is this a good start to a statement of purpose?
Hi I am Trying to get into a CSU and this is the begining of my statement of purpose can you guys ive me harsh input ! thank you !
New Products are produced everyday and new ideas are conceived by the second. Regardless of the time period, the development of new inventions has accelerated and we now live in a society where last year's new technology is today's ancient history. Behind these products are the engineers who take these products through the design process starting with research until ending with production. My vision, dream, desire and career goal and is to become an engineer who actively participates in the design and development of new technology. Becoming a mechanical engineer is the next step in accomplishing this fascinating career.
here is the same into with an added into statement what do you think ?
I believe that if you want something bad enough the world will give it to you. I also believe that without out hard work and dedication these words of wisdom immediately come to a dead end. I have always been a hard worker, not by nature because I can sleep all day, but rather because I have a vision. New Products are produced everyday and new ideas are conceived by the second. Regardless of the time period, the development of new inventions has accelerated and we now live in a society where last year's new technology is today's ancient history. Behind these products are the engineers who take these products through the design process starting with research until ending with production. My vision, dream, desire and career goal and is to become an engineer who actively participates in the design and development of new technology. Becoming a mechanical engineer is the next step in accomplishing this fascinat