What do you think would happen if we all knew each other exactly as we know ourselves?
Like, if we knew all of each other's opinions, even the worst and lowest opinions we have. If we all knew about the cruel and heartless thoughts we sometimes have. If we all knew the horrible reasoning behind every poorly made decision. If we all knew the intent behind every person's action, even if the intent behind it was purely personal gain. If we all knew about every low deed and thought that every single person has, how do you think that would change our social interactions? Do you think we'd all be so completely disturbed and horrified by each other that we wouldn't even want to form social bonds anymore? Or do you think eventually we'd reach a point where we felt we had to lower the standard of human decency so that having cruel opinions was just the norm?
Personally, I know I've had opinions that I know would be very unpopular if they were to get any sort of attention, so I keep them in my mind and don't share them. And I feel like I must know that I'm not the only person with these sort of opinions and thoughts. I'm quite certain other people experience this sort of thing as well. What originally got me thinking about this was a friend of mine confessed to me that he wouldn't befriend himself if he knew everything about himself, but from an outsider's perspective. And I realized I kinda felt the same way about myself. And I feel like others must too. So how do you think it would change the dynamics of social interaction if there were literally no secrets in what we all presently silently think?
2013-04-03T12:54:19Z
So because I couldn't write everything I wanted to say in the little "best answer" box of text, I'll just write it here. :P
So BA will go to Lyra, so thank you so much for the answer, Lyra! I think you really got more of what I was trying to ask than what I actually said-- how we would feel about each other, not if we knew *everything* about each other, but just if we knew some of the more private details about people that are a lot more easily judged.
Because it's not as though no one else can see our flaws. I mean, yeah, we always only try to show the best of ourselves, but or flaws and faults are still visible, especially to close friends and family. But *they* don't only see you by those bad traits. They see all of you, for your humor, sensitivity, intelligence, discourse, etc. I think you're right, we don't ever focus on what's good about ourselves. I *don't* think we see ourselves in such a negative light because we genuinely are horrib
2013-04-03T12:55:18Z
are horrible-- we see ourselves in a negative light because everybody really is his or her own worst critic. So even if everyone knew about all of our worst attributes, I guess they really wouldn't be horrified, would they? Because your good attributes are always a lot more visible and apparent to everyone else than they are to yourself...
Sorry, I guess I'm kinda just thinking out loud :p And when I say "you" I obviously do not mean *you* specifically, haha, just a general "you" as in humanity.
And thank you, everyone, for all the well-thought-out responses! :)
Lyra [and the Future]2013-03-29T17:26:07Z
Favorite Answer
But do we know ourselves?
I have a friend who makes a lot of jokes about himself being a terrible person and he's said things like "I don't know why you're friends with me" to me as a joke, but I wonder how much of it he means. I obviously don't know his mind or his entire life, and I do know he believes he is judgmental and I can't disagree, but I don't see why he would be a terrible person. Also, he is pretty popular with people-- and once he said he didn't understand why this annoying girl likes him and I said "Well, you're a very charismatic and funny person" because it's the truth, and he seemed genuinely surprised by that. So what does he know about himself? In my opinion, he doesn't recognize how wonderful of a person he is. He focuses on what he doesn't like, and that is probably true of most of us. We do tend to focus on what we don't like about ourselves, physically and personality-wise. So even if we all knew the bad things about each other, I think it would still be true that others would see more good in us that we would, ourselves.
Considering people in general, that would be harder. I mean, at least in our American culture, it's like we try to pretend that we're more than human. We are always so concerned with being PC, about being polite and dancing around issues that we have with each other, and at the same time are so critical of each other; there's a theory in psychology called the fundamental attribution error, which is the tendency of people to see the person, rather than his or her situation, as the main cause of that person's behavior-- so if a person is late to class, we tend to think: Oh, that person is a slacker, they don't care, etc. I am consistently late to a class I have on Tuesday and Thursday mornings because I have a horse riding lesson before it and I need time to shower and eat a bowl of cereal before class. I am not a slacker, but it's totally possible that there are people in my class who think I am. We are overly critical of each other without knowing everything.
A society in a world where everyone knows everyone's exact thoughts could be good or bad, or a mix. It really depends on the people, themselves. I am very good friends with a group of people who are very actively involved in the Christian Fellowship. They became close with each other very quickly because they have shared some very personal things, good and bad, and their philosophy is that they can't judge others' actions because it is not their place, and that everyone deserves to be loved because that is what God wants. (I will not discuss whether it is true or not, or whether Christianity is good or bad or stupid, because that is not the point. The fact is, this is what my friends believe.)
As an example, they had just come back from a community service program that addresses social justice issues like sex trafficking. I went to the discussion that they held about it when they came back and they all talked about how they were personally affected by the experience. And one guy talked about his guilt about porn, because one of the things they learned is that often, women are forced to participate in those videos. But let's look at the fact that he brought up his having watched porn. He had to have been very comfortable to do that. CF is a very open community that has established a "no judgment" norm, in general, and he is good friends with select people who were there, but there were also people like me who he knows but not well. And honestly, I know that everyone is not the same and maybe these people are very unique, but I didn't feel judgment in the room. I felt surprised, myself, that he brought it up and even that he has watched porn, I guess, but I guess I found it hard to judge.
So, in an ideal world, people would realize that it's not always rational to judge others by the kinds of thoughts and feelings you mentioned everyone having. Of course, not judging altogether is impossible. But if you have yourself as evidence that a person can feel or think terrible things and still be a rational, good person, you can't criticize others for their terrible thoughts and feelings. This is a complicated question that I would even like to answer in more detail, but my answer is already very long so I'll leave it at this. But it was a very interesting question, Kelly, the first that has gotten me back here in months :)
It's normal to have thoughts like that. Having evil thoughts doesn't make you a bad person, it's what you do that defines you. It doesn't matter that you have bad thought what's more important is if you act on them or not.
The real question is do we really know ourselves?
What about people with low self esteem who are not aware of all of their good qualities or all of the people that have over inflated egos and ignore all of their flaws?
As far as society goes it would probably fall apart and then the people who survive will be able to accept people for everything that they are because that's the way it would have to be if you knew everything about everyone. Or there may be a few people who become so good at lying to themselves that are able to fool everyone into thinking that they are something they are not. which is actually kind of how things are now.
The creator, source , and sustainer of lifestyles knows. He says the useless will not be conscious of anything in any respect, that once we die our ideas are long gone. (Ecclesiastes 9:5; Psalm 146:4) His Son Jesus even compared it to an extraordinarily deep sleep in John 11:11-14. However, there is a resurrection later, and demise will likely be destroyed, as if being thrown into a fireplace and burned up. (Acts 24:15; 1 Corinthians 15:26; Revelation 20:thirteen, 14) incidentally, one's soul does not go on dwelling, according to Ezekiel 18:4, 20, however dies.
Reflections on the chance that we all knew each other as exactly as we do know ourselves.
If we all knew each other we would be all-knowing. If we all knew others as we do know ourselves, perhaps our knowledge would be limited - because in fact we do not know all the details of our material and spiritual life.
If we all knew each other in the best most glowing of ways, we would have a great level to start from, the level of knowing each other and of perhaps wanting to evolve much further from that level.
In our life, in whatever things we are doing and loving to do or are supposed to do (must do) for hopefully our own survival, we are ever consciously or unknowingly preparing for good progress, for success, for change, for a metamorphosis, even for a sequel of wondrous or weird metamorphoses perhaps never thought of before, that may be leading us on towards a great apotheosis of more glowing certainty and of delicious as if perennial bliss; here we may also be imagining that the pious ardent religious believers are on their saintly path or avenue forwards upwards towards their own almighty all-knowing God's ever loving nearness.
Dear good friend of ours from within the wider bounds of this great cyberspace, so also we may be thinking of the improbable vision about all knowing each other in this world and also with the wondrous or even weird more teleological goals.