I am the live-in companion for an elderly man - my prince among men - who is in a nursing home recovering from a terrible accident. His adult children (who are my age) have put me out of the home their father and I shared (his family home) without sufficient written notice (which is against the law). They have also barred me from seeing him claiming that he has dementia. I think I am being lied to about that - but nonetheless, I am complying with their request until I can think of what I really need to do. Their father and I have/had been an established couple for over 6 years and were happy together.
I believe I have a case against these people but I am torn as to whether to even file as it would be very sad for their father. On the other hand, my rights have been violated and some justice would be good.
what should i do? file the complaint against my beloved's children for putting me out and restricting me from visiting him - or just walk away and leave the two of us confused and sad? Clearly there is no "good" choice here - but could you advise me as to what you would do in this case?
2013-04-02T16:38:00Z
Thank you all for your input so far.
We lived together as man and wife for six years - and would be still if it weren't for this situation.
You're right I need to consult with an attorney.
But tell me, if the situation were yours to contend with - what would YOU do?
2013-04-03T04:45:47Z
To David - you horrible man! You can apologize all you want but in no way have I ever been "after his inheritance!" How horrible of you to assume such a dreadful thing! but then - when you assume - you make an a$$ out of u and me. What a dreadful, petty, small little excuse of a human you are!
nappa2013-04-03T06:08:51Z
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every state has different laws regarding living together. some you are considered married while other;s have no common law spouse, best to check with attorney to see what your state law is. sounds like the kids don't want him to die and have you inherit anything from him. thsi happened to friend of mine as her kids locked him out and took her away to nursing home long way from here , he contacted attorney to find out there is no common law marriage in this state so he has just moved on with his life and found another woman. not what he wanted but with state law being no common law spouse he had no gounds to anything, you might be in same boat as he was so first I would consult attorney and go from there,
First of all I'd be wanting to know what "companion" means (like are you a homemaker, are you a renter, are you and he close as in relationship?). My second question would be how long have you been there and do you have a contract with this man.
If you're not in a relationship with the man then I'd think (and depending on the state) that his family could ask you to leave. If you were a renter and his children are thinking he might not return home then if you don't have a rental contract then for sure they can ask you to leave. And if you're a renter even without a lease you can be asked to leave. Depends on what was in the lease as to if they need to give you 30 days or not. If the state says something different about people who just come in and stay then you can contact an attorney on that.
When you said you and he are an "established couple" well you might be living in a state that does not now have "common law". Maybe they once did but don't now. And to become an "established" anything it takes 10 years so you miss the mark.
I don't know that your rights have been violated at all, you had a place to stay, food to eat, whether he paid or you paid doesn't matter, you got that.
Know that according to the hospital(s) you cannot visit someone in there if you are not family. By the law you are not family. His children are only upholding the law when they can you can't visit.
You suggested that "the TWO of us are confused and sad" but we don't really know what he thinks. And we don't know if he's in dementia or not and can make his own decisions.
If I were you I'd just leave his house and find another place to live. You can send him cards if you wish, not saying though if he will get them or not. You can pray for him. And you can send your minister to see him (usually they can get in).
It's a sad but not uncommon story when a couple and children of either one or the other are involved. I'm in a similar situation but having seen these situations before, I had a Power of Attorney drawn up spelling out just who will decide what's done with what if I'm not able to.. Will your partner's doctor attest to his being sound of mind? If so, it's not too late to have a POA drawn up. When you were evicted, was an eviction notice served by a sheriff or deputy? If not, then you could possibly make a case for being illegally removed from the property without the owners consent. Your best move is to see an attorney.
I would wonder why they are treating you this way. I think they are worried that if something happens to their father that you dear lady will get their inheritance. I assume you name is not on the house or lease which makes this very hard. You may have to consult an attorney. Weather they can get away with this is by law their option, but they are just plain nasty to usher you out of the home. I assume it being a family home they are scared you might get a hold of it some how and don't want you talking to their dad.This is understandable, but common decency kicking one out is pretty low to do to someone. They will hurt their father. I would go to the care center and see for my self. You would of known before his accident if you noticed signs of dementia. He may have suffered from brain trauma though. I have a feeling they see you as a gold digger. I would talk to the care about visits although you not being married they do not give out information on their patients for patient privacy rights. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I hope you will both be back together soon. They are greedy, mean, and rude. If you can do nothing more, try and see this fellow to explain you are not abandon him. Who do they think will care for him once he gets home? Have they thought of that.!!!
It all depends on your legal standing. Are you his "live-in companion" or are you his " common - law spouse". I'm not familiar with your living arrangements, but if you were living together in a marriage-like arrangement , it would be worth consulting an attorney to see if anything can be done.
I'm sorry for your circumstances, but if indeed he is demented, and if his family have Power of Attorney over him, then there isn't anything you can do. It truly sounds as if they are worried about you taking over the house ( ie their inheritance) and they want to keep you away . You might have to accept that . But talk to an attorney in family law - there might be some recourse available to you.