Will you comment on this poem? Are new houses haunted?

A house has erected here.
The film of smoke that lingers
on make its edges hazy but
I think it has left the shell
of the previous
and tried to mask over the marks.
Covered the roots of the fruit tree
with gravel.
The house is getting bolder.
Shaking off the dust from the fire of which it was born
the ruins of the last house – this one is, they say, far superior.
Sturdier, strengthened, more steady.
Medium sized. Oak Beams. With land to negotiate.
The dust from the burnt out house flies
Throwing age and memories –
Sin into the house
It doesn’t take long for vines to quietly crawl between the front door
And creep inside the windows.
A seed from the blazed fruit tree blew in
with the ashes through the hallway
Into the centre of the house.
rocking the foundations;
it’s growing already.


Guidance to make it more poetic greatly appreciated.

?2012-05-01T02:30:37Z

Favorite Answer

I don't think I've much to add. I like the content though. What an interesting idea that seeds from the fire entered the new house as "sin."

I've enjoyed this.