if I liked.  I found some forgiveness with a friend from high school—because 20 years later that still was a tough parting of ways.  I started doing yoga and it takes a couple years to get why it helps but it can.  I also left the cliques. I met more inter generational friends that I had more in common with and it feels like community.  No deep expectations—just sharing stories.  I do what I love with people I like.   I still get surges of existential crisis. It has more to do with stress and career lately—it’s a harder one to fix because it depends on opportunities others give and I’m really trying to be authentic and it doesn’t always work in the office. But I go back to journaling and reflecting, I pray, meditate and I go on.  You can too.  You can find your spark.  Take some time and sort it out.  Do the things that make you happy.  Find your voice.  Dress to be who you are—not to fit in.  You got this.  

Well you better find yourself, you can do that.

Are you who you want to be? You don't owe an entire personality to anybody, but you do owe it to yourself to be who you want to be.