Any mad scientists around? Which minion would you rather have?
1. A loyal and yielding minion who was not quite competent?
Extremely loyal, patient and tolerant to mistreatment. S/he will do anything you want to the best of his/her abilities. Which are, unfortunately often insufficient. You keep him/her around because nobody else is willing to be so obedient, and because s/he works for peanuts.
2. A very competent minion who was very stubborn and/or opinionated?
S/he's an expert at what s/he does, but s/he's also very hard to work with. S/he loves his/her job but doesn't quite tolerate your presence, and will often drop subtle but not at all flattering hints. You keep him/her around because you won't find someone so good for so cheap.
3. An unreliable, batshit-insane minion who is even crazier than you?
S/he's both very loyal and very good at what s/he does, but unlike the other two it's very hard to reason with this freak. When s/he gets carried away by something, s/he tends to further it until it no longer makes sense to you, often with disastrous results. You keep him/her because you recognize the genius beneath the madman.
4. A muse?
Unlike the other three, the sole true purpose of this person is to be your inspiration and companion. S/he may be more expensive to keep than all the other three combined, but you like to be around this person, you feel motivated, rejuvenated and much more creative. If only s/he reciprocated your affection...
BQ: Any extra requisites that your minion should meet? (And that won't contradict your choice).