Would marriage counseling work if my husband feel forced to go ?
We ha even married for 7 years, having problems for abt 2 , things where getting out of control, trust issues, family issues , so he started spending lots of time out of the house ... To the point where I put him out of the house for 3 weeks...this month. Now he want to work thinks out so I'm kind of taking him back... While we where having problems , I mentioned counseling and he was totally against it... Now it will not b an option, I'm forcing him to go. But how good would it b if he dosent really want to b there ?, Any one have gone through this situation ? Or does anyone have any advise ??
Tina2014-03-14T07:39:05Z
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The only reason why men (and women) refuse counseling is because they refuse to look at themselves. Why don't you ask your husband to do individual counseling? You’ll have your counselor, and he will have his. Once you both sort out your own lives, then you could start marriage counseling. It takes two to make a relationship work. That should tell you that you both have things you need to change. It makes it easier to work as a couple if you have worked on your own person. Merry was very honest with you. She is telling you that you will still have your ups and downs. There are no guarantees that you will have a perfect marriage. There is no such thing as a perfect couple or a perfect marriage. But you won’t be able to survive as a couple if your husband keeps refusing to get some counseling.
My husband & I went through a tough time a few years ago - regardless of how many times I suggested counselling he refused to go ...he just did not see the value & merit in this process.
It got to the point were I left - it was not easy (it was the hardest thing I have ever done) ...but living in the situation I was with him was not ok either... surprise, surprise... once I left he wanted me back!
However, my "condition" to this was that we undergo counselling ... he was reluctant ..but I stood my ground (leaving had been SO hard that I did not want to return & then end up just back in the same situation all over again)... He reluctantly agreed to go to counselling (I said we had to go to counselling 3 times before I would discuss moving back with him & after the 3 sessions he agreed to continue with the counselling).
I am not going to sugar coat things & say it was a recipe for a happily ever after (we still have ups & down's) ...but standing my ground about us getting some help in our marriage was a good thing on many levels.
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How would you "force" him into counseling??? A gun to the back?? Even if you could force him to be there physically you can't force him to participate! If you really cannot live with his family....if this is really a deal breaker for you then.... Tell him this is it he either comes with you his wife of 11 years or he stays with mommy. Then stop coming back to him. He is not going to take you seriously if you keep coming back to him. Tell him he can still have a relationship with his family without living with them and choosing them over his wife! Then leave and leave the ball in his court.