Punishment of a Toddler?

Question

Let me trying to explain this best I can and please don't take this wrong way. I am a strong believe you shouldn't spanking a child but the same time a child need a boundary. That behinding say I am an uncle I came up an idea about bring in a car seat in the house. The reason I use the car seat as a time out because they are design to protect a child and keep them safe. I came the idea first when my nephew was kicking his grandma in her leg couple times and say it hurt and isn't listen to her aka my mother. I thought hey a car seat are design for that side note he is smart to know if the car sit in the car is ok because he is going somewhere but when his uncle me bring it in the house it is his time out sit. At the time did work and next week he wasn't listen neither of us my sister told my mom tell him if he does not listen his daddy will kick his but. Back of my mind hell no but he was not listen to us I say that it I will bring in the car sit again I put him in the car sit and I ask him are you OK and say he is I am OK but he did not like it. But his grandma and I watch him little bit and she explain to him and start to calm down and say I will listen and I say are you and say yes. Then I got him out the sit and listen to us. My question is did I choice the right route to punishment my nephew.

Bobbi · Accepted Answer

Super Nanny and Nanny 911 for all Your Parenting Emergencies. first of all, there is no consistency. There are threats. and there is punishment (strapping him down). all these three are NOT discipline, they are incoherent punishments (or threats of punishments) that will not work. Disicpline is to teach. 

"" if you kick ........"" wait a minute! a STERN, NO KICKING. and then sit for a minute per age. Normal is a clear set of rules, and clear consequences for the actions.

Gemi Dvorzhetskii · Answer

Well, the only thing is that if he see's the carseat as punishment, car rides are NOT going to be easy for you.

I suggest a time-out stool or chair, if he doesn't stay just keep putting him in until he sits still and quiet for two minutes.  Make sure he knows the rules, and always give him a warning first.  "If you kick grandma again you are going in time-out", get down to his eye level and let him know your serious.

It didn't work because you didn't follow through, give him the warning, if he misbehaves again put him in the chair, if he gets up, put him back in...keep doing it till he stays, even if it takes an hour...eventually he'll learn you ain't playing around and he'll listen to you.

boneheaderss · Answer

I would not use his car seat as a place to trap him or punish him. A car seat is designed to protect him in a crash. I would not want my child to associate sitting in a car seat to punishment. 

Placing him in his car seat does not teach him how to control himself. I would choose a corner to be known as "the time-out corner" Then if he hits somebody, you go down to his level and tell him with a straight face and in a monotone voice, "That is unacceptable behavior. Hitting hurts people. You need to go to time-out to think about what you did." After that, place him in the time-out corner. You may need to carry him there. If he leaves, pick him up and keep on placing him there. It is okay if he screams or cries while he is in the corner. He just needs to be there for 2 minutes (2 minutes does not seem very long for adults, but it is very long for a child, especially a 2 year old). 

After his 2 minutes are up, tell him that he needs to apologize to his Grandma/ you/ family member for hitting/ kicking them. If he does not apologize, then he needs to stay in the corner for another 2 minutes. 

Consistency is the key. If you mess up one time after putting him there for 30 times, it will take much longer to discipline him. 

Placing him in time-out is suppose to teach a child self control. Placing him in his car seat does not teach him that. 

At the very least, I would stop using his car seat and instead use a play pen.

caraohara · Answer

If you have applied the Super Nanny rules and they didn't work ...it's because there was no consistency in your discipline . Consistency is the key to teaching a child right from wong ....changes don't happen with one attempt , or over night.... but change will come about if you are constant with your discipline . It's very simple ...let your yes mean yes , and your no mean no ....anything else is confusing for a small child ....you are sending out mixed messages .

Anonymous · Answer

time out is a good idea.... but you need to be persistent. make him sit for a minute each year of his life... so if he is 3 years old, make him sit for 3 minutes in time out. watch him to make sure he doesn't leave. if he does try to go, put him back. when the 3 minutes are over, get down to his eye level and say "you went in time out because you were being very naughty and kicking grandma. are you going to go and say sorry?" 

if he says yes, let him go and say sorry. if he says no, tell him he will not leave time out until he goes and apologises

Punishment of a Toddler?

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